To err is human… to forgive divine. I am not a homewrecker or boyfriend stealer.
Dinner with Amanda and Jeff and Rob at Ill Bacco was so much fun. Looking back, Amanda had the right idea about staying at a hotel. I wish I had done the same.
Let me start off by saying, in high school I met a guy, Dave. We had mutual friends and became very good friends upon meeting. There was as an immediate spark between him and me, and feelings developed as we became closer friends. I was aware that he was in a relationship and did not try to steal him away from Casey. I respected their relationship and he and I only hung out as friends until he broke up with her. I want to make it clear that I only became aware of the fact that she had already brought a prom dress for his prom after they had broken up, and he and I already began dating. Casey and I were acquaintances in high school, and I was really never introduced to her. She was also younger, so had different friends. I never intended to break “girl code” and have her be hurt by me dating Dave after they were broken up. I would never intentionally hurt anyone, but sometimes in our lives our actions, good or bad, can ultimately hurt someone. If I could go back 12 years, there are many things I would do differently, but we can only learn from the past. I tried my best to sincerely apologize to Casey for any hurt what so ever my actions caused her.
I have a huge heart and mean only the best for those around me that I am close with and not. If it came off that I didn’t care that he and I dating hurt her when Joey and I talked, I want to be clear that I do not feel that way nor take her feelings lightly. I care about anyone I have hurt in the past and present. Joey and I were just becoming close, and I wasn’t trying to make the situation between Casey and me a mountain from a mole hole.
After seeing the episode, I really had no idea Casey felt that Dave was the love of her life at 15. It does hurt me to see her talk of that situation of him breaking up with her and how it up brought up emotions about her father leaving her. Prior to thi,s I thought that something that had happened so long ago would have been something of the past and maybe didn’t realize how traumatic the situation was for Casey. I hope moving forward she can move past this. Watching this episode I also realize how uncomfortable the Shabbat dinner was and how belittled Casey telling me to not talk made me feel. It truly upset me and definitely brought out a side of me I did not like to see. I believe if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything. At the end of the day, we all make mistakes. I am only human and 29 years old. I haven’t figured it all out. I am trying to live a life I am proud of everyday. I may stumble and fall, but it is about how you pick yourself back up after you have fallen that truly matters. Life is fragile, and we must live the best lives we can. I believe we must love those around us whole-heartedly and never take anything or anyone for granted.
This has been a very sad week for me as my dear grandmother, Audrey, passed away. I have always admired my grandmother and thought the world of her. I would like to mention her name and honor her life today and always. She will be missed greatly. It is truly heartbreaking to know you are never going to see someone who means so much to you again. I loved her very much and always will. May she always rest in peace.