As much fun as Cabo was, when Jax decided to spill his truth about Tom and Ariana I felt like I needed a vacation from a vacation. It had been not only months, but years of the rumor circulating. As badly as I wanted to believe Tom and continue to brush it under the rug, my gut was telling me otherwise. I needed to get out of LA and spend time with my family. Everything had been so heavy over the summer. . .I knew I could go back to Michigan and have my mom help me trim the fat and lighten the load.
If Ariana was truly and only Tom's "friend," I felt she would have backed off and respect not only how I was feeling but what we were going through. I wish it had been Tom to be the one to back off and say that to her. At the end of the day, she wasn't my friend and really didn't owe me anything -- he did. But I hoped as a woman she would empathize with me. I knew it was a shot in the dark sending her those text messages but I was over her presence.
When I went back home to Michigan, I really missed Tom. I really wasn't prepared to leave him, as I said I was. I was still holding on to what we had so tightly. I had hoped that we could start over. I was trying to take it day-by-day, and he spent every day that I was gone reassuring me that he loved me, and we would make it out of this on top. That's all I had really wanted from Tom the entire time -- reassurance, honesty, and to feel the love back that I had for him.
I get that Katie and Stassi somewhat knew my relationship, but only Tom and I knew what it was like behind closed doors. All of my emotion over the summer wasn't coming from a place of hatred. On the contrary, it came from a place of intense, passionate love that was darkened by insecurity.
When Tom finally admitted the hookup with Ariana, it was a huge weight lifted off of (I think) both of our shoulders. I had one of two choices: leave him or try to work through it. At that time, I did ask him to try couple's therapy so we could get to the root of the cheating and lying. He wasn't willing but again, after five-and-a-half years of being together, I didn't want to let go. I kept reminding myself of why we started dating and what I loved so much about my best friend that I was blinding myself from all of the damage done.
After all of the s--- talking by Ariana, all of the "Kristen is crazy" for believing the rumors, and her even having the audacity to say I possibly made up the rumor it was like -- FINALLY the truth was out. If she were a good person at all, a simple apology and a few steps back would have been somewhat sufficient and, dare I say, mature. I don't have to sit here and throw anymore stones her way because it's obvious what kind of person she is.
I felt really alone the night at SUR when I confronted Ariana. I can understand why Katie and Stassi were emotionally and mentally drained from dealing with my Tom drama, but to suddenly befriend the girl who my boyfriend had cheated with and give me the cold shoulder? And for Tom to still have her back when I was that upset? I just felt alone.
Watching the episode back, what really blew my mind about Stassi was how she constantly expects everyone of her friends to drop the world for her, but is so quick to throw her friends under the bus. So much shade was thrown my way for talking to Lisa about Ariana working at SUR, but it's acceptable for Stassi to tell Lisa to fire me? My entire summer last year was spent dealing with the Stassi/Jax saga, but when I go through it with Tom -- I'm the a--hole. I couldn't begin to imagine befriending a girl that Jax cheated on her with. A lot of the pot calling the kettle black and Stassi was living in Stassi's world.