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Just because I am the new girl doesn't mean you can tell me to shut up! I said this during the episode, I'm saying it now, and you will definitely see it again in this blog. I will start off by talking about things that are very dear to my heart and actually important in life. I want to say thank you to all the wonderful people who wrote in to say such nice things, send genuine condolences about Jeff, and take the time to share such personal stories with me. Jeff and I decided to do this show because we knew that many people could relate to our story. It seems like almost everyone is touched by cancer in some way shape or form nowadays. Thank you to the many people that were offering to open donations in Jeff's name, that was so kind. Jeff was admitted to City of Hope and it was an amazing hospital! A lot of people continue to make donations in his name there as well. I can only hope that by sharing our story it will help educate, bring more awareness to this disease, and give an authentic view of the ups and downs of dealing with such a disease.

Jeana is correct in how the real estate market in Orange County has really taken a hit in some areas. It is extremely disheartening to me to see so many homeowners across the country dealing with such a hard loss. I cannot imagine losing a home and the place most people find comfort and joy. I am a real estate agent myself, but I decided to stop working so I could spend the time with Jeff and be his full time caretaker. Lots of people don't really understand what it takes when someone becomes that sick (unless you have been there yourself).

I had a wonderful conversation tonight with a dear woman who wanted to talk to me after seeing the first episode. Her daughter is six years old and is sick as well, and she is going through some of the same things that I experienced. She completely understood and appreciated that I was sharing my story. She has had to stop working as well and completely understood the devotion and time it takes to be the sole caretaker. I wouldn't change it for the world because I loved Jeff, but I'm not going to pretend that it was all a bowl of cherries. Throughout the series you will see the struggles both Jeff and I have while going through this difficult time.

Comments

11 Comments
05/16/2009 - 2:28am
Stacey

Gretchen,

You have an amazing spirit. Having a loved one with cancer is heartbreaking. My step-father had non-hodgkins lymphoma, early stage 4. He was about 2 weeks from death before he EVER went to see a doctor. We were sure we were going to lose him. The doctor doubted he was going to be able to save his life but said "I'm going to do everything I can to save you, but I can't promise you you'll survive". My step-sisters and I all live in different places in the country so we took turns going down to stay with him so he was never alone. My mother and him are divorced and have been for over 10 years. But she took care of every little detail, every minute, every day for over a year. She has an amazing spirit. I tell her all the time how strong she is. But what was more amazing was my step-father attitude. He survived, and has been in remission for over a year. I understand how physically and mentally draining it can become. Even when you're not there it's a constant struggle to be positive. Sometimes I thought it was more difficult to keep a positive attitude when I was in the room with him. You can't let your cancer patient know you're scared. I never exuded anything but positive energy. My biggest fear was that he was going to give up. I have immense admiration for what you did for Jeff. You put him first before anything else. Including yourself. You're a wonderful person. Don't let anyone else ever tell you different.

03/04/2009 - 8:43pm
Melody

Gretchen, It is so obvious the Tamara and Vicki are soooo jealous of you.Their excuse is that you want to be the center of attention all the time.But you are without even trying... Keep that confidence baby girl. And remain all natural.It works for you,the others look so fake,especially Tamara and Vicki.

03/03/2009 - 1:43am
Phyllis

Gretchen - it is amazing how you held your composure when others attacked you about not being with lovely Jeff 24/7 - that is your business. Also, watching Jeff's kids, they seem to love you. I know that if I thought someone was tying to hurt my dad while he was dying (I am 42 now -but my dad was special to me and I would not be so cordial with a woman I thought my serious ill dad was involved suspiciously with such a younger woman, and I know I would not feel as comfortable as Jeff's kids are with you unless I truly believed in the relationship. Also, I think it is great that you did not make Jeff marry you being so sick and not asking him about your financial future. I found this season to be so catty and disresepctful.

Good luck.

03/02/2009 - 1:51pm
Bunnibones

Gretchen,

I just love you on the show and know I would in person. I notice you are the only one without botox or fake boobs. You are beautiful. Please don't fall into that botox crap. Look how fake and big the other's lips look. They don't look like real people even. You are such a nice person. I never hear you say anything judgemental to anyone. Good for you for sticking up for yourself. Don't let those others change you. OMG, They are so jealous of you. I love your personality.

03/01/2009 - 5:16pm
Viewer

first sincerest condolenses to you and jeff's children for your loss.your love for him showed as did his love for you.your a beautiful woman inside and out .please don't become bitter and harsh like the rest of the women on the show.and you are right Tamara did blind sight you at her dinner party .what she did to you was cruel and evil through the entire season.but the viewers saw right through it all.you came out on top stay there

03/01/2009 - 4:35pm
Ann

Gretchen: You are the most REAL person of all the Housewives. Don't let them get you down.

Please tell me about your sunglasses...I want them! Would love to know how to obtain them.

Looking forward to next season.

Ann

02/28/2009 - 4:50am
Venus

Let me begin by saying first my condolences to you Gretchen. I was so sad to hear of Jeff's passing. The Lord takes his finest prayer worriers in societies times of great need for prayer and angels work.

Knowing just how fragile each moment is a gift and a curse. The gift- living each moments not worrying about the Barney's I mean the Jones's. The Curse-know how quickly those we love can be gone. It's intense how important and sobering it can be to
lose significant people.

Gretchen, you are never without him now and no one can make you feel guilty. Jeff & You had what you had... And it was all yours, that's the priceless gift he left you forever. The memories

I too am 31, my fiance' was a pilot and he died a year ago Feb.8,2008. Doing what he loved, flying.

Watching this show is a tremendous combination of fun and frustration. You have been a wonderful addition to the cast. You and Lyn bring a wonderful lively youth innocence to these jaded shark ladies of the OC. I do like Jeana and love watching her grow. Once, I was a Studio City, CA house wife, abused. I get the steps and she's taking them nicely. It's a process.

It's really quite a drag to listen to and watch self righteous Tamra and Vikki barraid and torture others with catty, ignorant rants and raves. They are two of the most SHALLOW and VAPID, insecure, self absorbed souls who do a valid job of representing OC and really most of SO CAL, I must include LA County...

Do they have a clue how successful they could be if they would just close their lips and listen. And not to the wheels turning in their heads. I do mean that both metaphorically as well as literally.

I appreciate your fresh honest perspective, your a beautiful, pretty down to earth chic chick with some class and style. I can appreciate that, I'd hang out with you. And you would never be embarrassed by you. I feel you do handle your self well even when u get yourself into a pickle.

Love happens when your least expecting it and ladies like us are prone to fall in love because we are the whole package. I did when I wasn't looking and he was a gem during my grieving. I really don't think I could have done it successfully without him. So don't worry about them worry about you... You just fine.

In closing, God Bless each of you
Real House Wives of the OC.
Be Blessed and be a Blessing

Cordially,
~Venus Banuelos
inmyown.com
myspace.com/venuscybergoddess

02/25/2009 - 9:44am
Kathy B.

Hi Gretchen! First of all i want to say that You are my favorite on the show!! And honestly i didn't watch it that much before u came along!U are real, sincere, and adorable! U totally remind me of one of my best friends Debbie. Looks and ur personalities everything! I think that the other housewives have been extremely horrid to you and to Lynne. I feel bad for her too. Also my condolences on Jeff! hat man adored you and it was plain to see that you loved him too. And for some "witch" like Tamra to say otherwise is wrong. Tamra had my blood boiling a few episodes and VIkki too. I watched the reunion last night & Tamra is just jealous of you honey! If your ever in South FL email me kathy_ossa@yahoo.com Keep being strong and DO NOT let them walk all over u!!Chin up girlie!! :)

02/25/2009 - 1:37am
Viewer

Gretchen,
I think you handle everyone very well. I think that fact that you see the real Jeana (not a heavy or fat person). I am a single mother that sees the best in people. Just stick in there and help Jeana see that her ex was emotionally abusing her and that she is better than that. I think that Tamra is putting herself on a pedestal. Vicki is just stick in the older times and needs to get a clue. I have a great friend that is five or six years younger than me but she acts like she is my age. I respect her opinions and she respects that it is my decision. I hope Jeana, Lynne, and you do the same.

02/23/2009 - 10:45pm
barbi henry

VICKI,
I am a pretty successful Insurance/Financial Services gal in Fla., and I would really like to move to Orange County. I have family out there and I am ready to move close to them due to some abrupt changes in my life. Are you looking for any fully licensed agents in your firm?
Please email me and let me know. I really enjoy watching you and admire where you are and how you got to be so successful...

02/22/2009 - 11:20pm
Viewer

Hi Gretchen,
I've watching this TV program, since you've been on the air. My thoughts on how the others treat you makes me sick. I too was in love with an older man, he also died before we were married. I am happy that you have the courage and strength to continue this program. May God bless you and keep you safe.
You are the one who made this show a success! I am praying for you, and always remember people grieve differently. There's no right way or wrong way!
Sincerely,
Mrs. Aguilar

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