OMGosh, watching Stephanie Hollman audition male models is the BEST way I could have never imagined to kick off this week. When she asked if she could hug the first model I DIED! Her face was filled with so much precious excitement!! Now, this is a moment I can really get in to! LOL
Now, let's jump into the meat and potatoes of this episode. When I said I didn’t feel like Cary Deuber had a side with me at all it’s because Cary and I are still getting to know one another. I wouldn't expect her to side with me on anything at this point because she has no idea if that honest loyalty will be returned. Cary telling D'Andra Simmons what I said was very unexpected, however, in the smash room when I confronted her and said - “That’s NOT how I said it” she agreed and told me that she told D’Andra I was just trying to help her. Which is WHY I felt led to believe, looking back at the anger room, that D'Andra was ACTING! If someone told you it was said but not with bad intentions, why lose your mind and tell the whole group? I felt it was a bit over the top even for an extreme exaggerator such as D'Andra.
The photo shoot went amazingly. It took me all night to put together the shot list of all 175 ways and I can’t believe in only four hours we were able to photograph them all. Honestly, it was a bit of a workout for me! Haha! All these images will be put into a video format for our final website and show. This is a dream come true with a fabulous team to back me up. I can’t wait to share the final product when we launch this November.
Oops, did Brandi Redmond just make FUN of D’Andra’s $200? Well alrighty then. Guess we have all moved forward… right?
And now here D’Andra is making fun of the $200 with her unicorn piggy bank. GIRL- next time when you buy something from the dollar store make sure it has all the parts. There should be a rubber stopper on the bottom. Glad we are... moving forward????
Awe!! I stole money from you to buy "hair extensions from China" well, aren’t you just a ray of f---ing sunshine. Let me get this straight, according to D'Andra, "The rich will forgive everything but the POOR."?? Are you kidding me? Money is seriously THAT important to you that you base your place in society by the level of money you have in your bank account? I’m sorry several bank accounts? That is never how I have seen any of my wealthier friends. Let’s be clear, plenty of my wealthy friends accept, love and INCLUDE me in their lives and social calendar not based off my bank account but more my personality and loyalty. This insecurity in D'Andra is not a healthy one.
Now she is telling me she would never "say something about my personal finances" BUT YOU JUST DID. You just accused me of STEALING FROM YOU and buying my weave from China. So you did just talk sh-- about my finances. Back to the Double Standards we go!
Watching myself apologize from the deepest part of heart trying to put our relationship back on track is hard to watch. At that point, I just wanted to apologize so we could get back to what I thought was an authentic friendship. And what do I get for taking the high road? The high road that some of you on Twitter demanded I take with her…? INSULTS! Now I am being accused of something I didn’t do for a reason that doesn’t exist. D'Andra has become rude and willing to say anything, including LIE ABOUT ME to distract her truth.
Watching Kameron Westcott cry about feeling alone makes me so sad! I truly tried to make sure she never felt that way during last year. I could see how she felt Cary brought her into the group and then didn’t really support her, but honestly, the tequila was flowing that day BIG TIME and Kam and I were the only two that were sipping. I remember feeling so alone, left out and not wanted when this group first got together. I couldn’t have made it through without Tiffany’s support and love. That is what I want to be for Kameron.
When Stephanie Hollman pulled me aside and confided in me that she wanted to have a relationship separate from the group with me, not gonna lie, my heart melted. THIS is all I have ever wanted. A chance to been seen from her own perspective and not her being given someone else perspective. For the last two years, I truly believed that Steph saw me only through the emotions of Brandi and Cary. Now, the clouds have moved out and the sun is shining and I might, if I am really lucky, get a rainbow friendship with Stephanie. The word to describe how I am feeling is GRATEFUL!
Watching Steph tell Brandi she is about to crash and burn makes it clear to me how Brandi is operating out of a place of sheer exhaustion. When you are exhausted your brain can’t process normally and you tend to make quicker decisions and reactions without completely listening to what is being said. I thought it was very clear that Cary was encouraging her NOT to give Kam the gag gift. But I also know when you are exhausted you can’t remember things clearly. I hope these two can work things out.
Walking into Steph’s house with all those young male models, not gonna lie, made me a little nervous. It actually added to my nerve that I was alone in a house with three people who in the past I have not really gotten along with that well. I just kept thinking, when is the shoe gonna drop but didn’t want to say anything as I tried to force myself to relax. LOL While everyone is freaking out with joy that there is a kangaroo, I just kept thinking, if she bites me what kind of bad things could happen? I know it’s normal to think that way but I have a survivor brain. I just want to know how to keep living.
Listening to Cary and Brandi, it’s weird but I suddenly feel very bad for Cary because as much as she didn’t want to get caught in the middle between Kam and Brandi… here she sits! Hearing Brandi say that I am the one who led Kam to think that Brandi is influencing is D'Andra is DEAD WRONG! Kam and I discussed it but I never led her to think or feel that way. Kam is a big girl and has her own thoughts! Here Brandi is AGAIN, saying that I am doing something that I have NOT DONE! Girl, start asking me! I am in the other room!
Brandi saying "Kam needs to have a brain of her own" is ludicrous! Brandi saying this shows two VERY clear things: first, she thinks Kam is stupid and second, she thinks everything bad that someone thinks or says comes from me. GIRL! You are not that important that I need to convince anyone of anything about YOU! Your insecurities are doing that all on their own! Kam feels the way she feels because YOU haven’t taken the time to get to know her! Drop the insecurity and call her!
Brandi constantly BLAMING me for everything is becoming a very old story that I am honestly getting tired of hearing. Has she grown since we first joined this group? Has she matured? I’m starting to struggle to see any improvement. That is very sad to me. I see such growth in Stephanie & Cary! I would love to start seeing some in Brandi.
I’m going to end this week with one VERY CLEAR WARNING- do not LIE about Rich, D'Andra cause the karma train is a real BITCH! Oh, and it’s just an ugly look on you when you are so obviously jealous of how HAPPY we are together!
That’s all folks! As usual, reach out to me on Social Media and I will reach back! Sending you all my love… LeeAnne