I don't feel sorry for you. Go get a job and be independent. I think your a little too much into yourself.
Life on a budget sucks. The end. That'd be my whole blog this week if there weren't so many other interesting things going on.
It was, I'll admit, really weird to hear myself in an office conference room with producers sitting around a table. You hear yourself differently. I'm used to hearing myself talk. I'm on a reality show, my voice is my voice. Singing is different. Professionally recorded sound is completely different than singing in a shower. And of course I knew that, but it really does strike you when you're sitting in a room full of people.
There are more people involved in this singing career now, and with that comes this feeling that there are more people who are trying to make decisions for me. And so it's important, (and difficult) to just trust that everyone is there to help. We're all there to make the best decision. We're a team. I've never had so many people talking about me, in a room, at once. It's weird to have people step in to help and guide you. You lose some control, and you put 100% of trust in them. You start out on this journey into the music industry, and...wow. It's a lot to take in. Plus, if I fail, I not only fail myself, I fail them. And that's an enormous amount of pressure.
So far, it's going well. I'm re-recording all my vocals next week. I've gotten a couple of record label offers. I can't make anything official yet, because I haven't accepted anything. I got a publishing deal. I've had movie offers, TV offers. And then one or two of those "we want Jo De La Rosa to be the face of..." offers. It's all very exciting and very unknown, and that's why I love it. There's mystery to it.