Vicki Gunvalson

Vicki talks about a girls weekend gone wrong.

on Dec 17, 20090

Well enough of the somberness, I have some great news! My book More than A Housewife launched this week and it's been a huge success. It's a book about inspiration, finding your true purpose in life, how I got started in the insurance business and a little bit about me growing up. After seven months of working on it, I'm so proud that it's actually finished and is perfect timing right before the holidays.

 

As always, if you are looking for a free quote on life insurance, please visit my website at www.cotoinsurance.com. There are over 85 million people who are not insured for life insurance, please don't be one of them. There is a 100% chance you are going to pass away, we just don't know when.

Happy Holidays to everyone, I wish you peace and joy during this season.

Love,
Vicki

547 comments
Debra from Canada
Debra from Canada

Vickie, you did the right thing. I get you and understand your situation. Unfortunately the only person who get girls time is Lynn and on the boat she was feeling like the third wheel and no one felt that for her as they all carried on.

I think that those ladies are jealous of you. Your independance speaks for itself and you do not have to get your husbands permission or him telling you what you can and can't do, you have a partner ship not them. Gretchen just has a need and if it works for her great.

Financial difficulties are common these days with the economy and it is clear that the only person who is really not feeling it is you. They are the jelous ones not you but please stop making comment that you work as you say it way too much, they know and respect you for that already without you saying it. It is like putting salt on the wounds for them and it takes something away from you and makes them the victims as though they are being picked on for their choice if it is every their choice.

Last but not least the snoring was just wrong its a joke with you and Don and they thought it was rhude and it was. You could have gone to the bathroom. But what you say to their faces they do it behind your back. Two wrongs don't make a right, they are no better.

All the best to you and you are the only one I would say that to, the rest need to get it and grow a back bone.

Much Regards Debra from Canada

MTCOLL
MTCOLL

A girls weekend is a girls weekend. Those men have nothing going on except their beautiful wives so cannot let them out of their site. Thats the sad truth. And women let this happen. Its a universal problem I am afraid.

ny housewife
ny housewife

vickie,even your high road approach,,,,is low,even for you you wont be missed by me if you leave,take tammara w/ you

Gi Gi
Gi Gi

Vicki~ I've seen the show since day one and as weird as it sounds because I don't truely know you, but I love you. I think you are a real and genuine person. You do anything for your family and your "friends" deserving of the title are not. I don't feel you were controlling concerning the trip or not it was a girls trip if the "men" wanted a trip with their wives then they should have done it on their own timing. My other problem on the show and cont. to the reunion show was they claimed you made it out like they didn't work or have jobs. I didn't take it like that. They wanted to know about Donn not being there and all I heard was he had to work and that's why he wasn't there. I thought you were just answering the question but according to them apparently not.If anybody was controlling it was Simon and Jim hanging on by his coattails.

Watcher
Watcher

Vicki, I think your real problem is that you need to be in control of the other housewives, and when you're not, you get all nasty and insulting. You know when the husbands are there, you are not the dominate member. Relax. Learn to enjoy being one of the girls instead of the alpha female.

Aeneid
Aeneid

Vicki, you rock! You once were not my favorite because you were nasty to Don and others, but you realized it and corrected it, which shows you are honest and a good person.

shopgirl11
shopgirl11

Vicki after watching the last show, I saw how Tamara pulled you into her Drama. Vicki you are a strong willed successful person who cares about her friends. Please do not allow Tamara to use you up emotionaly. Her behavior on the last episode showed just how much she wants attention by playing up the victim role.

Lisa   NY
Lisa NY

Hey Vicki, I've been watching your show since the first season, guess you can considered me a fan. The way I always saw it, was like watching Judge Judy, better you than me.......I have enough problems....watching other people and theirs (problems) makes me feel better..ha. I never particularly cared for any of the wives until this season and went into your corner. I think you get a bad rap all around, mostly with the other wives and the way they edit the show. First....my take on the 'girls weekend', I think they were way out of line with everything, especially Tamara, you had every right to be upset. But after reading the other posts here's a new take on it. I think those other husbands just want more exposure on the show...;-)......especially Slade and the new Mr. Husband Know it All. And how would Tamara like it if you took your husband on the San Fran trip. Think it's also funny how Tamara goes to you with her husband problems then makes it seem like you were intruding on her life. She should get over herself......women like her are a dime a dozen. In closing Vicki.......more power to you......as I always say... girl power.....girls rule!!! And I'm an older girl!!!

keky
keky

What can I say.....you are sooooo right!!! Girls trip those men had no reason to be on that trip!!!

Monica
Monica

Vikki, I feel so sorry for you, and completly understand how you felt. I do feel that it was wrong for the trip that you had planned for you an your friends ended up being a trip for them and their partners/ husbands. A bit unfair to you, after all the effort and planning you had spent to make it a fun trip. i did not like the girls talking and laughing about you behind your back, when really they were there because of you, you had the idea and you extended the invitation, and after doing that for them you get that. So unfair. Those women are really not friends especially Tamara, do not like her, she is not a true honest friend. In all honesty the only wive in the show that has her life better than all of them is you! Just focus on your daughter and on strenghthening the relationship that you have with your sweet husband. And dont be as shallow as the rest of the wives. Gretchen is more down to earth than the rest of the girls, and so far I have not seen her back stab any of you guys. But you never know. I believe you are also the classiest, you dress nicely and not to over the top or slutty. Go Girl!!Prove them girls that you have a stronger of a foundation in your family and marriage then all of them in your relationship.

julissa
julissa

I'm so sorry that you didn't have a good time with the girls! The husbands shouldn't have showed up especially slade I just don't like him at all. jim and simon are allright! So how is life treating you now?

Lindadp
Lindadp

Well Vicki I think you were right to feel uncomfortable when the men showed up. Whats wrong with a girls weekend. I wish I could do it more often. My husband loves it, it gives him a weekend to himself. And he appreciates me more when I get home. I thought you were very polite and gracious to everyone. They were the rude ones inviting the men when it was a girls weekend. I think you need to find friends that appreciate you for who you are, a fun beautiful woman. You handled it like a lady.

SandyTucson
SandyTucson

Vicki, you are an inspiration to all. Your Husband is truely amazing. As i love to watch this show, you have such a positive attitude & work & family ethic. What is with the comment from viewer1234 i didnt know "anyways" was okie slang.. I am from Arizona not an okie and say anyways. some people are so petty.Love Love you

Vicki from NC
Vicki from NC

From one Vicki to another BOOO to those girls (minus Lynne). A good girls trip is always welcome and they need to check their controlling husbands at the door. What wimps not to tell you they invited their husbands on YOUR trip. You did exactly what I would have done. Tammra most of all saw your upset and really did nothing, especially not be a friend. Cheers to a healthy marriage!!

tquigs
tquigs

if i were you vicki i would have been pissed and upset too. girl's night means girls. women who can't travel and spend time apart from their men have serious issues. we see how well it work for tamra w/ simon. slade showing up uninvited and unplanned was so rude.

Julia M.
Julia M.

Vickie,

As a strong, independent like yourself I just don't understand women who cannot spend a few days alone with their girlfriends. I guess you and I are the lucky few who found confident men who trust us to have fun with our girlfriends without their "supervision". I feel like some of the husbands of the other wives treat them like children, and I will never understand that.

Sorry you had such a bad time, but I know you will move forward. You are a strong person and independence is not a bad thing.

Sincerely,

Julia

P.S. I'll have a girls night out with you anytime. You seem like tons of fun. ;)

pjaygirl
pjaygirl

Vicki, I felt bad for you on the "girls" trip. I would have felt the same way. You plainly told them that men were not invited, but most of them can't seem to do anything without their husbands. Of course, I did see that Gretchen and Lynne didn't invite their men, even though Slade showed up I think he came along with the others thats all. Those guys are all controlling, you have the best husband of them all.

Young momma20
Young momma20

Vicki You really inspired me. I am 20 years old and Im glad to see that Don and you are trustworthy to let eachother have your own time. I am 20 and I have a controlling boyfriend. I wish that Tamra and the other girls would try to make a change for all the other women watching the show and seeing how couples should be trustworthy and not controlling. It really hurt me to see the other women being controlled. Because I feel because of you, I can change things. I shouldnt be locked up in my room 24/7. Its time to get out and be free. Love from another Vicky (ME)

dcinlp
dcinlp

Vicky,

I watched and CRIED..:( Your ceremony was sensational! Watching Donn get so emotional over you, says how much you and yours kids mean to him.

carolc.
carolc.

vicki it was good to see you and donn renew your vows in such a lovely place. glad to see you did not let simon jim and snake ruin your extra days in florida. i think slade has no room to talk about you wanting the attention for yourself when he can't seem to not be out of the camera's view. you just show slade and simon you are better than them by not letting them get under your skin.

clowery
clowery

Dear Vicki -

Like many have stated, I agree with your 100%!!!!! If you said it was a girl's trip and other husbands wanted to go, the ladies should be up front and should have stated their controlling husbands won't let them go vs. chickening out and bringing them along. A girl's trip is a girl's trip. Were they kidding to say you should still go on the boat and have fun with the other couples? Obviously if it was a couples trip you would have taken your husband and had a great time. I felt bad for you since you are the one who planned this originally for the girls. As far as you hearing the comments that were said on the show when you weren't there....take it in stride. I am sure we all would experience the same thing if we saw our own lives on national t.v. I bet some of the others have felt the same with possibly some of the statements you have made as well (that is not a slam, it is just reality on all of us aren't perfect and do and say things that can hurt people and get caught in the moment). I could tell Tamara was truly hurt and felt torn about how to react to everything.

Micheke Kronberg
Micheke Kronberg

Vicky you and Don have the best marriage.Could not believe other wives would not go without men!How boring!My friends and I go for girls only weekends.The other women dont know what they missed.We all think Don rocks,and feel sorry for the rest of the women with their controlling men!

DH
DH

Vicki you rock - and I'm behind you 100%. If you plan a girl's weekend that's exactly what it should be "girls." How disappointed you must have been. And Tamara trying to get you onto that Sunset Cruise was outrageous. The couples all paired off and were kissing and hugging. How uncomfortable you would have been. Just like poor Lynn was. You made the right choice by staying at the hotel. These women are married to controlling men who don't want them out of their sight but that's the life they chose and perhaps enjoy. Whatever works for you - Be Happy!

viewer1234
viewer1234

As smart as you seem to be I'm surprised to see you use such okie slang as "anyways."

Deeva mom
Deeva mom

I think it was very wrong the way the other girls treated you. You are a real lady. I agree with the person who said that they all are just interested in hanging on for the money. Your are very independent woman and I really loved the last episode where you and your spouse renewed your vows that is real love and committment. The other spouses are obviously insecure and see their wives as property to rule over and not wives who can think independently and still be committed to the relationship. Keep being yourself and enjoy your life.

Charlie girl
Charlie girl

Hate what the girls did to you...You were smart not get on that boat,,.Look how they ignored Lynne with their PDA & all..I just read the comments & I see I'm not the only one who thinks the men are threaten by you...I already wrote in detail in A prior mes. hope you read it...Now I want to say where do you shop for clothes?..you and Gretchen have the best style of all the girls?.

realestategal
realestategal

Vicki I fully support you on this. I go on "girls trips" all the time and if all the husbands showed up I would have been pissed! Not because I don't like my friends husbands but because it totally changes the dynamic of the trip. We don't do anything bad, we shop, lay by the pool, shop, eat out and have martini's, shop and sleep in. I understand that some couples are not comfortable with seperate trips and that is totally fine with me. BUT if the girls couldn't do a "girls trip" they should have not gone.

suzie
suzie

you are a GREAT role model to women! I just turned 31 and i hope to emulate your success in work and your relationship. A girls only trip is healthy! there are some things you just can't talk about to your girls when there are men around. these girls need to open their mind and become more independent. stay just the way you are vickie!!

sarita
sarita

hay vikki, forget about all your cast mates. dont pay them any attention. they are all loser ladies who need men to take care of them and they think that that is success. your are the most successful one and the one with the best personality and your bluntness is much appreciated. i guess what they like is all that two faced crap. love watching you. i even got teary eyed on your wedding, absolutely beautiful and i could feel the love. congratulations, you two are so lucky to have found each other. i hope you have a life long time of happiness.

CAP
CAP

If I had planned a girls weekend and I turned into the 7th wheel, I would be livid. You handled it with class, I'm not sure I could have done the same. It makes me feel very lucky that I have a husband who respects girl time and best friends who would never dream of ruining a girls weekend that way. Keep being you, you're fabulous.

shavon
shavon

Vickie I am not your biggest fan but when I saw this episode I was outrage. You planed a girl's weekend an the ladies brought their men along. That was unfair then to sit around and talk about you like you where the problem was also dead wrong. You might want to rethink your friendship with these people! Now had the men came and did their own thing like the ladies said they would that would have been okay but to intrude on a trip you planned was rude and disrespectful You had the right to feel the way you did.

Jill OHIO
Jill OHIO

Vicki, YOU WERE SOOOO RIGHT in Florida!! That was YOUR trip, you planned and invited the girls, the men crashed the party. I've been in that situation more than once and it makes me so mad when I am excited about some "girl time" and I arrive and there are husbands and even kids there! I was also mad at every comment they were all making to make you feel better, they were missing the point completely!! I wanted to throw up when Slade said "do you want me to sit by you?" You weren't sad because Don wasn't there, it was because NO MAN was supposed to be there!! "GIRLS NIGHT MEANS "GIRLS NIGHT!"

YM
YM

I am a fan of the show and never miss an episode but I have never really felt the need to comment on any of these blogs until now. I'm all about spending time with my honey but taking your husband or boyfriend on a girls trip?! I mean c'mon, really?! Who does that?! I thought it was very disrespectful and rude to Vicky who planned the trip. If you can't go outside your house without your man then DON'T GO on a girls trip! Its been a couple of weeks since that episode aired and I still can't get over it!

matchbox patty
matchbox patty

You were COMPLETELY right on this one Vicki!Don't they understand what girls only means? If the women knew their husband's wouldn't let them go without having them attached at the hip, they should have declined the invite. I think you and Don have it right about marriage, you're devoted and commited to one another. but still let each other be their own person. I thought when you and Don renewed your vows it was so moving, and I'll bet the two of you will still be together when all the other trophy wives marriages are just a faded memory, pfffft! Good Luck!

Seriously?
Seriously?

After watching only 2 epidsodes of your "freak" show - I must say . . .I've never seen a group of adults act like such babies! Each of you act so "appalled!!!" when you find out someone else said somthing about you - behind your back. Hello? Your whole friggin' show is nothing but insecure and petty rich people trying to knock each other off their pedestals. However - the ladies of the OC have been an inspiration to me in a few ways (1) I've put the black eyeliner away as it is by far the worse accessory each of you can't seem to live without (2) to work even harder to treat the people who I encounter each day with respect. You are poor pathetic people.

Flavia
Flavia

Vick i agree with you 100% about the whole situation at Florida trip

It wasn't nice and honesty wath thw girls did to you> it is just not rigth i mean you invited them. In my opinion you and Don dont nedd people like them in your life and also they don't deserve your friendship!!! loves Flavia

Bluejay
Bluejay

Vicki,

I've read your blog and unlike most of the viewer's comments, I don't think you "took the high road" in the Girlfriend Weekend. The high road would have been joining the group, just as Lynn did. Instead, you showed your controlling manner by excluding yourself and making your friend, Tamra, uncomfortable. For Tamra's sake, if for no other, you should have joined the group. That's what we do for friends. That would be taking the "high road" even if you weren't happy with the situation. Tamra begged you to join them, and instead of considering her feelings, you displayed an attitude that says "if I can't have it my way, I won't play" which is childish, in my opinion.

In many ways, you are a "stong and confident" woman, but in just as many ways, you express a neediness and desire to control. An example is your need to have Tamra take your side against her husband, Simon. A true friend NEVER does that. You put Tamra in a position of having to defend her husband against your remarks, a very unfair position to be in. And, the look on your face when Tamra said it isn't true that Simon "looks" at you with "hate" in his eyes, or that she "has your back" spoke volumns. In response, your hurt, tearful expression said, "You gotta love me MORE than Simon! I've gotta come FIRST before I'll believe you!" You didn't say those words, but it was clearly on your face. Your neediness must be deep-seated and you're probably not aware of it, but it is there. Perhaps, not many here will agree with me, but that's what I saw and I offer it, not to be mean or hateful, but with the hope you recognize why you may leave a negative impression, and why your relationship with your lovely husband may have suffered in the past. I truly do wish you the best!

Blondemissy
Blondemissy

Hey Vicki from Texas...I am so sorry your girl's weekend was ruined by those snakes, Simon, Slade and Jim. These guys have to be so insecure. They are really pathetic. Maybe if these guys had some friends of their own, they wouldn't constantly have their noses stuck up their wives behinds. I think all three of them are slimeballs. You had every right to be upset and angry. I was upset and angry for you! I think it was very disrespectful of all of them. If I were you, I would have to question these ladies friendship, as they obviously only care about their feelings and totally disregard yours. You have become my favorite housewife, and I believe that you and Don are the only normal couple on the show.

Viewersheila
Viewersheila

I think you made to big a deal out of the guys comming on the trip, you could have hung out with lynn and made the best of it. you also need to stay out of other peoples relationships and just be a good friend and try listening to others when they speak,i know that you are a strong woman but not all women are like you. so you need to back off at times and feel the situation out before you speak.

Emily  14
Emily 14

Vicki! I totally agree with you that it is healthy and well deserved to have a girls get away. Any one that argues or can't seem to handle that is not healthy and co-dependent! I thought they turned it around to try and make you into the bad person but really you were planning a girls trip and they had no respect for this. They should have stayed home if they couldn't leave their man for a couple days. Good Lord people! If we can't leave our spouses then we loose ourselves. I am taking a 10 day trip to Australia and then my hubby is taking a trip to Iceland with his friends. We will take trips together too. It is called life. It is difficult but important to remember we have an identity with out our spouse. thanks for being you!

MARI**
MARI**

HEY VICKI I DONT UNDERSTAND WHATS THE PROBLEM WITH SLADE AND GRETCHEN.. YOU PUT TO MUCH ENERGY INTO WHO'S SHE'S DATIING AND SO WHAT IF SHE WAS PAID TO TAKE CARE OF HER OLD MAN WHOS BUSINESS IS THAT AND BESIDES DIDN'T YOU ALL TAKE GRETCHEN TO LUNCH BEFORE HE DIED AND TRY TO TALK HER INTO GETTING MARRIED TO HIM ON HIS DYING BED.. SO SHE COULD HAVE THAT "SECURITY" THEN HE DIES , SHE MOVES ON AND YOU TALK CRAP .... YOU ARE THE OLDEST ONE OR AT LEAST YOU LOOK LIKE IT FOR THE GOSSIP GIRL STATUS !!! OH AND SO WHAT IF SIMON DOESNT LIKE YOU!!! NOT EVERYONE WILL WHO CARES LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU N YOUR FAMILY !!

ESB
ESB

Vickie,

You really need to find some new girlfriends. You need to find girlfriends that are willing to go out with you, without their husbands. It should not be that hard to go out for a while without their husbands. If they seen that it was making you cry, than they should have tried something to make you not cry. They knew from the beginning that you said GIRLS TRIP ONLY.

freaky fran
freaky fran

Vicki: From the very first episode, I liked you. then on the second one I hated you because you justed talked about everyone behind their backs. I can't believe that you and Tamara are even friends by the way you two treated each other. BUT, with the last few episodes, I am in your corner 100%. I really do still hate Tamara. A girls weekend is a girls weekend. No Men!!!. I would have just cancelled the whole trip with them. When Tamara had said that if you go on the cruise, no one would be coupling off I could have laughed. Of course they were going to couple off. I felt sorry for Lynne. How disrespectful they were to Lynne for ignoring her. I just loved your wedding. Now that is the Vicki I want to see every week.

bean
bean

vicky I agree with you ,girl out means no husbands boyfriends or kids , what were they thinking coming on a girls weekend /?? you are lucky to have don , he lets you be you , the other husbands seem not to have the trust to let the wifes be them self . they are very controlling of the wifes . jeana was saying how lucky you were all along . these ladies are clueless . you and lyn have sercure love with your husbands .

DubGirl
DubGirl

I agree with Vicki 100% about the Girls Weekend . No Men allowed should mean that ! BUT..I'm really torn about Vicki , I think she is the "Silent Queen Bee" in all this , I know it's all not "real", just made up TV , but what got me was ,she went to all the trouble of a "New Wedding" with Don , and He said Thank You for being my wife and she said "Your Welcome " ? She needs to come down off the High Horse , that Man of hers will be swept up in a heartbeat , he's a good man !!

Michelle Bell
Michelle Bell

Dearest Vicki,I cried with you on that episode.It was so wrong for Your so called friends to do any such thing to you. I think You are an Awesome, Strong, Independent Woman and im so sorry your feelings were hurt.You are an amazing woman and i wish you nothing but the best in life.Just know there are people that really love u in the real world i guess you can say!Dont sttop doing what u do and dont worry about how people feel about you!

Dawn frm Long Island
Dawn frm Long Island

Vicki, just wanted to say I did understand your point about the girls trip even though the husbands didn't but don't worry! I'm writing to tell you how very sweet and thoughtful it was for you to do the things that you did for your husband and your relationship!!! It was a totally positive step to try and repair some things is a long term marriage and to try and recreate that spark!So just wanted to say keep it up and you and your husband will be on the right track again stronger and closer then ever before! Marriage and relationships aren't easy and sometimes you grow apart because of work ect... and to realize that you would commit to that person again and love them again stronger and harder is a good thing as martha would say! So many more happy years!! Stay strong.

Mary H.
Mary H.

Vicki, I have always liked your sweet Don, beginning in the first season. He's such a pleasant, upbeat guy and what a great smile! But, after watching tonight's episode (1/7/09) I just ADORE him! What a good guy you have. It was so nice to see you surprise him with a vow renewal, new ring, letter and promise of a surprise trip. You could tell he was just delighted. Bravo to you for showering him with appreciation. I'm so proud for you guys. And hang on to that guy! He sure seems like one of the great ones!

myrene
myrene

keep your chin up, vicki. if the past few episodes have shown anything, it is that you and donn have by far the most loving, respectful, and healthy relationship of any on the show. the men view you as a threat because donn, unlike them, does not even attempt to control you and obviously respects you very much, both as a wife and an individual. they do not want their wives exposed to such a mutually supportive relationship nor to such an independent woman.

SMR
SMR

You are so lucky to have Donn for a husband. I am glad you realized it in time. He loves you and women would be lining up to walk in your shoes with Donn. I think you ruined the moment by announcing the ring was 1 and a half karats. Do you think Donn cared or needed to know that? I think you are going the right direction - spend time with your mushy husband. He's the best!!!