Life gets busy and then all of a sudden, you scroll through your phone and realize that so many of your close gal pals from the past, are people you haven’t texted or gone to brunch with in a very long time. Maybe there was a reason why the friendship broke apart or maybe it’s just that neither of you made any effort to keep it alive.
Either way, there’s no better time to rekindle female friendships in your life than a new year, juxtaposed, with Galentine’s Day, a holiday that’s all about splitting a bottle of rosé with your real friends, while binging episodes of the shows that contain your TV besties.
Wondering how to breathe life back into your own friendships? Whether it includes a tearful public apology or a simple vow to ditch the tension for reconnection, here are five tips to get you started.
Send the First Message
Pick up your phone and scroll through your contacts. Make a list of old friends that you haven’t chatted with in quite some time, that you truly miss. Take a handful of those people and send them a text, give them a call, or DM them on social media and let them know you miss them and would love to catch up. Instead of reaching out and just letting the conversation die after a few messages back and forth, set a time and day to meet-up in person.
Plan an Outing
If you start to notice that you’ve lost touch with a lot of your female friends because of a new relationship or a job that’s kept your eyes glued to your to-do list, plan a mini-party or an outing where you can invite multiple friends. That’ll feel less awkward than a series of one-on-one lunches or coffee dates. If you don’t have any plans for Galentine’s Day, host a party at your house for girlfriends to come over and hang out in a casual setting.
Reach Out to People You’ve Met Once
If you don’t have any interest in touching base with friends from the past, either because you feel like you’ve grown apart from them or you have bad feelings for them, instead, think about people you may have met a few times before and reach out to them. Messaging acquaintances you met at a networking event, a party, or through friends of friends, is an easy way to start building friendships with people you’ve met briefly but never had the time to get to know better.
Be the First to End a Fight
A lot of times, friendships are torn apart because of a fight or a disagreement that just lingers on for far too long. While it might be hard to summon the courage to admit that you were wrong, or partially wrong, it might be the best way to take the first step toward clearing the air and fixing a friendship that used to mean a lot to you. Think about what you can say to that person who was once a BFF and is now practically a stranger that will make them open up and make the two of you solve the problems of the past.
Take Ownership for What Happened
Another major reason why friendships start to get messy is when a new relationship comes into the picture. When you start to date someone new, often times, you put that person first. Then, for months, or years, you forget about your friends and only reach out when your partner is busy or when it’s convenient for you and not your pals. Then, you break up with that person and expect your friends to still be there to rendezvous with you. But they aren’t.
If you have friends you lost because of a relationship that just ended, take some time to realize what you did wrong and what made you put your relationship first and them second. Once you have your story straight, reach out to them with an explanation and a plan on how to make sure this never happens again.
While the friendship might not be the same for a while, your friend will appreciate that you came to them with an understanding of how you messed things up, badly, and how you want to be a better friend in the future.
Continue celebrating Galentine's Day with Bravo by watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta's Cynthia Bailey and The Real Housewives of Potomac's Karen Huger create magic as they interview each other on Housewife to Housewife.
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