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Are We Done With Unicorns Yet? Because Now Someone's Selling Gin Made From "Unicorn Tears"
Is unicorn gin just going too far?
The Internet is a beautiful place. Or, at least sometimes it is. Obviously there are also times where it’s a creepy Tim Burton-esque fun house filled with nightmares and terror—but we’re talking not talking about those parts of the Internet. We’re talking about the fun, creative, and colorful parts of it. The parts that make you think, “Wow, people do some incredible things!”
Take unicorn-themed foods for example. The Internet LOVES making unicorn-themed foods. If baseball is America’s pastime (is it still?) then creating food concoctions that have been color-blasted and glitterized into oblivion is the Internet’s pastime. And we’re not belittling it. People make some amazing unicorn-inspired treats.
Take “Unicorn Noodles” for example:
Has CABBAGE ever looked more fun? Of course not. Cabbage has never even come within spitting distance of fun. Now, it’s a vegetable with magical blue and purple powers.
Or this enchanting “Unicorn Hot Chocolate:”
You get the idea: unicorn stuff is bright, colorful, and adorable. So when we heard about Unicorn Tears Gin Liqueur we were pumped. Just look at this description from Firebox, the company behind the fabulous product: “A mythical spirit made from the tears of humanely raised Unicorns,” the drink is made from “real unicorn tears with sublime glittery finish.” With that description fresh in our mind, we adjusted the brightness on our monitors and prepared for our eyelids to be blown away.
And well, they weren’t exactly. Because, at least in certain photos, Unicorn Gin Liqueur kind of just looks like gin. And gin looks like a colorless, clear liquid. To be fair, gently shaking the bottle makes the silver sparkles swirled into the concoction much more apparent:
That's better. But it still doesn’t visually blow you away the way other unicorn-themed products have. (The bottle's kind of cute, though.)
Have we become so acclimated to crazy-colorful over-the-top unicorn foods that anything less is a disappointment? And if so, it's a sad, sad world we live in.
Our hope, however, is that what it lacks in appearance it may make up for in taste. Liquor.com reports the flavors of the spirit include “sweet notes of candied oranges and maple syrup with spicy elements from juniper berries and cardamom.” Yum.
You can find out yourself by ordering a bottle of the UK-based spirit online, or, if you don’t feel like paying for shipping, by catching your own unicorn and harvesting its tears. Humanely, of course.
Just watch out for the horn.