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The Tom Toms had their first big business fight — over Tom Schwartz’s wife, Katie Maloney-Schwartz.
Sandoval remains friends with James, and took his side in this one. Outside SUR, Sandoval confronted Katie. “You’re a bully, Katie!” Sandoval yells. “‘I can say whatever the f--k I want to anybody, but if somebody calls me fat? I’m getting their ass f--king fired.’” (Watch for yourself here.)
Katie replies, “I didn’t get him fired, he got himself fired.” Then she’s in tears with Schwartz comforting her.
Does he have to choose a side? According to Lisa Vanderpump, yes. “This is your partner’s wife you’re talking about,” she told him.
Relationship expert April Masini weighed in with a different response, however. She told Personal Space not to immediately take sides in this kind of situation.
“Listen. Ask questions. Talk to your partner and your best friend and find out what’s going on. Is this a fight that’s really about what they say it’s about? Or is this a fight that is about issues that have been brewing beneath the surface? The more you know, the better you’ll be able to handle this, so do your diligence. These relationships are worth the effort,” she said, adding, “If your spouse and your best friend always fight, or even if they’ve had one big blow out, try in interject some levity. Remember (and remind them) that not everyone gets along, but that you love them both and that you’d love to be able to laugh at their differences. Maybe they’ll be able to adopt that point of view.”
If it gets really ugly, try seeing your best friend without your spouse present to talk. “Always tell your spouse that you’re seeing your best friend, so he or she doesn’t feel betrayed. Test the waters to see if there is room in your relationships with both people to see them separately. This may be a temporary step, and a way to bridge the gap,” Masini said.
But, if one gives an ultimatum (and we know how Katie loves an ultimatum), you have to side with your partner, she added. “Be empathetic when you explain things to your best friend and if he or she has some maturity, they will understand that your spouse has to come first, no matter what. If you can’t side with your partner, reconsider your marriage.”
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