Vicki Gunvalson

As Shannon shares her marriage troubles with the group, Vicki lends her support.

on Jun 24

It was sad for me to see Shannon, who I care about so much, be in such a vulnerable and sad place in her life this episode. One thing that I have learned through my marriage issues is we as women have to be able to lean on others for support and in doing so, trust the ones that we share private information with be just that... private. Shannon learned the hard way -- that by sharing that intimate email with Tamra she had no idea what would happen from there.

Looking back seeing all this unfold, I truly believe that Tama did not mean any ill intent when sharing what she knew about Shannon's marriage to Heather. I don't think Tamra was gossiping to stir things up, I think she was merely telling Heather so possibly Heather would show compassion towards Shannon. Hindsight I know, Tamra feels that she probably should have kept is information private between themselves and she is sorry and remorseful. Tamra sharing the email that David wrote to Shannon with Heather was not probably one of the best moves to make considering Heather and Shannon's rocky relationship. I was disappointed that Heather shared this information with other women, as there was no reason to do that. Sometimes, things are best just left to be kept quiet and this is one of those times. I think Heather learned her lesson, too, and feels bad.

I didn't really understand this robo-baby that Tamra wanted to get with Eddie. It was clear to me that Eddie wasn't feeling the need or desire to have another child as Tamra's four are I'm sure enough for him to help her raise. Tamra is in her late 40s while Eddie is in his early 40s and has a very demanding and successful business that I just don't see having a baby will fit in their lifestyle. I just don't know if a robo-baby is a true depiction of what a real life baby will be like for both of them. I just know by having my grandson Troy around --they sure do keep you busy and that's why I believe we are best being younger parents where we have the time energy to devote 110-percent to raising them to be responsible and educated adults. Personally I don't think a baby is going to fill any voids Tamra is having by sharing custody with Simon. I think that shared custody she has with Simon gives Tamra and Eddie their alone time, which is what every newly married couple needs. By the way, happy 1st year anniversary this week to both of you. I wish you an amazing life-long marriage and thank you for allowing me to be a bridesmaid in your wedding last year. It was simply spectacular and it was a special day for all who attended as well.

I have encouraged both David and Shannon to fight for their marriage and not to give up. I have been their biggest supporter, because I believe once you think that there is no option to stay married -- it's a downhill spiral and divorce will be inevitable. I know how much Shannon loves David and I know she has seen some of the things she has done to push him away, but sometimes it takes a jolt like this to look at what YOU have done versus blaming the other one to be able to turn it around. I gave both of them the movie "Fireproof Your Marriage" which is an amazing movie on how to change your marriage in 30 days. If any of you are struggling in your marriage I encourage you each to watch it alone, and then reflect on it together. It's quite amazing when you commit to do anything to save your marriage, it can be. These simple tools in this book really help and it will and can be changed and saved if you want it to.

I feel I have learned so much from my marriage to Donn and what we both could have done differently to have saved it that it's my mission to educate others that are struggling. I told Shannon if I can help her and David stop the anger, the emptiness, the expectations, the picking at each other through my life experiences, then I feel I came into their life for a reason -- and not just a "season."

I decided to bring Brooks to annual trip to my condo in Puerto Vallarta for 10 days and we had a great time. My brother Billy and his girlfriend Rhonda came as well and David and Shannon a few days after we got there which you will see them arrive in next week's episode. One of my favorite things to do is to get a morning massage on the balcony of my penthouse. I can't believe the camera guys filmed me turning over and "blurred out my top part." They told me they turned their back towards me and weren't filming but obviously they were. Ugh... so embarrassing. Sorry about that as I had NOT expected that to air.

Brooks comment to me that he was "turned on" by holding my hand was nothing more than being sweet. Some of you may have found that inappropriate but it's flattering to me that he is attracted to me. Don't we all want to feel loved and reaffirmed that we are attractive? He's very complimentary to me and he always makes me know I'm important to him. This is one of the many things I enjoy about him. In my past relationships, I didn't have that and I have realized through counseling and many books that my love language is affirmation. Once you know your love language, it's easier to decide who you match up good with.

The five love languages are:

Physical touch
Affirmation
Acts of service
Gift giving
Quality time

I am not into PDA or public physical touch, but I am attracted by affirmation. Some people take affirmation as corny or weird, however I am attracted to it. David and Shannon and I had discussions about this in more detail next week, but for this weeks episode I thought I would touch on it.

I've got so many amazing things that I am working on right now. I am looking at moving to a new home with an ocean view, and if all works out... you will see that transition in a few months. But for now, I'm continuing to do what I do best which is building a solid insurance and retirement planning specialist company, being hired for speaking engagements all across the U.S., a new diamond line that will be on Amazon shortly and writing another book.

Don't forget to visit my site at CotoInsurance.com for any insurance information you may need including life insurance, health insurance, auto/home and business insurance. VickiGunvalson.com is my new and updated personal website so check that out, too, and let me know what you think.

Thanks for all of your support to me this season and I hope you are enjoying it so far.  Two more weeks and Briana will be due to have her baby, and I'll be heading back to Oklahoma to be with her for 10 days to help her out. My mother will be joining me as well, so it will be nice to have the four generations together to celebrate the birth of her new baby.

Wishing you all a safe and happy summer.

Love,
Vicki

Xoxo VickiGunvalson.com

Woo hoo!!