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Captain Lee on Emile's Pickup Lines

Captain Lee weighs in on Rocky and Emile's disastrous date. 

By Lee Rosbach

Observations from the Bridge

OK, here we are into the second half of our third charter of the season, and we have already lost one crewmember to self-destruction. And it’s so early in the season, and it scares the hell out of me. Not going to dwell on Don, that ship left the dock, so it’s done; nothing more to say on it. Moving on.

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The Crew Reacts to Don's Departure

Amy, you and Kate did hit it out of the park this week, and my bad for not acknowledging that at the tip meeting. You guys deserved more recognition for the work you did and I dropped the ball. That being said, I thought the advice and instruction you tried in vain to depart to Rocky was great. Too bad it fell on deaf ears. I do appreciate your efforts; I just wished they had been received better. You did a great job this week and as usual, made it look effortless, sign of a pro.

Kate, it was another outstanding charter for you and Dean. Who would have thunk it? The way you had everything under control was masterful in my opinion, and it showed. Your advice and diplomacy with Don was spot on, well done. The theme party came off really well, and you tried to compliment Chef, but again, his grace and sophistication showed through. You also win the award for best line of the charter, when getting ready for the dive competition, “I’ll do what you want, but I’m not messing up my hair.” Loved it. Well done.

Leon, you really do not like it here, do you? Lets see, you think that we got our guests out of a halfway house. But you did accept their two grand, yes? You really haven’t worked on charter yachts much have you? Went through a season of crew insulting guests once, that’s not going to fly at all. It’s all harmless fun, roll with it. Lighten up a bit. Lose the wedgie. Sorry we don’t measure up to your level of sophistication sir. Oh, and along those lines, usually Bon Appetite is French for “enjoy your meal” and is normally delivered at the beginning of the meal, not the end. Surprised that someone with your level of sophistication didn’t know that already. Great food again, but not sure what the future will hold if your attitude doesn’t improve. I hope it does, hate to see such talent wasted on little things that don’t really matter.

Eddie, we did have a couple of things happen this charter that I wasn’t overly pleased with. Main one being the towline getting wrapped up in the props. But at least it wasn’t too expensive, and both you and Emile knew why it happened and I felt it was a one-time thing, not so bad. Your guys really nailed it on the docking this time. Really had it together, nicely done. Looks like you may have some rough domestic waters in store for you, pal. I don’t envy you, and hope you get through it without too much damage, and that it doesn’t affect your work. I thought overall you and your crew did a good job picking up the slack that was left when Don departed. Kudos to you and your crew.

Eddie's Girlfriend Cheated on Him?!

Connie, you had another great second half. Your dry sense of humor and honest assessment of situations cracks me up. You’re fitting in well on board and pulling your weight on deck. Job well done. I do sense that you are just waiting to cut loose, once given the chance though. Anticipation, right?

OK, now for the main attraction and we will take them one at a time, because I couldn’t handle them both at the same time.

Emile, thanks for being a team player and doing the toga thing for the theme party. Know it made you uncomfortable, but you sucked it up and got through it. But, really? Rocky bats her eyes at you and tells you how turned on she is and “boom” you forget you even have a toga on? So I give you permission to take her off the boat for dinner and you’re getting fashion advice from Leon, Mr. Personality. OK. Buts what’s with the smooth line you utter walking down the dock, “I need to fart.” Seriously?

And the pickup lines you espoused at dinner. “I don’t date, I mate” and “Wine, dine, and 69.” Then you proceed to drink so much that even your mouth won’t work well, much less anything else. The only thing you were going to get that night with those lines was older and around. Sorry pal, but not the proper behavior suitable for a gentleman. I guess I’m just old school, but if that behavior gets me into a women’s good graces, I guess that’s not the type of women I want to be out with. Other than your obvious lack of social graces and the towline incident, I thought that you had a fairly strong second half charter. Worked hard, picked up the slack, no complaining and great job on the docking. All in all not bad sir.

Emile and Rocky's Painfully Awkward Date

Rocky, great dive to take home all the marbles. Well done, and good job on the mermaid deal at the aft deck cocktail party. Now if we could get you to channel some of that energy into your stewardess duties, I would be happy. I know Amy and Kate would be as well. Amy really went out of her way to help you out and all you could think of was, “Oh, so much work.” Did someone not tell you that this was a job and there was work involved? That’s why you get paid, and get that great tip at the end.

Mermaids and Greek Gods Come to 'Below Deck'

Let’s get to the date. You calling Emile “young and immature” even if true, is like the pot calling the kettle black. Wasn’t that you that went into his bunk for a massage, uninvited? Let’s see, you don’t want him to drink too much, you need him to, as you put it, last all night. Then order a bottle of wine, him a whiskey, and then shots and you act surprised that he’s having difficulty at the end of the evening. That being said, he should be able to handle himself and know his limits, so not all on you, but you certainly did get an assist on that. What was the term you used, whiskey dick? Seen that before have you? Why do I not think that you curling up in a fetal position on the aft deck was not a new experience for you. Oh and then we have the new deckie and let the games begin, right? Do you have a girlfriend? Hmm do I think that really matters to you? I guess we will have to find out. I hope so.

Well, I guess that about does it for me. Dean and his guests were happy and that is the goal we set out to achieve. Boom, done. For the most part the team pulled together, and the ones who didn’t know who they are and what’s expected in the future, so until next time, fair winds and following seas, mates.

From the Bridge,
Capt. Lee

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