Why Ariana Madix Calls Dating Tom Sandoval a “Risky Move”

Many a romance has bloomed between the folks in the orbit of Lisa Vanderpump’s restaurant empire. Few of those relationships are as enduring as the one between Ariana Madix and Tom Sandoval.

The Vanderpump Rules couple may no longer take shifts at SUR and have plenty of other projects to fill their martini glasses, but they are still taking fans inside their life together on the series. Things have taken a bit of a turn as of late for the pair as they finally took the plunge… and bought a house and released a cocktail book together after six years as a couple. And now we know exactly what’s next for these two. Ariana spilled the pump-tea-ni when she recently chatted with The Daily Dish.

What is the best piece of romantic or love advice you’ve ever gotten and who did you get it from?

Ariana Madix: I like, don’t want to say something cliché… Like when people say don’t go to bed angry, I’m like, sometimes you should just go to bed angry — because if you try to work it out, sometimes it makes it worse. Just go to bed and chill out, and then in the morning you’ll have a better conversation about it. I don’t know who told me that. I’ve lived that. Sometimes it’s OK to go to bed angry.

Yeah, because you do live with the person you’re in a relationship with. Does that sometimes make it harder or do you find that it was easier when you guys didn’t live together? How has that changed for the two of you?

AM: I don’t know. I mean, we’ve lived together for five years now, so it’s hard to remember the before time. I actually think it’s easier because if you get in a fight with somebody and you don’t live together, it can be a little stressful. Then you’re like, "When am I going to get to talk to them again?” But when you live together, it’s like, knowing that the person is there, they’re not going anywhere. It does lift that stress, I think, a little bit.

Because then you’re like, “Is that person going to call me tomorrow?"

AM: Yeah! And just knowing that — I feel like for me, feeling safe in a relationship is very important. So, knowing that we live together, there’s a safety to that.

You’ve been very open about the kinds of relationships you’ve been in over the years. What was it about Tom? How did he make you feel safe in a relationship that other people maybe hadn’t in the past?

AM: I think being friends for so long before we started dating, I knew that this was a good person who cared about the people in his life. So, that was just kind of helpful to know. But then, also just somebody who was just willing to be emotionally available and allow me to be emotionally available. I think that was a big thing in the beginning. 

What would you say he loves most about you and vice versa?

AM: OK, so he thinks I’m like, super badass. He calls me his information booth. I don’t feel very badass sometimes, so that is really sweet and makes me feel more that way. I just love that he’s always willing to be open and vulnerable with who he is, whether he’s right or wrong. He’s not really worried about that. I think that something we’ve learned from each other is that in a disagreement — which obviously with our show doesn’t work for other people — but I hate in a disagreement or an argument for someone to be right or wrong. I don’t like rights and wrongs. I always feel like it’s important for people to come to an understanding, which obviously on our show, he’s trying to come to an understanding with people and they’re like, “No, f--k that. You’re wrong.” I hate apologies. I just feel like people apologize for things because it’s a way for them to absolve and move on. I’d rather nobody ever apologize to me ever and we talk through how we both felt. I don’t know if I just went off on a tangent, but I feel like that’s something that we get from each other.

Obviously, most people use Valentine’s Day to celebrate the person. But you should celebrate that special person every day. So how would you say you guys celebrate each other on a daily basis?

AM: He always brings me snacks. I’ll be like, “Dumplin’ needs snacks!” And I do! Yeah, he brings me snacks, always. He’ll end up bringing me snacks in bed. Sometimes, I’ll come home from something, go upstairs, wash my face, and he comes with a cocktail. He’s just very — he takes care of me in that way.

Are you guys a Valentine’s Day couple or do you not care about it?

AM: Working in the service industry for so long, it’s kind of hard to want to be a Valentine’s Day couple because we’ve seen how strong some bars basically scam you… We’ve obviously worked those nights, so we’ve benefited from the scam, but it’s you know — I would rather go out the night before or the night after, when there isn’t a pre fixe menu for a gajillion dollars. And it’s basically the same thing. So yeah, we really haven’t been much of a Valentine’s Day couple for that reason, but we’ll try to maybe do something. I got him a little present this year. I just ordered it online and I was like, “That’ll be for Valentine’s Day.” 

So, who was your first-ever valentine?

AM: My first-ever valentine was… I mean, I’m sure I had elementary school valentines, like whatever. But, my first boyfriend. My first legit valentine, was my high school boyfriend. His name was Jeremy LeBrun. He’s now the principal of the middle school.

So, you guys had very similar paths is what you’re saying?

AM: Yes, very similar paths.

Do you keep in touch with Jeremy LeBrun?

AM: No. You know, I go through phases where I reactivate and deactivate my Facebook profile, and when I reactivated, all these old people are on the feed. It’s like, oh wow. I forgot about them, you know? It’s crazy. So, no.

It’s funny when you think about those people that have come in and out of your life over the years, right?

AM: It’s crazy to think… It just feels like, no matter what, when that amount of time passes, you feel like it’s a different life. Like a different lifetime. No matter what, it’s time passing and you’re like what? That’s crazy. A whole other life.

When did you know that you always wanted to be together?

AM: I don’t know. I think that was a different moment for both of us. So, there was a time we were both single and I was in this kind of crazy, coming off of the death of my dad and being single, trying to say yes to everything. And he was coming out of, obviously, the relationship that everybody has seen. He invited me to hang out with him and I was already with somebody else and I was like, “I want to get out of this date.” Obviously, Tom’s my friend. Good idea because I know I’ll have fun hanging out with my friend. Then, things that night were just not the same. There was a shift in him that I was like, “He’s acting differently.” And then I was like, “I might be open to whatever this is that’s happening. It feels weird, but also, I don’t hate it. Confused, but I don’t hate it.” And so, I feel like he had come to that moment then, and then it took me a little more time until I was like, “This could be really great… or this could be really bad and we’ll never be able to be friends ever again.” 

Because making a relationship out of a friendship is…

AM: It’s risky! It’s a risky move because especially if you like that person as a friend and that is somebody you value as a friend, if it doesn’t work out, that could be very bad once you cross that line.

We know that you guys are moving into a new house this season on the show, but what do you see next for you and Tom?

AM: Well, we just put out our first book. It’s doing so well. We want to do another book pretty soon here. Tom and I have some things together that we’re working on and then some things that we’re going to be working on separately. So, I mean, I just want to take over the world. Baby steps. 

Want more Vanderpump Rules? New episodes air every Tuesday at 9/8c or catch up on this season through the Bravo app.