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Lisa: Get the Hell Off My Back

Lisa explores the double standard she's held to including the Beyonce comparison and Kim's claim she can't be trusted with dirty socks.

By Lisa Vanderpump

And we are back. I thank you in advance for your comments, which I always read. I take the time to blog, and I respect that you take the time to comment.

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So we are now returning to the second part of this intriguing trilogy, where it appears to me everybody is searching for something.

This could be the biggest game of Trivial Pursuit in history, to witness the endless trivial matters that they continue to pursue is exhausting.

Yes, I was in Missouri and went to dinner on the way home. . .I have explained this, and sent a gift. I had marched with the children for miles, with children that have real challenges, where Giggy can be a comfort as he brings some sort of levity to the situation. We then travelled back to Los Angeles. Why is it such a problem? Most of her family wasn't even there. I hardly know her daughter. Why on earth do I keep having to justify this? It beggars belief.

Also why would Yolanda join in? Surely, true friends defend each other. Maybe Hollywood friends don't, or do they or at least ask -- "How was the charity?"

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Also she says closing the door when she is pulling down her underwear is dismissive. In my mind, it is is akin to taking a bottle away. Protect your friends. We have no idea what is edited, but I am sure that would not be their proudest moments.

I ponder the fact that apparently it is OK to sit in an interview and mock me fainting. Can we imagine if, God forbid, I reenacted scenarios of Kim drunk? I apologized to Kyle for my flippant remark which was a response to when Yolanda stated Kyle had no friends. Oh but no, Kyle wouldn't point that out. I wonder why not? The same as the praying incident. Brandi had said Kim was losing her mind, but that too is ignored. Very strange.

Am I held to a higher standard? Why does nobody apologize to me for hurting my feelings when they mocked my fainting?

Or to say that I have more attitude than Beyonce? That was the most ironic statement coming from Yolanda.

My God, many things have been said that I am sure warrant an apology, but I won't wait with bated breath -- as I am sure it would be a long time coming.

Brandi, at first I admit, I had sympathy for her situation. She didn't have a job and was a pariah within this group. But now, as we embraced her, financially she has gone from strength to strength and the victim card has been played out. So I understood Joyce's sentiment.

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For Kim to attempt to undermine my husband, who has always been supportive, was rather irritating to say the least. He apologizes next week for questioning whether she had been drinking, as if that had been responsible for her aggression aimed at him. I am adamant in the fact that Ken should not have suggested whether she had been drinking, but, likewise he is (as am I) mystified by much of her behavior. But we are definitely supportive in her quest for sobriety. Actually in retrospect, when I realize I have no chance of guarding her old socks -- that is a comfort if our relationship ever went forward.

So my friends, if I am ever remiss in closing the bathroom door when millions could be watching, please close it for me.

Please don't feel pressured to come to an event for my children. If you are participating in a charity, on the other side of the country, and have no idea what time you are returning, a gift is more than sufficient.

Please snatch the bottle from my hand if I am inebriated and potentially making a fool of myself in front of the world.

Additionally, feel free to mock my illness, my accent, or state I have never been to a grocery store or that I have more attitude than a superstar, when I spend 80 percent of my time working my ass off. Don't worry as I will not take offense or call you on it.

Also please check my blog, Kyle, dated Feb. 4 where I only stated that "When Kyle once again raises the subject of NippleGate I know where this is going." Oh dear what a cardinal sin to have ever written that.

And there we have it, a ridiculously complicated scenario, conjured up out of diddly squat.

Oh and one more request, please, dearest "friends" on the reunion couch. Do me the honor and -- get the hell off my back.

Have a good week.

As always.
Love Lisa.

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