Carole Radziwill

Carole begs for rehab and asserts that Ramona and Aviva's fight is Top 3 in Housewife History.

on Sep 25, 2012

Today is F. Scott Fitzgerald’s birthday. He had a lot of friends and trust me, they all drove drunk. He was a wiz, too, with metaphor so I think I’ll borrow his words.

“[Real Housewife] quarrels are bitter things. They’re not like aches or wounds, they’re more like splits in the skin that won’t heal because there’s not enough material.”

I know what he’s talking about -- I don’t have enough material for this blog. Do you get the feeling you’ve read it all before? Same stuff, different scene. I’ve got George buying potency wood, Sonja too upset to hang her coat, Heather strutting her Yummie with skill, Robin Pocker of the Pocker pictures pocketing paintings with her crew, Aviva giving spelling lessons and. . .well, whatever. That penthouse is really high up.

This will be short and “Areyoukiddingme” will be happy. She likes a short blog. She mentioned it, by comment, circa Episode 13. She said “Good God, Carole,” and you defended me. Thank you, defenders. #letsstay2gether

Sonja, The Ex and Dorian Grey
Sonja is so upset after the non-meeting with her J. P. Morgan that she can’t bear to hang her coat. Her friends are in Palm Beach, or Lifer Key, or else lunching and Sonja can’t even keep her house. She has bills to pay and a toaster oven to make, and Mr. Morgan is not at all interested in her décolletage.

Sonja doesn’t know where it went wrong. She was everything in the kitchen; everything in the bedroom. Hmmm. . .I see the problem now. I wish they’d come to me. You can’t cook for heads of state in a toaster oven, it’s limiting, as are dogs and friends and interns in your bed. I didn’t try those sorts of things when I was married, but as a rule, I don’t think they work.

Sonja has turned a corner on friends and husbands. She’s taking down the portraits that the Queen Mother’s painter painted. Oh boy. Nothing sincere can come after that statement. Here it comes: The Morgans are American royalty. Yes, royalty who charge us $3 to use their ATMs. There’s an Aristocrat for you. (Cheap!) No wonder he hasn’t kept to his pre-conception agreement.