Don't Get It Twisted!

Don't Get It Twisted!

Find out why Michael isn't so in love with Ariel. Plus, his fave moments of the episode.

Let me get straight to the point. I don’t like Ariel. I used to overlook his grossly inappropriate, juvenile and offensive comments about ugly and fat people. I used to just listen to his insane overrated sense of purpose and know in the back of my head that this is just an insecure formerly overweight child trying to act like an adult. I thought that it was the right thing to do, to support him at his fashion show and put aside our bitch fighting because we were friends. I also thought I would stop pointing out in each episode blog how stupid he really is, because it’s already so embarrassing.

Ariel is really proud of himself because he thinks he pulled off showing us how he can anything he wants to do. And like I said in last night's episode, I was really proud of him for pulling it off, but it was complimenting his avid use of smoke and mirrors.

First of all, who the hell hires a lead designer to make their first ever collection? No one. Because that’s not how it’s done. It would be like me hiring a writer to do my blog (which I suspect Ariel has done because not for one minute could he quote Shakespeare.)

That is the most horrible thing. That you say you are designing a line of dresses and bathing suits and all you have really done is paid some underpaid hungry want to be designer money to make some clothes based on some vague ideas and pages of other people's work you pulled out from a magazine. This you think, is a good example to aspiring fashion designers watching Miami Social? This you think is a good example of how Miami works? This is how you lead by example? This is how you present the city to a national audience?

I mean, watching last night my jaw dropped. There is Katrina in what I swear was the worst dress I have ever seen (it looked like Lina got out her knives too and it looked like something Lina might wear to her secondary job) standing with a crumpled piece of paper in her hand with some BS speech and then she announces that she is actually not wearing a dress designed by Ariel (um, at his own show that she is announcing!) but by that of his lead designer. WHAT ??? WHAT ???? WHAT ????

This is what I mean by smoke and mirrors, if you aren’t paying attention to the details you get caught up in that clap track.

His comments aren’t funny.

Here are a few that have irked me:

“My business plan is actually mathematical in numbers…”

“Doctors are like dentists, right?”

“Bill Gates the Macintosh guy,

”Get the fat girl out of table”

“Hardy I admire you, you even talk to ugly people”

I don’t want friends like this in my life. We all need friends to elevate our minds, be kind and respectful and be there for us on screen and off screen.

When Ariel stops living a life of dillusion and starts acting like an adult,  I’ll think about catching up with him. Until then, girl it’s ‘ova.’

Now let me get on with what was hot, hot, hot this week:

- Lina asking George: “Do you think I’m a liar?” Um, yes? I mean WTF you crazy bitch! You ran around Miami telling people you had an abortion so you could get George's attention? Are you kidding me? And then you go in the bedroom to screw away your problems? Just like that? Like saying you had an abortion and didn’t is so low down dirty. Trixia got it just perfectly when she asked Hardy, “What the f*ck is wrong with that girl?”

- Sad: When Trixia explained her miscarriage. I got upset there for a minute because this is a girl who really does want babies. I know I have poked fun at the way she demands them from Hardy as if he could pick up a few at the nightclub, but deep down inside, she was in pain and she shared. -

Inner Whore: That guy at the club thought I was straight and a swinger? When I brought him over to Katrina, he said, “Your boyfriend wanted me to meet you...” Then Katrina replies, “He plays for the other team…” But if Katrina wanted a threesome, I’d be down for uh, watching…

Don’t go there with me about the t-shirt. It’s a Sonia Rykiel number and I love her stuff.

- Date with Diego: Not so much, huh. First of all I was freaking mortified we were wearing the same outfits, How freaking awful is that? I mean WTF??? This is one problem being gay – looking the same is a freaking nightmare. I’m sorry I am never going on a date again without knowing what the other guy is wearing.

- Grossest Moment of Miami Social Yet: Ariel telling us he is a ‘tiger’ in bed. Now that is vomit-inducing.

- Offensive moment of last night: Ariel asking me if Diego has a “green card?” Like, how rude? And I tend to bet that 99% of the guys he sleeps with don’t have a green card.

- Best Line of The Night: When I was talking about the ‘collection’: “Maybe you can pull that bull*hit on Katrina, but don’t try it with a Queen!” YOU HEARD ME!

- That moment of startling reality. I really am losing my hair. Well, semi lost now, because I dabble with some changes. We will get into it next week.

Speaking of the season finale, brace yourselves. It’s dramatic. You may need a tissue box. I want to thank you all for reading this blog and being fans of the show. I read all of your comments and they are amazing and kind.

Until next week,


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