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The Daily Dish Weddings

Why Exactly Are J.Lo and A-Rod Inviting Exes To Their Wedding?

Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez plan to get married next year.

By Marianne Garvey

Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez plan to marry in the new year — and the former baseball star says “the more the merrier” when it comes to inviting their exes.

Um, OK. So whose table will Ben Affleck be at?

A-Rod appeared on GMA 3: Strahan, Sara and Keke, where he said he’s not too involved in the wedding planning and is basically a yes man when it comes to what J.Lo wants.

“When you think about wedding plans and Jennifer is your partner, all you do is — you do a lot of nodding,” he said. “I don’t know where the location is, I don’t know what I’m wearing, I don’t know when it is. I’ll just show up.”

But when Sara Haines asked, “Exes invited to wedding or ex-free zone?” here is what he said.

“I would say exes invited to wedding. All-inclusive. The more the merrier,” Rodriguez answered.

Lopez does share 11-year-old twins, Max and Emme, with her ex-husband Marc Anthony, but what about exes Ojani Noa, Cris Judd, Sean “Diddy” Combs, and Ben Affleck?

Meanwhile, A-Rod was previously married to Cynthia Scurtis and together they share daughters Natasha, 14, and Ella, 11.

"The rules depend on several factors when determining whether to invite an ex to your wedding," explained national etiquette expert Diane Gottsman. "Some ex-spouses maintain a friendly or family-like relationship and when it comes time to remarry, have no problem inviting their former spouse to the nuptials."

So when should you invite an ex to your wedding?

"If it’s an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend, it could make the new bride or groom, their friends, or future in-laws uncomfortable," Gottsman explained. "Especially when the new spouse feels uneasy or they have never met the ex before the wedding. Same goes for inviting ex in-laws. Even though you were close to in-laws, it’s not an automatic invitation to your wedding."

Whether or not an ex should be invited depends on several things — "primarily the comfort level of the new bride or groom," she added.

"If it is going to cause a problem with the person you are marrying, it’s best to start off on the right foot by respecting the wishes of your future spouse," Gottsman explained.

"Holidays and birthdays can include an ex when there is a friendly relationship or for the sake of the children. And it’s respectful of the current spouse to be understanding of the child/former spouse/parent relationship. But when it comes to a wedding, an unwelcome ex should be ready to sit it out."

In a perfect world, the  ex and current spouse would get along to show a united front for the sake of the children, but, Gottsman said, "We don’t live in a perfect world and it’s common for many exes to be at odds."

"A reason to invite an ex would be if your ex has remarried or in a serious relationship and you have mutual friends you socialize with on a regular basis. Just because they are an ex does not automatically ban them from a wedding. 

"If the relationship is contentious or their presence will potentially cause drama, by all means, skip the invite. It’s not worth the risk of ruining such an important day."

So, no Ben Affleck?

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