There's been an increasing number of female celebs married to men who come out later with some variation of being not completely straight.
Is this happening more these days?
Tanya Koifman, LCSW, is a New York City-based psychotherapist, specializing in working with the LGBTQ+ community. She told Personal Space she's not surprised by the trend.
"There are a lot of folks who seem to be surprised by the fact that many people who are male/female coupled (especially those who are married) are not necessarily straight," she said. "I think that the question that we might want to ask ourselves is: Why did I just assume that both of those people (in the relationship) are straight in the first place? Why am I viewing relationships with a cis/het lens?"
"The person or people that someone is in a relationship with at a given moment, does not dictate or paint any kind of clear picture of their sexual orientation. Only that person knows what is in their mind and heart with regard to what kind of people (if any) they are emotionally, romantically, and/or sexually attracted to. If you see a male/female couple, one or both of them is not necessarily straight; for example, he might be a bi-romantic asexual, and she might be pansexual. Another thing is that we also should not assume gender; that same couple that you thought is a male/female couple, one or both might be agender or nonbinary, etc."
In addition, sexual orientation and gender identity and expression "is very fluid, and can change over time," Koifman added. "We of course cannot force it to change, it just sometimes changes over time, as we are ever-growing and ever-changing. Everybody’s journey with their sexuality and identity is different. Some people have one sexual orientation throughout their life, while others may have two, three, five, etc."
It is important to also mention that if "somebody comes out as not straight (ie. bisexual, pansexual, etc.), it does not mean that their sexual orientation was not their real or authentic self," she said.
"Who we are, and who we are attracted to over time changes, and it does not negate who we were attracted to a month or a year ago. Those were your feelings and attractions then, and these are your feelings and attractions now. Some people have these feelings at a very young age and they may or may not have told others about these feelings, while others do not. Sometimes people have inklings or very strong feelings, and anything in between of being attracted to people that they are not normally attracted to and different from who they are currently partnered with. It can take time to understand and process all of those feelings. I think that it is great that these celebrities — who many assume are straight because they are partnered with men — are coming out as 'not straight' and sharing with the world that they are a part of the LGBTQ+ community. It really helps broaden peoples’ understanding about the fluidity of sexuality. Everybody's journey is different."
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