The ever “relatable” Jennifer Lawrence is so so so so normal.
"Nor·mal: ˈnôrməl/ the usual, average, or typical state or condition," states the dictionary. We do not seem to be talking about the same person.
But we get it. She blurts things out! Whoa! She drinks Bourbon! Weehaw! She loves an outdoor fireplace! She worships her dog! She’s so cool…and so regular!
Except she’s not.
In a new Vogue cover story, J. Law drinks Old Grand-Dad Bourbon, a "nod to her Kentucky roots," in a rental home in the Hollywood Hills, where she’s ripped out all the crystals the actual owner of the home has carefully placed everywhere, because she’s “not a crystal person.” That's obnoxious, not normal.
“It’s a warm evening in Los Angeles, and Lawrence and I are alongside a fire pit in the backyard of a Mediterranean-style home high in the hills, where the air smells of flowers, money, and the negligible carbon burned thoughtfully by electric cars. The chaos of Hollywood feels a zillion miles away,” is how the atmosphere is described.
I don’t live near a place that smells like money, do you? When I walk outside it kind of always smells like hot garbage. Anywhoo. On we go.
She’s had an oil painting of her dog, Pippi, made, which hangs above the fireplace in the rental. Fine, we’ll give her that. That’s pretty great.
Here’s where it gets not so regular. “Regular” people, in their downtime, like to think we'll get some exercise, maybe see some friends, but really what we do is watch TV and order disgusting food and lie around on the couch waiting for death to come and get us. All while we worry about family, and love, and health, and money. Except Oprah. Oprah doesn’t do that. She’s on a mission. The rest of us, we’re basic bitches. But for Jennifer, sitting around is a sin.
“Lawrence laughs,” says the story, as if her laugh is the most magical laugh in all the land. “She almost never does this: sit around, watch the fire, do not much of anything. At 26, Lawrence is already one of the most successful and exalted actors on the planet. She’s a four-time Oscar nominee and Best Actress winner, who simultaneously built a history-making franchise while costarring in another.”
Exalted? It means superior, lofty, elevated. That’s not regular. Regular is walking down the street and no one cares. Regular is bumping elbows with the hoi polloi and standing in line at Trader Joe's waiting for that annoying bell to ring so you can check out and go home and eat your microwaveable mac n' cheese bowl or whatever it is that gets your Trader Joe's juices flowing.
“Lawrence herself has said that this is her metabolism, that she can’t stand the idea of ‘waking up with nothing to do or going to sleep without accomplishing anything.’”
Really? It’s so fun, you should try it. It’s kind of zen to do nada for a whole 24 hours except lie flat in bed like you are in a hospital room, bingeing a TV show until you feel like your eyeballs are going to fall out and your breathing has nearly flatlined.
“By now, you’ve probably read a thousand things about how Jennifer Lawrence is just like the rest of us, how she is exactly the kind of Hollywood non–head case you’d want to chill at a fire and share reasonably priced bourbon with. This is true…It’s easy to forget you’re in the company of someone now hailed as movie-industry royalty—a description that will surely cause Lawrence to draw a finger to her mouth and make the barf sign,” the interview says. “Lawrence’s normality is one of her signatures, so much so that the singer Ariana Grande spoofed it on a Saturday Night Live ‘Celebrity Family Feud’ sketch with an impression.”
Normal, normal, normal!
“That’s what other people have said,” the actress tells the mag, adding, “If I’d said, ‘I’m a regular person,’ I’d want to kill myself.”
She discusses her new movie, Mother!, directed by her now boyfriend Darren Aronofsky, 48, who calls her talent “raw and natural.” No denying that. But then we get to the brave part. Somebody get her a helmet, she's going to war!
“She’s a very brave actress with no boundaries and doesn’t need to be hurt in order to create pain,” says her costar Javier Bardem, adding that Lawrence has the “strength of a bull. . . . She’s truly committed to go as far as needed,” says the magazine.
And she watches TV like no regular person. A lover of reality shows, the crew of her new movie built a special "Kardashian tent" for her to take breaks in during filming.
“Wanting to protect Lawrence’s well-being amid that darkness, some of the Mother! crew assembled a ‘Kardashian tent’ for the actress off set—a refuge where she could get away from the work and decompress with her chatty friends from reality TV.
“It was a tent that had pictures of the Kardashians and Keeping Up with the Kardashians playing on a loop—and gumballs,” Lawrence says. “My happy place.”
(“I wasn’t involved in that,” says Aronofsky. “I was like, ‘What are you talking about, ‘the Kardashians?’ ”)
As for their relationship, all Jennifer would say is that the two “had energy” and that he is a great father to his child with Rachel Weisz.
“We had energy,” Lawrence says, then adds drily: “I had energy for him. I don’t know how he felt about me.”
“When I saw the movie, I was reminded all over again how brilliant he is,” she says. “For the past year, I’ve been dealing with him as just a human…I’ve been in relationships before where I am just confused. And I’m never confused with him…I normally don’t like Harvard people, because they can’t go two minutes without mentioning that they went to Harvard…He’s not like that.”
Kind of like people always saying you’re regular?
Then there’s her other love, Amy Schumer. The Untitled Jennifer Lawrence/Amy Schumer Project is still in the works—the two wrote a movie together where they play dysfunctional sisters. The two are currently meeting with directors.
“She’s the funniest person I’ve ever met,” Lawrence tells the mag of Schumer. “She’s also an amazing dramatic actress, which I want to bring out.”
Schumer's response is the best.
“Jen is funny like a comic. She understands the rhythm of a joke and how to play both the straight man and the idiot. She has one of the darkest senses of humor I’ve ever encountered and it’s delightful. My only problem with her is that she’s fat.”
Some more highlights about her regular-ness follow throughout the piece.
“I always kind of compare her to Michael Jordan.”
“In 2015 and 2016, Forbes placed her at the top of its list of highest-paid actresses.”
“She took a summer trip to Paris for the couture shows and a photo shoot as a face of Dior, a label partner she loves but an environment that still feels surreal to her.”
“By now, you’ve probably read a thousand things about how Jennifer Lawrence is just like the rest of us, how she is exactly the kind of Hollywood non–head case you’d want to chill at a fire and share reasonably priced bourbon with.”
Make that 1,001.
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