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Who’s all in for the RODEO?
Watching Brandi Redmond try to juggle three kids and herself honestly makes me so glad I have dogs. I don’t know how women do it! Kudos to Brandi for adopting a new baby when you already had your hands full! If you start a Nanny Fund I will be the first to contribute!
Now can we talk about my FABULOUS MAN?!! We went on a date night to Mille Lire so that I could fill him in on how the girls made me feel in Colorado about our relationship. When we sat down, I started the conversation with massive butterflies in my stomach, but by the time it ended my heart had been completely refueled with our love! Listening to him handle me so gently (something a certain “friend” needs to work on) and delicately explaining that we don’t always communicate effectively was so spot on! Whenever I really want something, I avoid it at all cost. It’s a horrible habit that stems from my childhood trauma. I am so afraid of failure that I will self-sabotage the very thing I want out of fear. I mean, when your own mother doesn’t want you at the cutest stage of your life, why would anyone want to spend the rest of their life you?! Realizing my self-worth is one of the things I am working on in therapy. Clearly, I haven't mastered it, but I continue to try with the support of the man I love.
When he asked me to marry him AGAIN I was blown away! This is a man who truly wants to be not only my best friend but my soulmate and life partner! Even watching this back again, I am tearing up realizing how much he loves me! (Hold on for two seconds…. Had to go give him a big hug!) This is what love looks like for us! This is REAL! The most tender parts of our hearts supporting and loving one another. Thank you God for blessing me with Rich! The evening made me realize that when you have “friends” who make you doubt your relationship, you should really think about whether or not they are REAL friends!
OMG! Watching Kameron Westcott tell her children that THEY are the most important thing in the world to her is the most touching moment I have ever seen with them. Watching her devotion to her children makes me realize even more what I missed in my own childhood. She is such an amazing mother and it makes me feel so lucky that I get to call her my friend!
Going to talk to Mrs. Lock after my date, I was excited to share how Rich had reassured me of his desire to not only marry me, but to grow old with me. Listening to D'Andra Simmons's reaction makes it so very clear that my impending wedding seems to be threatening her. No matter what I say to her about Rich she refuses to accept that he loves me. It makes me sad that her definition of love is so rigidly defined that she can't accept our version of it.
I asked her about work because I felt like she had been ignoring the very serious situation of possibly taking the company, and starting over. When I brought up my fears about Brandi to her, she was already well aware of the fact that I did not TRUST Brandi to keep up her end of peaceful. Go back and read my first blog! I had a very strong fear that their friendship would be a welcome distraction from dealing with her mother and figuring out what to do with her career. I shared how deeply I have been hurt by Brandi so that she would understand my fear of her getting hurt. I knew that by stepping up and sharing this fear with her it would create two possible problems for me 1) She would tell Brandi and it would stir negative feelings between us and 2) She would think I was trying to stop them from becoming friends. The truth is, I was simply saying "Don’t go off riding a horse without your saddle!" That’s all! At least the conversation ends with my REAL INTENTION…."proceed with caution."
Off to see the BOWLS… I mean BULLS! "They are sooooo adorable!! And they aren’t even on leashes!” I’m dying! This is why I love Kameron Wescott! She thought bulls belonged on LEASHES! Just dying! Rodeo Barbie getting on a bull makes me laugh my bootie off! Real cowboys getting bucked off of actual bulls that want to kill them… IMPRESSIVE!
WTF?? Where was Brandi hiding a garden hose and funnel all day while we walked around? I’m not kidding! I really want to know! Now to the part about feeling "left out" uhh NO!… If I was at home maybe I would feel left out but I am standing right next to you! All 51 years of me! Now, D’Andra jumps in and says I should hang up my hat? Brandi and D'Andra are really starting to show their TRUE COLORS. Oh, and I’m gross for burping but peeing and farting on people is hilarious. #judgymuch
When I tried to explain the responsibility of having a legacy name in Dallas, I was trying to help Brandi understand the pressures of that responsibility, but of course, Brandi has to make it personal. Believe me, I have no grand visions of being a part of high society at all, but of course, Brandi’s insecurity makes her feel that way towards me. And please keep bringing up reports that don’t exist. Let me break it down for you… The way you act in a bar SHOULD NOT BE the way you act in church. You don’t just walk up to the pastor and say “F--- You” if you don’t like what he says. It’s not that hard to understand. Unless you are Brandi. Do I want D'Andra to be HAPPY? YES! But I also have been the one that when she makes one misstep in society is on the phone listening to her cry for hours. I am very protective of her and maybe I shouldn’t be. Maybe that is my mistake thinking that a friend should protect you from harm and making mistakes. Maybe this is a lesson I need to learn.
Listening to D'Andra say Brandi has been successful at being herself is completely correct. I’m just saying, if you are adult, there will always be repercussions (ie: an unintended consequence occurring some time after an event or action, especially an unwelcome one.) or consequences (ie: a result or effect of an action or condition.)
I do think that it was incredibly thoughtful for Brandi to grab that necklace and save it for her birthday present from all of us. This is the side of Brandi that makes me miss her friendship. But we all know this feeling is fleeting!
Ok, Brandi, after all the CRAP you have talked about me tonight to see you in confessional saying you thought we had moved forward is the REASON I warned D'Andra to be cautious! You can’t talk shit about a person all episode and then say "I thought we were moving forward!" WALK THE TALK! I NEVER told D'Andra not to be friends with you. If you really listen to D'Andra and Brandi they are already telling you how they feel about me. D'Andra just said "I may not be her best friend after tonight." Because I gave you a lap dance? Sadly, I can feel my heart starting to crack and the pain of once again realizing that what friendship I thought was there NEVER WAS! Listen y’all, I got #whitegirlwasted at Billy Bobs and I don’t care. I don’t have a legacy name to protect. I mean, can a girl just prove that white girls can’t dance without being judged, Brandi? I am pretty sure Dancing with the Stars is calling me for next season after those moves! LMAO.
Listening to Cary Deuber talk about her struggles with her parental relationships just shows me what little time I have taken to really get to know her and it inspires me to continue making a serious effort to develop a real friendship with her! We honestly do have more in common than I ever thought. #hoepfulheart I am super happy to see she and Mark design the home of their dreams. I just hope I get an invitation for dinner cooked on that $75K stove and a chance to look through that closet!!
While I am watching the phone for that phone call from DWTS, y’all come chat with me on social media. And remember, just because someone says something on TV doesn’t make it TRUE!
All my love,