As I write this blog I am on a flight back from Madison, WI where I visited some friends over the weekend. It was refreshing to "hide" from Orange County and be still and quiet and remove myself from the stress that this season has brought to me. One night, we decided to watch this week's episode which I always get a few days prior to it airing. It gave me time to really think about my blog, what you all might think about this episode, and how this whole controversy has made me feel this season.
As I watched it, I felt those feelings all over again that I felt that day at Heather's luncheon. I'm sad and sorry that I lost my temper, yelled at Meghan and left early. I don't like yelling, I don't like being sad, and I don't like conflict. I took time out of my day to go see Heather's home in hopes to have a nice ladies day. Instead, I left crying and sad which is never what you want to do. When Meghan called me "old" at the lunch table, I was shocked. I am 53 years old, and I believe with age comes wisdom, knowledge, and a lot of life lessons. I must be close to her mother's age and if any of my children's friends spoke to me the way she does to her elders, I would be shocked. There is zero respect with her and I have to believe there is much more behind her disrespectful behavior than we know about.
I am "normally" a calm happy person, however this constant needling me about Brooks' cancer and his choice of treatment is really wearing on me. This is such a new territory for me, to constantly have to talk about and defend someone that I love who has cancer is unbelievable. I grew up in the Midwest and where I come from if a family member or someone close gets diagnosed with cancer the community comes together, starts prayer chains, and delivers CASSEROLES. Instead of compassion for Brooks, I got attacked and questioned about the existence of his cancer. What I want to clear up is that Brooks did not stop TREATMENT, he is doing an alternative treatment which does not include chemo and is actually working, thank God!
When Tamra called to tell me she was going to have a "sex party," she told me to wear something "sexy." Remember I had already left the luncheon when she announced the "theme's" party attire. She called me afterwards to tell me to wear something lacy and sexy, which I did. Tamra did not tell me that the ladies were buying wigs and dressing like they did. I had no idea it was a theme party, so hearing Meghan in her interview call me a "bitch" and flip me off because I didn't wear hooker clothes was shocking. I would never wear those type of clothes...never. Heather was wearing a red skirt and a black top, which was very nice, very conservative, and very age appropriate. Why didn't she say the same thing about her outfit? Again, Meghan is just being mean towards me and quite frankly I'm tired of it.
When I had the conversation with Jim at Tamra's party about Meghan staying out of Brooks' health business, over and over he reconfirmed to me that "Meghan did not say he doesn’t have cancer"...so then why is she continuing to talk to me about this? Why is it any of it her concern what treatment plan he is doing? So if this constant conflict and needling me is about his decision to discontinue chemo, that is HIS choice and not mine or hers. It is ignorant, immature, and naïve of Meghan to think chemo is the only option to treat cancer. It's Brooks' decision and his decision only on what he wants to do, and quite frankly it is something he doesn't even want me talking about with the ladies. I told Brooks if it was brought up again, I would not discuss it and I am honoring his wishes. It's nobody's business but his own. Personally I think they didn't have any controversy this year so they targeted Brooks again. If you notice this season, you haven't seen much of him. He's tired of all the BS, doesn't want to film anymore, be around these toxic people, and quite frankly I don't blame him. He's trying to get healthy and cured and that's his primary focus.
I was shocked when Jim said he would march into his ex-wife's doctor's office and demand to see her medical records if anyone questioned her illness. Hasn't he heard of HIPAA? There are privacy laws in place, which protect people from obtaining personal medical records on other people for a reason. Unless Leanne had authorized Jim to pick up her records, it would be illegal for anyone to give them to him. That was such a crazy comment he said because it's not an option.
I am so glad that Shannon was with me while we were trying to talk to Meghan, however we weren't getting anywhere. It was like we were talking to a child saying "we aren't playing in this playground anymore" and she just wasn't going to listen to either one of us. Thank you Shannon for saying I had a right to be upset. I really appreciate that.
Meghan saying "you know me and I want justice" to Jim in the car was laughable. What justice does she want? Justice for what?? She is overstepping her boundaries and I've had it...enough is enough.
What I still don't understand is, what does his health care choice have anything to do with me or with them? What I'm trying to understand is why does this continue to be a topic of conversation with Meghan especially? Why? Does she not have enough going on in her own life that she can focus on? If she is so concerned about cancer treatments, maybe Meghan should go back to school and be an oncologist if she is so passionate about cancer treatments. That would be a better use of her time I think, don't you?
What you don't see is how Brooks has struggled with the decision to stop "traditional" medicine and go a more alternative route. It was a big decision, but one that I supported.
What you don't see are the struggles Brooks has gone through by making the decision to reveal this season that he even has cancer. He did NOT want to, and I told him it was a way for us to show how we can inspire others who have cancer and how couples can ban together during this time. I had no idea it was going to be the focus this season.
What you don't see is the new treatment he is doing is actually working. His blood levels are improving and he is feeling better.
What you didn't see are the numerous doctor visits and scans that Brooks has done, it has become a big part of his life to beat this cancer and it's working.
What you don't see are the night sweats, the high fevers, and the vomiting after his chemo treatments. What you don't see is how sick he was earlier this year from doing chemo.
What you don't see is Brooks asking me NOT TO TALK about his illness to the ladies. It's none of their business just like it's none of my business on any of their healthcare choices.
When I hear my friends saying my actions are "over the top"...I really think their actions are over the top. I feel like I am constantly on the defensive because I am being defensive. Their reactions are over the top and their comments are over the top. Does anyone really think that Meghan cares about Brooks treatment? She has met him twice and for her to focus this entire season on him is just bizarre. I don’t understand it.
Thank you Lizzie for trying to make sense of this chaos with Meghan. You saw Meghan for who she really is at the luncheon. You're right, she doesn't care about Brooks or I, so when you don't care about someone then stop talking about them. That's been my request every time she brings it up, and out of respect for me I've asked her to stop.
Lastly, Brooks juices one day a week for an entire day, which fuels his body with 25 lbs. of organic vegetables in one day. He believes that has a lot to attribute to how he is feeling as well. We are not saying juicing cures cancer, however studies have shown that it is a benefit to the overall health of the body to do so. I have actually been doing it at least one day a week and have never felt better. To learn more about juicing and one and the benefits of it for your health, go to www.clubdetoxoc.com for recipes and more information about healing your body from the inside out.
Thank you everyone for your love and support.