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Jacqueline Laurita: My Heart Was in the Right Place
Jacqueline dishes the details of the RHONJ family drama and how she stepped back to let others heal.
Hi again! I'm going to blog about the last two episodes because I didn't write one last week. I'm sorry. I've been traveling and enjoying my friends and family. I'll try to get my blogs out faster next time. I'd much rather save the "family drama" talk for the reunion when I'm asked specific questions, because to be honest with you, I really don't care about it anymore. I do know that if it were my family at the center of the drama, we would all be talking about them instead. The girls all know that, so I'm not really sure why they are acting so surprised by it.
OK, OK....I'll indulge a little bit. LOL! Bottom line is that, at the time, I was so invested in our group unity because I felt we were all part of such a close group (read between the lines). These were friends that I considered family. The thought of everybody getting along at the same time for ONCE really sounded great to me, and I believed it would benefit everybody. I also don't like leaving people out.
Teresa had claimed to have found God when she read the bible in prison and said she finally learned about forgiveness and that's how she was able to forgive her sister-in-law and me, so I felt hopeful that she could also find it in her heart to forgive Kathy and Rosie like we had all forgiven Teresa for her wrongdoings. I think hope is a great thing to have, and my intentions were all good. I know that doesn't make me a bad person.
I have to say, what annoyed me most about that night at Kathy's house is how insensitive Melissa was toward the pain Kathy and Rosie were feeling at the time, especially when she used to vent to all of us about Teresa in the past and we would always listen, comfort her, and try to get things to a better place. Didn't Melissa just tell me at our last lunch alone together that she wanted me to be able to talk to her about Teresa (when I didn't want to)? I didn't understand why she wouldn't allow Kathy to do the same. I thought maybe she would want to help her and Rosie in some way.
Let's get something straight...Kathy and Rosie were not talking badly about Teresa. They were expressing their hurt and frustration at Teresa being able to move forward with others and not them. I get it. Despite what has happened between them in the past, they just wanted to make peace for the family and they felt shut out.
By Siggy and I trying to encourage a conversation between Teresa and her cousins, it was only coming from a positive place. There was nothing malicious about trying to help others make peace and no one is going to convince me otherwise.
Unfortunately, I learned that in this particular situation it was apparent that it was every man/woman for himself/herself and it was only upsetting Teresa and Melissa by pushing the issue. That's when I decided it was time for me to take a step back and let them resolve things themselves on their own time. It just bothers me so much when I see my friends hurting. I just wanted to help them. It's who I am. My heart was in the right place.
After our discussion, Melissa and Joe hung out with all of us at Kathy's and we had a great time with each other until 1:00 in the morning. There didn't seem to be any hard feelings at all between anyone. It was nice.
There have been worse conflicts in Teresa's family that have been resolved, so I think there's always hope for Kathy, Rosie, and Teresa. When I heard Teresa had a breakdown after talking to Kathy and Rosie and Teresa saying that her doors are always open, it showed me there's still love there and one day it could possibly mend. Where there is hurt, there is love. I hope one day their family becomes whole again. I sincerely do.
Let's go backward to the play date between Nicholas, Gabriella, Milania and Audriana. It was absolutely adorable! Nick gave Audriana a rose, just like the day that she was born. It had been a long time since he's seen her. Nicholas is a gentleman.
Although all of Teresa's kids were all so kind, patient and understanding with Nick, Milania, especially, blew my mind. She was such a little mommy to Nick. She took him right under her wing. I think she would make an amazing teacher one day. She was amazing with Nick. It brought tears to my eyes. It's a side of Milania that I've always seen, but maybe you, as viewers, have not. She really does have a huge heart.
It's usually hard for me to explain and for people to understand our new normal, but Teresa and her kids helped me feel better about showing them a piece of our world because of their acceptance. That meant the world to me.
Understandably, I could tell it was still hard for Teresa to completely understand the Autism Spectrum because she said to me during that playdate, "Well, at least it's not permanent" referring to his Autism. Although it is true that many children on the spectrum have recovered many skills once lost, currently there is no known cure for Autism. However, with the right early interventions, treatments and therapies many children can greatly improve! There is no predicting the future. There is only hope! You must always believe that your child is capable of learning and improving, because they are capable! We just do our best every day to bring out the best Nicholas that Nicholas can be.
At this point, my walls questioning Teresa's sincerity with me were starting to come down again and it felt really good about being friends with her again.
I know I spoke a lot about Pete and Ashlee in my previous blogs but as for Ashlee and Pete's engagement, as a family, we couldn't be more thrilled for the both of them. He's a great guy and he's from a great family! Ashlee is blissfully happy and that makes me blissfully happy! Life really couldn't be better right now! For all of us!
Make sure to tune in next week as we head to Vermont. The previews had me and my friends in belly laughs. Although things do become a lot more clear as to why certain people were invited on the trip, I guess some things/people never change. Holler at me later! I'll be on WWHL this Sunday! XOXO!
Meanwhile, check out my book I co-authored with my friend Fashion/Style expert Jene Luciani at your local bookstore or on Amazon.com, "Get it! A Beauty, Style and Wellness Guide for getting your It" Together!"
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For now, I'll be doing Periscope after each episode of RHONJ so you can ask me questions, yell at me, or whatever! See you there!! XOXO!
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Thank you! I love you all and appreciate your kindness and support! I wish you all continued love, success, and joy in your lives!