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When Greggy Met Patti

Episode 12:'s Associate Editor thinks Greg and Patti LaBelle were meant to be friends.

By Andrew Herrmann

No. 3 - Lady in Red

Joe Gorga is like a bull in many ways, most strikingly in the fact that the color red has a strong effect on him. Rather than making him charge ahead, it forces him to stay in place because of how very, shall we say, excited it makes him.

And as much as Melissa tries to deflect Joe's advances, she wore red not once but twice this episode. That's just asking for trouble. Luckily (or not so luckily depending on her mood) the kids interfered each time, thus preventing any x-rated activity. Something tells me she enjoys teasing Joe.

The bigger red flag (Ha! Jokes!) this issue raises (Ha! More jokes!) is this -- what happens when Joe sees the color red just out in public? Does he have to carry a pillow or a bag or a newspaper around at all times to hide his red-induced affliction? I think it's time this terrible illness was brought to the attention of the world. Joe needs to start a support group or charity for people who get unduly aroused by the color red.

Red to Excite and Red to Calm
No. 2 - Gia Steps It Up

What can't Gia do? She's an actress, model, singer, gymnast, and now accomplished dancer. I personally can't wait for the day she gives up the stage to pursue her true passion -- astrophysics. (But seriously at this rate I wouldn't be surprised if that was the next field she sets out to conquer.)

When she cartwheeled out onto the stage right at the start, I had to catch my breath. This dance was serious. So serious in fact that it BROUGHT JOE GIUDICE TO TEARS. Yes, you read that correctly. I never thought we'd see the day. But then again, I never thought I would have seen Joe Giudice do a split. This guy is full of surprises.

Unsurprising however was the fact that while everyone else is madly cheering, Milania was yawning. Oh Milania! Never change.
Gia at Beatstock
No. 1 - When Greggy Met Patti

Greg loves Patti LaBelle. Like really loves Patti LaBelle. As soon as he caught a glimpse of her at the Fancy Food Festival, it was over. He was bringing her some .blk and talking to her no matter what. He would have scaled a wall and swam through a moat to spend some time with this woman.

However Greg nearly didn't make it over to her, after being overpowered by the fabulousness of her Louis Vuitton scarf. Somehow, some way he was able to recover his senses and deliver the .blk water. What happened next was truly magical experience for both Greg and the viewers.

First off, Patti LaBelle knew who Greg was because she's a fan of Real Housewives of New Jersey. From the look on Greg's face I thought he was going to float away and enter heaven. Then she confirmed what Greg has been saying all along -- she is his godmother (not actually, but totally in spirit). Again, look of pure ecstasy on Greg's face. And when Patti whipped out her Louboutins, well, if the scarf nearly stopped Greg from coming over the shoes nearly stopped his heart.

Best part of the whole scene: Greg referred to her only as Miss Patti. He probably said Miss Patti about five times.
Meeting Miss Patti
Next week get ready for the first annual Real Househusbands summit. Get the antipasti platter ready.
Trying to Avoid Drama in Wine Country

How to Watch

Watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey Sundays at 8/7c on Bravo and stream next day on Peacock.

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