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"When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they don't understand each other, but a sign that they have, at least, begun to." -Helen Rowland
What a week. I wanted to thank all the outpouring of support from everyone for Tammy and me regarding recent events. This is not something either one of us would have wished on each other. Please keep the prayers and support coming. I know I can feel it around me when I feel low and down. And I humbly ask at this time to please respect our privacy, something we don't have the luxury of anymore. We both want to protect and be there for our kids. They are the most important thing to us. So let me just say a few words, and then let it rest.
I would have given anything to have this play out in any different scenario. Divorce was the last resort, and came with much despair. However, based on her actions and words on the show, I really felt that this is what my wife wanted all along. What other assumption can I or anyone in their right mind assume? I really do love her and only wish the best for her. In fact, she has told me recently that she is happy being single. And even the way she has dressed lately (she does look really hot) tells me that being single is what she wants. Of course that hurts me. I wish she wanted to be married to me, but that is not in her heart right now. And after some recent events this past week, I have come to the conclusion that we will never be together again. And I will have to accept that.
After attending church and putting the kids to sleep the other night, I started to feel sorry for myself and shed some tears. Then out of the blue, I had an epiphany. Why was I continuing to be upset and miserable? This was no different than when we were together. I realized I was going to have to open up my heart and soul, forgive her, and let go of all this animosity and anger. Once I came to this realization, a quiet peace came over me. I immediately wrote Tammy an email to let her know how I felt. I wrote that I forgave her and hoped she could forgive me. At that moment I was at peace with everything and everyone. I started to uncontrollably smile. Why continue to be angry and upset? I know that anger only harms yourself and attracts more negativity. So instead, I released and let it go. It was a spiritual experience and gave me such strength. I have and will always support her as much as she will let me. I see that I was right about ending the marriage. She has embraced her independence and loves being single. I guess I should have realized this when she barely showed up for our marriage counseling. This brings me to all the people that are suggesting counseling to save our marriage. We tried that! We started going the day we signed to do the show, three years ago. Unfortunately counseling needs two willing participants to succeed.
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Hi Simon I loved both of you on the show....I see your strong character and many people interperet knowing what you want into controlling. I dont and I very much admire a strong willed person who sets out for what they want. I feel awful about the way the show patrayed you this season and I'm sorry you had to go through that.....all the best to you and your family, I'll miss seeing you on the show
Very well said good luck to you and yours, I did not see a mean man the way most people are speaking, I seen a man who loves his wife and kids, I seen a beautiful lady change over time with this show, which is very sad for all
Simon, I thought you were a great husband to Tamara till I started listening to you dig at what she says, or what other people said, or tell her what to wear? OMG all women want to look hot for their man, that doesn't mean she's not married! You kept making little back handed "compliments" like on your anniversay this season, "yeah 13 years, a lot of my friends tell me they'd have been gone they don't know how I've stayed this long with you." OMG how insulting and on your anniversary and she was making out with you..she backed off and said "wait what does that mean?" that and I'm suree tons of other digs and remarks helped to make it that much easier for her to leave you. No woman should ever live in fear that she will make her husband man for what she wears or says. I never saw her wear anything that showed her whole breast or her cooter so you were just a controlling husband. FYI? that never works, so I hope you've learned a lesson.
Ok, that was sweet. I don't know how much of it you meant or how much of it was window dressing, but it was sweet.
Having a controlling husband as you were, did you actually really think your marriage had a chance..? You treated your wife like a child. You were so controlling. Its so hard to believe she put up with you as long as she did... You never showed her any respect but yet you demanded respect. Did you really think you were going to have a happy ending? Maybe, you have learned a lesson in your next relationship.. Women deserves respect as much as the men.
Simon, bravo for the epiphany. I believe that you will heal. In your next relationship; don't tell your wife to 'dress like a married woman'. What does that mean, that she has to stop wanting to feel attractive and female? don't be insecure and you will be a catch. If you don't change the control issues, then you will end up here again. God bless you, and I know you will find happiness. God opens a window when a door closes. Let the sunshine in!
Simon, I have been suffered alot in my childhood from my parents divorce and I can tell you children suffer the most. You are a strong man and I know you are a great father just continue to do so and you will have no regrets. ALWAYS speak nothing but kind loving words to your children regarding their mother. They will always love and respect you for this. It is extremely hurtful when your parent speaks badly about the other. This divorce is very hurtful for your children but you or Tamra shouldn't make it more hurtful with disrespecting each other. I know you are going to be just fine always remember to put God first in your life and he will do the rest!! Take Care & God Bless!! Darlene.
Simon, It is truly sad to see good people break up especially whenever there are children. The two of you as a couple in the earlier seasons was completely different than the latter ones. Where is the Simon, who used to like when his wife dressed up sexy. Who's face lite up when his wife walked into the room. The guy that gave her a wonderful b-day party on a yacht & then surprised her with a beautiful Rolex watch! Where is that guy? I think you do have some control issues, it came out in episode's about Ryan. But I also believe that it comes from caring. Your attitude on the whole dress issue in the final episode was selfish. Every women wants to feel good about herself & look good for her man. She was reaching out to you for support & approval & you missed the signs. On the other hand, What the hell happen to Tamra? Tamra living in fear that she's going to make you mad, ridiculous. Her negative comments & use of the word Divorce just added more bad than good. There is a saying, If you think it & believe it... it will come true. That goes for good as well as bad. I wish that divorce wasn't the answer & hope you both find peace & happiness whether that's together or apart. Of course, us viewers only get a glimpse of the "true reality". There is no such thing as a perfect marriage because no two people are perfect.
My heart goes out to you. It seems from observation of the show that you and "Tammy" had a great marriage with love & respect for each other before starting the show. Unfortunately, it did appear that the feelings were lost in the show and the marriage did became one sided. I hate to see that- you are clearly someone meant to be in a committed, loving and lasting relationship. Keep your eyes and your actions on the Lord and your life will be rich with more love than one could ever imagine.
God Bless You and your family!
YOU love your wife, you know it. She loves you and you know it. Quit playing he said she said, go to her and talk to her. You two are a God made couple. You guys are the opposite halves of one another. Different but extreme compatible if you just come together with your hearts wide open again. Forget all flaws and get back to the basics LOVE.
You guys belong with each other.
Hey Simon, I have been watching all Episodes..ALL of them.. I'm so glad that both of you realized to part ways, for good. Tamara began to change since the begining of the show. You are a little too controlling in your own way,Therapy could have helped with both of your issues.Good Luck!
Simon, I have watched housewives here and there and never read or commented on this blog till now.. But wow, this season has me riveted, especially to see the dynamics of a marriage (yours and Tamra's) that so closely resembles my own. I have accused my husband of being controlling on several occasions and he has accused me of having misplaced priorities but at the end of the day we love each other, respect and understand our differences, and we realize that we balance each other out. We know that our values, which are our children and family, are top. This is the glue that binds us together. And so to hear of your divorce is very disheartening to me. I am hopeful that with time and perspective somehow this marriage can be saved...
OMG! Simon, you are not God's gift to women! Poor Tamara... stuck with you all those years. You were very controlling and uptight on the show. You really do need a shot of happiness! Before you look at all HER faults, look at yourself in a mirror.
You're the man. Watching all this unfold was like watching my relationship with my ex wife. I'm also reserved but definitely no prude. My wife turned totally aggressive on just like Tamra and those are totally signs that it's over. I got shitted on with her cheating on me and it hurt for a while but whatever don't kill you makes you even stronger. Believe me, in a little bit you'll turn around and see how good it is to be out of a marriage of that sort. Gook Luck and it will be tough but it's only temporary.
No sympathy....you have to be 50/50 in a relationship and accept people for who they are and who their friends are.
Married a guy like you 15 years ago and thank goodness, he's history like you are.
Best of luck finding a woman who meets your needs.
Simon, the reason that your marriage didnt work out is plain and simple. You need to grow a set. A man who has such little confidence that he's constantly trying to control every single thing his wife does has no place being in a serious relationship, much less married. I've witnessed your wuss-bag behavior season after season. You think that you're being a man because you tell your wife how she should dress and act? Not even close. A real man knows that he's attractive enough to keep his wife. A real man has the confidence to know that his wife can dress provocatively and she will still be his at the end of the night. You need some serious counseling brother. To all of the women here who are praising him: Did we watch the same show? Im sure you would all love to be married to a dude who is so afraid that another guy is going to notice you that he can't even get it up anymore. Right. Open your eyes.
I've missed a few episodes so I was trying to catch up via the blogs before the finale. First, I want to say I'm happy you did a blog. I just finished reading them, and to be honest, it's refreshing to hear the husband's perspective. Second, I'm truly sorry that things didn't work out for you and Tamara. The last episode I saw was her getting the tattoo... I don't know, I just thought you'd be able to work it out. That said, I'm happy you've been able to forgive her. I hope you both are happier this way, and wish you both the best of luck.
I really thought she went a great deal but I also thought you were too controling she has to deal with the envy of vickie success tamra needs to work and find out who she is thats all vickie herself realized she had to give don what he needed to keep him and she did now your wife has to do the same never allow friends to determine your path live your own life .good luck god bless church is where you should be GOD heals all wounds .
I have always felt Tamra wasn't on your side. Now that you both have decided to part ways, I say you were too good for her. It was obvious week to week that the two of you were going different ways. I am not in your world. I work week to week and pray every day I don't get laid off from my crappy sales clerk job. What I wouldn't do to have the security and the life you gave Tamra. Best Regards, Maryann Cadogan
I have been watching this show since season 2 and have never posted a comment although I have had plenty of things I could have said. I just want you to know that even though I sort of have sided with your wife at times I realize you think just like my husband and I love and respect him even though sometimes he makes me mad but I know he's right. So in the end I agree with you and if Tammy really loved you she would stick with you no matter what and try to work things out.
It is very easy to judge others, but I want to say that life is about overcoming difficult times. This is definetly a challenging time, but I want to encourage you both to remember the love n passion you had before. We all say things out of anger n hurt but focus on understanding each other. Being single isn't so great, and money doesn't buy happiness. I'm sure she will find that out,hopefully soon. Trying to save your marriage isn't something you should let go of easily.
$10 says Simon is the author of all the "OMG you're so hot!" and "She doesn't know how good she had it!" posts. The writing style on all those posts is creepily familiar.
Anyone want to take me up on my bet? I have only one word to describe this guy, bitter.
Sorry to hear about the divorce. Tamara is and always has been my least favorite but I never would wish divorce upon anyone. Marriage is hard and 10 years is a badge of honor as well as a caution sign to never take things for granted. Stay close to your kids Simon! I am a product of a divorced family and can say for experience how important it is. Never make comments all reveils itself someday and unfortuatley for Tamara is it is on video.
Hi Simon, I know divorce is hard and probably not best for your children, but you deserve a wife that wants to be a wife and mother. Tamara was also so concerned about being the "hottest" housewife. We NEVER saw her be a mother to her children. You deserve better. I certainly hope you don't plan on supporting Tamara. Of course you should help support your children, but if Tamara wants to be single, she needs to support herself financially instead of taking advantage of your kindness and love for her. She can't have her cake and eat it too. Hopefully the kids will be with you, since you are the more responsible parent. Best wishes!
SORRY TO HEAR!!! BUT ALL THAT CRAP SHE TALKED ABOUT GRETCHEN IS GOING TO COME BITE VHER IN THE ASS NOW!!!!
Wow. Tamara was such a lucky woman. I never understood why she and Vicki would be so obsessed with Gretchen and whether or not she was using Geoff or loved him or what. Why did either of them care when they were married to two men who seemed to be really decent and stable and caring.
I'm sorry to hear about the divorce. I never minded you, I liked that you had a backbone and ethics. It was nice to see a more vulnerable, warm side to you this season though. I always enjoyed the scenes with both of you, I'm sorry to hear things are not what they seemed :( Best wishes to you and Tamara.
wow I'm so sorry Simon!! You are a great father and husband and Tamara is in for a very rude awakening! She has no idea what is in store for her in the real world! My prayers are with you. Cindy D
I have to say that it was obvious to me a long time ago that you were destined for a divorce. You are both better off. Your children will thank you later when they are older. There is nothing good about two parents staying together when they are miserable. On the show you really did come across as a controlling husband. I'm sure there is much much more than we as viewers could ever know. I hope you and Tamra find peace and happiness separately. God bless your children! Kelly
Simmon, you are either a really overly sensitive person whom is confused as you are going through a divorce or a master manipulater trying to control the reactions of the reader, in reading your version of life as you now know it I'm not sure? Very confusing statements, but your relationship as depicted on the OC with Tamara was just that, a tag team of master manipulation of who can control who? Manipulation and control is never a healthy situation for anybody as there is always someone not fulfilled in the end! Lack of fulfillment causes anger and resentment, in turn conflict, as I am sure there is much intense debate between you two which is possibley worse when cameras are off! Obviously there is much passion between you and Tamara, but the twisted realationship of control balances and lack of partnership is quite disturbing to watch. As a concerned viewer for you, Tamara and children, I pray for you to look inside yourselves, put away the selfishness, and go to counseling to find a healthy way to get along without having to control one anothers lives! Divorce is actually another way of manipulation and control!! You say Tamra dodged counseling, what is this the third grade, we are all as adults only responsible for our own actions, hopefully she will follow (as you are the man) by example!!! You are both beautiful people inside and out and deserve happiness in this short time we are all given on this Earth! Something so simple such as bad realtionship habbits can easily be worked on, don't give up on your beautiful loving family and especially your children. Keep an open mind and heart, and love will come back in!! God bless you and your family!
Simon, I think you're great! I'm young (under 30) and have been happily married for 6 years. I don't think that you are a controlling husband at all. You set a positive example for all responsible men. I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you and Tamara. But you should know that you are HOT too and deserve a wife that can appreciate you all that you do for your family.
Your an excellent writer simon! I think perhaps you should start writing a book. I know I'd read it :-)
OMG i cannot believe the woman "catnipbones" hitting on simon!!! first of all the name!!! second of all how desperate are you that you hit on a man on his fake blog on a reality tv show????????????????
I think that Simon and Tamra are forgetting about their kids.
Tamra seems to be more involved in her "future" image as a sex queen. Simon is more interested in controlling Tamra.
I have lived through it, the kids are the best part of life. MAKE IT WORK!
Just makes me wonder how much financial strain played a role in this? Have been following the show since the beginning and you both seemed very happy when times were good. I live in California too, and it's been a rough last two years to say the least. I'm not sure my husband and I could have made it through with the financial difficulties as well as the added pressure of working through it on camera. Wishing you better times to come!
Simon, I'm very sorry that things have turned out like this for you. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to try to live through such challenging times with cameras in front of you.
You seem like a very good man and when things are going well, you have a really beautiful smile. There have just been times when you've looked so incredibly sad. I wish there was a safe way to do these things... I'm an excellent listener but, I live in San Francisco. It's been awhile since I've been in a relationship but, when I was, I wanted to be with the guy I was in love with.
I pray that everything works out for your family and your beautiful children. If you ever get up to San Francisco, I'd love to meet you.
God Bless! Keep looking forward and know that things will get better. If one door is closed, a window will open for you and the happiness you're missing will come back so much stronger. It' often hard to know why something happens. It's almost always followed by something much better. Just take it a day at a time.
Hi Simon, I'm very sorry to hear that you and Tammy are divorce i went thur one myself less than 2 years ago so i know how much it hurts to see someone you love do that to you. But reading some of your Blogs i understand you a little better i really hope for the best for you and your family. I pray that Tammy wakes up and understands that it not that easy to throw a good man out the door.
Obviously you are not the ogre depicted on the "reality" show. It appears that creative editing is being used to paint whatever story the producers think will harvest the largest audience and sell the most advertising. I get the feeling that if I ever actually met anyone from the show, they would really be very little like their TV character.
I've been a follower of the show since the beginning. I had a bad impression of you until now. Tamara was playing you and Vicki against each other and didn't have the balls to stand up for her friend. Your words are strong and comforting. I've been divorced two years and it still hurts. I'm working on forgiving, first I have to stop loving. Good Luck to you and your Family!
I'm sorry but i have watched the show from the beginning with the original cast and when tamara and simon came on board. But simon and tamara has changed but especially simon. A marriage takes two people for it to work. I have definitely seen a changed in simon from last season to this season. I wouldn't point all of the fingers to tamara. I also point the finger to simon too.
Simon, I wish you all the luck with your decision of divorcing. I feel that you and Tamara are in 2 different spots in life, as you being older has alot to do with it. I personally, couldn't deal with any younger man. It brings on nothing but more problems. I feel you,the kids and Tamra will all be fine.I know what divorce is all about. Good luck to yah!!!
I'm sorry to hear about your divorce and I hope everything works out. I hope that both you and Tamra realize things about yourselves and decide to change. I always thought you were a chauvinist pig and Tamra a self-absorbed materialistic child. However, that is what I see on TV and I do not know you or anyone on the show personally. I really do hope that you both find peace and happiness. And I hope for the best for your children.
you always said vickie and donn marriage was messed. to blind to see that you had four fingers pointing back at you just jealous of vicki thats all. felt crazy when you seen them renew their vows. things went so good for them, do your self a favor next worry bout your relationship, because wat goes around comes around. too busy downing vickie when you was controlling tamra every move....now look where it got you.....
Simon it,s easy to see that youre wife wanted all the camera time. You my friend just got in the the way if thing,s. As for blaming vickie come on the only thing she did was let your wife use her to bring all that was wrong in her life because tamra is,t and will never be mature enough to handle what a man who does it all for his family. Oh yeah it really looked to me that tamra is the only women on the show That carry,ed her self loose and wanted the other women,s husband,s to look at her. You should be happy that youre still young enough to fined love in another women.
Wow, Your blogs have really been heartfelt. I feel sad for the two of you and wish that somehow you guys can get back to the place that made you fall in love to begin with. I can tell you both love one another and this must be very painfull for all in the family. We are all human and we sometimes expect too much from one another. Putting your life out there for the world to see just magnified the problems. Take a deep breath and go back to the place that was once good for the two of you. Some times its the simple things in life that can snap you back to "reality". Im really praying for the best for you guys whatever that may mean. Sincerly a fan.
I've watched this show from the beginning and what I have noticed is how Tamra has evolved into her own person. When Tamra was not with you, she was more out-going, a bit of a free spirit. I think you saw that behavior as threatening to the control that you had in the marriage. It appears that in the past you had control over Tamra, and now, with the help of Vicky, she has come to realize that she cannot be herself around you and that your controlling ways are stifling and constricting. Simon, you need to realize that you are her husband and not her father. While some say you have a traditional view of marriage, I think you view your marriage as ownership and that Tamra has to agree and obey you at all costs with no questions. You even had a problem with Tamra going back to work and earning money for the family because you felt that her role in the family was to stay at home. Tamra was exerting independence and you obviously do not want her to have anything independent from you or what you give her permission to do. A good healthy marriage is comprised of two people that enjoy each other's company, but at the same time have independent lives of one another. Your whole world is not meant to be your marriage partner. You continue to berate Vicky and Don's marriage, however they appear to have a very productive marriage. Don and Vicky don't try to control one another and each is aware of the other's personality and does not try to constrict or stifle that person's personality. When you talked about Vicky being a bad influence on your wife and wreaking havoc on your marriage, I think you were reaching with that statement. You saw your wife changing into a person that was beginning to question you and your controlling ways and you blamed Vicky for that. It appeared that you were very insecure with yourself and your marriage because every chance you had you put down Vicky and Don. Look at it this way, Vicky and Don may have had problems in the past, however their kids are grown and were out of the house for college and now only have each other and appear to be getting along great. Don allows for Vicky to be her own peron and does not try to mold her into someone else nor does he resent her for being an independent, successful woman. He is proud of her and her achievements. You should take a page out of Don's book and let your wife be her own person, celebrate her vitality, support her in her independence and give her the space to make mistakes that one can learn from.
Maybe Tamera should have mirrored Vicki a little more and your marriage would have a chance. Vicki isnt perfect but at least shes trying to make some changes for her family. Thats what mature people do. They fix whats broken.They look at what they can do to help a bad situation. Tamera wants to put on a short skirt and low cut top and prance around strange men and pretend shes 20 again. She should have fought for her husband, children and marriage. Its sad to see a husband and children lose their family b/c the wife and mother cant grow up! Im sorry you and the children will suffer at her hand.