As I write this final blog, I am a crying mess. Briana and Ryan pulling out of Coto with baby Troy was one of the most difficult days of my life, and to relive it again on tonight's episode was a reminder that they may never be back to California.
Fortunately, we are able to FaceTime a lot, so that has been helpful, but it's never the same thing as being together. For those of you that have ever had a child move away, I'm sure you can relate. You know, you raise your kids to have "roots and wings." That's our job as a parent to let them GO -- but it doesn't mean it won't hurt. The problem is I always thought I would be able to be in Briana's children (my grandkids') life on a regular basis, which now isn't the case. All I can pray for is that they will one day be able to return to Southern California so we can all be near each other again. If not I'll be there supporting every decision they make with a smile and missing them with great big tears.
My life is so different without them near me, but the good thing is my career allows me to go see them often. Briana and Ryan are so happy together, so that makes it less painful knowing she is happy. Ryan is an amazing father and husband and that's all I could have hoped for my daughter. 'Although she really misses Orange County, I'm proud of her ability to do what she has to do for Ryan's career. 'Oklahoma is about a 20 hour drive and they are planning on coming back in the fall for a few weeks, which will be nice.
I was so proud of the way my house turned out for the Bali party. I have such an amazing team of professionals who were able to transform my home for, not only the party, but also full time! As you have seen, my interior was completely redone after Donn moved out, and I literally changed every room with the help of my decorator Leanne Michael. My florist Rebecca Salimpour always designs the most beautiful floral arrangements. Without them, my houes would never look the way it does. I am so proud of owning this home on my own. I have bittersweet thoughts about one day moving near the beach. I have such amazing great memories living where I am, but now that the kids are grown and I'm on my own, I feel like it's time for a change. I guess we will see what happens because any move would be contingent on the sale.
I was glad that Tamra decided to show up to my party and face the "music" as they say. We ended our Bali trip on such a bad note, that I really didn't know if she was going to show up or not.
Let's put it this way, although I don't agree with everything Tamra does, I want the best for her and don't want us to be fighting. But the truth of the matter is I don't agree with what she has done. I personally think Tamra steps way too much into people's business and I'm hopeful that she has learned a lesson. You can't go around talking crap on people and expect them not to compare notes. As I said -- I don’t really care if Tamra likes Brooks or supports our relationship -- but I do ask that she keep the bad mouthing to herself.
What hurt me the most is that if she was truly a friend of mine, she would have kept her mouth shut about some things that happened early on our relationship, and allowed my friends a chance to meet him and formulate their own opinion. Brooks is far from perfect. Yes, he has messed up -- but one of the most amazing things about him is he recognized it, gotten help for it, and has asked for complete forgiveness from me. We have all done things in our life that we regret and wish we could take back, and if people didn’t learn how to forgive it would be a different world. Interestingly enough, she has asked people to forgive her -- so I have asked her for the same respect to us that she wants for herself. Let's see how things go with us moving forward.
It was really great getting to know Shannon this year and despite all the drama in her life, it was good to spend time with her one-on-one in Bali. Despite all the issues with her, Tamra, and Heather, I am hopeful that we all can remain friends and "move on" as they say.
I think Shannon is a great person, she knows how to have fun, makes her family her top priority, and does whatever she can to make the necessary changes to keep her marriage intact. I'm proud of her.
Looking back this season, I felt bad about how I treated Heather at times. I am proud to call her my friend, and hate that I was part of any of her hurt. Heather definitely seems to manage her career and her four kids without looking too stressed out, which I really admire. She definitely seems to "have it all."
Lastly Lizzie -- although we started of on a rough note I really have come to like her a lot. She has a spitfire personality and I love a woman to can stand up to Tamra. (Or for that matter even me!)
I hope you enjoyed this Season 9 -- and there is still the Reunion and Secrets Revealed yet to air. I hope everyone is having a great summer, and thank you so much for your continued support this season. I'm really happy, despite all the changes that keep happening in my life. As I'm told quite often: "there's never a dull moment" when people are around me. I'm at a good place in my life, and enjoying travelling, building my insurance practice, and surrounding myself with positive people.
Don't forget to check out my website for my new book Let's Talk Money, free insurance quotes and information about my production company Woo Hoo Productions. Lots of fun things I'm always working on -- so stay tuned.