We've seen Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi struggle with her rheumatoid arthritis like never before this season of Shahs of Sunset. GG previously revealed to PEOPLE that she "turned to the bottle for pain and mental management."
Now the Shahs pal has is opening up about her history of substance abuse. "I was an addict," GG said during a recent interview with ET. "I started using drugs when I was 11 and a half, and it kind of progressed very, very fast and I was a full blown addict [before I knew it]."
During that time, GG said she "played around with everything," especially cocaine and marijuana. "One took me up, one took me down…It was really bad," she said. "A lot of things happened in those years that I haven’t fully been able to ever publicly talk about."
Though GG is 11 years drug-free, she said she feared that she would go down that road once again. "When the alcohol abuse picked up last year, I knew this pattern and I knew what was happening. I recognized it," she told ET. "I said, 'Okay, well if I don't stop it now, this could eventually lead to a few lines of coke, it could lead into a lot of other dangerous things.'"
GG recalled one of the lowest points in her journey. "I was literally sitting on the ground in my living room, one empty bottle of Tito's vodka here, a bottle of wine here, and some gin. And on the other side, I had knives," she described. "It just came down to — you fight or flight in this moment. 'What do I do in this moment?' And I downed the rest of that wine and picked up the phone. I called my friend and said, 'I need you now.'"
In that moment, GG said that she remembered how much she loves her life, aside from dealing with her RA. "Everything else in my life, I'm really happy about," she said. "I didn't want this disease to be something I'm submitting to and giving up, even though I really wanted to."
GG is not giving up as she continues to share her fight with RA with the world. "To all of my warriors, stay strong! We have good days and bad days but don't let it change you the way I let it change me last year. Let's inspire each other and let's bring some awareness to these invisible and debilitating auto immune diseases," she captioned a photo of herself receiving treatment for her RA on Thursday. "Never let anyone silence your battle!'
GG has since gotten treatment and is now organizing a charity event with Children's Hospital Los Angeles to raise money for kids with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. However, this experience has made GG hesitant to start a family of her own one day. "Thinking that I can pass this onto my kids, or even if I have kids I can't hold on to them for too long…I just keep envisioning if my child is just crying and I literally have no strength to hold my child for any longer — it's just something that's been really weighing on me for the last couple years," she revealed to ET. "At this age I should be starting a family, and I'm even debating if I should anymore."
Well, GG and Reza Farahan's reconciliation during Part 2 of this season's reunion definitely has us thinking there's a bright future for the whole Shahs cast.