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Carlton: I Should Have Been Drinking Heavily

Carlton how she felt about Kim's angst at Cirque School, Kyle's "tweeter," and Joyce's Hair Gate.

By Carlton Gebbia

So yes I am about having beauty and beautiful women around me. . .But isn't that subjective? What I find beautiful you may not. I believe primarily in beauty of the soul, but if you're an ugly troll within your heart then you're just plain ugly. What floats my boat may not float yours. I do honestly feel girls are super powerful and beautiful. . .I'm OK with that, we really are a very fun species!

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Regardless of what I think about certain girls in this group I would never undermine them as wonderful mothers. I think we all have done a exceptional job with our children. I have to say Yolanda's relationship with her daughters is so wonderful to watch. When I look at them it reminds me of my girls, and I continue to wish that for my babes. To always love each other and protect one another. Sisters can be tricky, but I pray that I succeed. Raising children is by far the hardest accomplishment for any parent and I still believe that especially single parents should get a bloody pay check because if we can bring into this world well adjusted loving and caring children, there is no bigger accomplishment.

I adore Brandi obviously, she makes me giggle, but we didn't bury any bodies. . .I mean crystals! When she's ready to do it. I am a huge believer in visualization and the power of crystals.

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Going to the Cirque, I knew Kim really wanted our day be stress-free, but she did get a little intense, which sort of sucked the fun factor out of our circus balloon. She told Yolanda off for being rude, which I felt was not warranted, and then it sort of went sideways.

Kyle shared a lovely image with us all as she said her "tweeter was getting chopped off" while she was suspended in the air, which was not a visual I particularly wanted seared into my memory. A very unusual name for her roped burned vajayjay. . .I guess no more party trick SPLITS for you sir.

A perfect ending to the day as we head over to Thomson Hotel which still continued to be a barrel of laughs! THIS was the day I should have been drinking heavily.

Oh Joyce causing drama for the sake of drama. . .Making a big thing was exactly what you wanted to do with Lisa. Firstly pulling Lisa aside publicly wasn't as spur-of-the-moment-subtle as you may think. How one can make a meal out of a supposedly misplaced hair is poorly planned and hysterical at the same time. I don't think I've ever seen Lisa with a hair out of place. Nice throwing girls under the bus Joyce. And I still think you're beautiful but now I'm over the flipping hair tossing saga.

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