Josh just turned 20 years old on the 20th of December. He celebrated with other inmates that made him a cake out of Top Ramon and I sang Happy Birthday to him over the jail phone with a glass window between us. I am usually able to fight back my tears when I visit, but not that day. Jail has made me realize how important touch is and how I've taken this sense for granted. I ache to hold him. I missed him terribly on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, as this was the first year in 20 years that I have not been with him during this special time. I quietly watched all of George's and my children enjoy Christmas Day, but I did not feel complete. Josh is anxious to get all of his struggles behind him and yet his impending release in a few weeks causes him anxiety. He worries if he has the strength to beat his addiction and get away from his friends that enable him. George and I have been trying to help him formulate a plan that will help him.
Despite the challenges that life has brought me, I am thankful for my family and friends that continue to give support. My Mom and George are always there for me. I rarely go more than a day or two that I do not talk to my Mom. She is such a strong, loving, wonderful and insightful person and I am so lucky to have her in my life. George continues to be my backbone. He never lets me down and is such a great source of both strength and knowledge. I really am thankful for him.
All of our daughters are doing great. A silent competition exists to see who can get the best grades in school. Sophia and Bria are really into their horses and love to ride. Softball season is drawing near, so George and I will soon be taking up residence at the local parks again! I am trying to get my butt in shape for sitting!