Everybody on RHOBH Hurts

Several splits, llamas, Parisian fights, rose swings, lemon trees, and secrets later, we've reached the end of Season 3. And I hope you're ready to spend it both celebrating love and lamenting its demise.

Hearts Equal Marriage
As more people stream in and out of Lisa's housewarming party, the revelers are starting to suspect that it might be more than just a shindig to celebrate the new home. Perhaps it was the priest and heart-arches that tipped them off.

But while one union is being reunionized, blame is being distributed for the fall of another. Brandi and Yolanda are still aghast at Faye's claim that Adrienne and Paul's divorce is at the hands of Miss Glanville. And so they decide to take a moment to finish their chat with Marisa sans Faye's two cents. Marisa claims that she wasn't mad at Brandi and explains that she's sorry about the whole affair. Brandi's final ask to Marisa: who was saying Brandi would sleep with most anyone? Answer: Faye. Well that ensures that Brandi's not done having this conversation with Faye just yet.

Meanwhile, Taylor and Linda Thompson are having a moment. Taylor doesn't want her kindness and friendship with Yolanda to hurt their friendship. Linda, says of course that isn't the case and the two ladies hug and laugh like mature friends that can have more than one friend and deal with life's little hiccups. Huh, what's that like? Should Linda perhaps teach a glass on the matter to the general group. If only people had listened to her back in Season 2, when she was telling everyone to look at the ocean during the Malibu Beach party bust-up.

The Faye Fray
While that calm convo is happening, in a different part of the party Lisa and Faye are having a chat about mouthpieces. These women are always talking about mouthpieces! (I always imagine a blinged-out megaphone when they say it too. It just seems so Bevelry Hills.) This time Faye thinks this is Lisa's massive plan to take down Adrienne, and that she's enlisted Brandi to do her dirty work.

Yolanda continues to try to earn her place as group enforcer by instructing everyone to get up and get involved in the melee. Lisa waits for Kyle to jump in and defend her, but sadly she's going to have to keep on waiting. Faye eventually saunters off, after a Pretty Little Liars reference, which I hope you guys didn't miss. At this point Brandi says she's shocked by how much Faye thinks of her, considering they don't know each other that well. Kyle believes the root issue is Adrienne Adrienne, but Kim wants to remind everyone that she rooted first -- when Brandi hurt her deeply. This launches them into an intense sister fight that we haven't seen Kim and Kyle that would make anyone fearful of the gals teenage years. It's upsetting to see Kim still so raw over Game Night, particularly when things with Brandi seemed to be on the mend. It seems like Paris and Vegas have much in common, what happens there stays there.

Tearfully Late
Moments later, Adrienne arrives, tweaking the saying, "It's my party I'll cry if I want to" into something like "It's my frenemies party and I'll cry if I want to." Adrienne explains how tough the separation already is on her and the kids, and it's heinous to watch a family splitting apart. Thankfully she has the ladies (well some of them) there to support her.

Meanwhile, Ken's sense of decorum was rocked that Adrienne didn't come over and apologize for her lateness, while Adrienne was shocked Lisa didn't come by to check on her. Here I default to you fair commenters, who was in the wrong? If you tearfully enter a party is it your responsibility or the hosts to announce yourself?

All this sadness, does cause Lisa to feel that renewing her vows in the midst of the hoopla is a bit disingenuous. Brandi, while wishing that she could take this opportunity to slip in and marry Ken, prods her to celebrate the love she and Ken have, anyway. Particularly since Ken's on borrowed time (so wrong, so hilarious, so Brandi).

Sit, Obey
And so beneath the heart-arches, in front of God, everybody, and most importantly Giggy, Ken and Lisa share what's in their hearts. Did you weep? Did you cry at the thought of a young Lisa and Ken in love? I personally lost it when Lisa did. These crazy cats just adore each other, and have spent their lives together doing their best to make the best of each other. Isn't that what love is supposed to be about? That and having an amazing dog right?

And so the evening ends with a cake fight (nope, not like the one from RHOC's last finale). Sadly, we know that some of the ladies aren't cutting cake with each other in the off-season (as you might have learned in the reunion), but at least we had a season full of delcious good times to cherish. Hopefully you stuck around for the madness that was the reunion. But my time as your recapper is done for now. Until we meet under the heart-arches again my dears. Thanks for reading.