Well...there it is...girls gone wild! Was it everything you expected and more? After seeing that episode, I realized I was right about the feelings of doubt I was having about Teresa and Melissa. They were clearly not my friends before we ever got to Vermont.
I was really upset when Teresa and Melissa brought up Strippergate to me and tried to turn it around on me. In fact, I was blown away. They both know the truth. I thought it was dirty that they teamed up to do that to me. I'm certainly not proud of the way I acted at dinner. I most certainly let my emotions get the best of me. I think we have all done that at least once in our lives. I have total strangers on social media outpouring their emotions at me at times, so imagine if you were actually emotionally invested in people that you have a tangible long history with. I do know now that I honestly reacted out of deep hurt. I honestly didn't know how else to be in that moment. I think I was in shock. I couldn't believe the things they were saying. My natural instinct is to strike back immediately in your face, while the other girls tend to strike back on the sly later when their feelings toward me end up in a tabloid under a "source." I choose to be a little more direct.
I first need to point out that Melissa relayed the message to Teresa all wrong and got her all riled up! I never said it's "Robin or me!" and I never said I felt threatened! I was more than willing to leave, but my friends convinced me to stay and told me Rage Girl was being asked to leave. I never said once that I felt intimidated or felt threatened by her. I never played the victim. I held myself accountable too. I said we were a bad mix. I know Rage Girl's reputation and I know what I am capable of and that I don't back down. There was also the fact that Rage Girl did threaten me several times, and she has a reputation of fighting. Teresa knew that, so I'm not sure why she played dumb to that. I was trying to avoid another fight with her.
I couldn't believe that after all I did to try to help mend that family and stuck by them through all of their ridiculous antics, that they would turn on me like that. The lies, the deceit, the lack of accountability and the deflection from Teresa and Melissa sent me over the edge. All I could think was... WOW, these people have NO INTEGRITY AT ALL! It was an eye opener!
I don't understand why Melissa ridiculously keeps making it so important to plant the seed that I'm so jealous of her relationship with Teresa when she knows that is so not me. Everybody knows that's not me. I'm not that way. If that were the case I would have never even encouraged a relationship between them in the first place or put my friendship on the line to try to get Teresa to see Melissa's point of view. My friendship with Teresa was shaken because of that. It was the beginning of the downward spiral of our friendship. I also encouraged Siggy to have a relationship with Teresa from the beginning, even when I was at a place of not trusting Teresa's sincerity in wanting a friendship with me. I told Siggy she would love Teresa! One relationship has nothing to do with the other. I don't hoard my friends...ever! LOL!
It is so calculating on Melissa's part because in one breath MElissa is trying to convince everyone I'm obsessed with being Teresa's bestie and in the next breath she's swearing to everyone that she believes in her heart that I hate Teresa. Sounds to me like MeLIESa still hasn't decided which way she wants to portray me. Silly little girl, just pick a strategy and stick to it. She's so transparent.
I cried with Siggy and Dolores before dinner, not just because of my PMS, but also because I came to the realization that all of this time I was being fooled. ONCE AGAIN, I had been trying to get myself to believe that Teresa was sincere about rebuilding our friendship of 15 years, but I started to realize that she was never sincere about it the second her soldiers started coming into the picture AGAIN. This is Teresa's MO. Bringing in soldiers is a pattern for Teresa. There's been Jan, Jen, Penny amd her husband, Kim D., Rage Girl, etc. etc. the list goes on. There is always someone there to be her voice and to do her dirty work so she can keep her hands clean. She's always scheming and then lying, and then never taking accountability, and then blame shifting. Doesn't she realize this is the kind of behavior that got her in all of her trouble in the first place? I just can't with her.
Did I love Teresa? Yes, like a sister, but that doesn't mean I agree with all of the things she says and does. It doesn't even mean I have to like her all of the time. She frustrates the crap out of me, BUT...there is a long history between us, which is why I was so hurt by her. I know I don't deserve to be manipulated and set up by her or her soldiers that don't give a crap about her and are just using her to ride her platform. I was frustrated that instead of her just giving our friendship a chance to be real and genuine and sincerely trying to rebuild it, she chose to surround herself around the wrong people to do her dirty work and be a voice for her. I, unlike some of the others, never wanted anything from her than just to be a friend and for her to be real with me. Unfortunately, I learned on that trip that she is incapable of having that relationship with anybody. That made me sad, especially with the long hard road she still has ahead of her.
For the record, Melissa has never admitted to me that she's had her nose done (I know through other sources), so it's not like I spilled a secret of hers, I mean, come on...I just stated the obvious. The reason I mentioned Melissa's nose jobs was not to expose her nose job(s), because I honestly think that has always been pretty evident to everybody that she clearly doesn't have the same nose she started with. That wasn't the point. I mentioned it because I was starting to realize what a liar Melissa is. I was having flashbacks to every time she lied about her nose jobs with a straight face and with such confidence. That ain't "contour," honey! As I looked at her, it disgusted me how easy it was for her to lie, and listening to her condescending voice annoyed me. I then started thinking about all the things she had told me in the past, and I started to wonder what else had she lied to me about. To be honest, there were some things Melissa told me that did affect my feelings toward Teresa. I was angry that I let this person manipulate me for so long. No more! I started to have the feeling that Melissa may also be the person in Teresa's ear causing problems between us as well.
Melissa was a huge disappointment. She's a sneak, a liar, and a manipulator. She is everything Teresa told me she was. She used me when she needed me in so many ways. Once she got her footing on the pedestal, she pushed me off (and Kathy) without even looking back, knowing I was someone who helped get her there.
All I asked was for Melissa and Joe to tell the truth. They both know I had zero involvement in Strippergate and that Teresa did. I saw Melissa tell Joe not to answer me. I just wanted an honest answer from one of them. It hurt me that they wouldn't do that, and I became more frustrated. I guess they felt the truth would not help Teresa, so they helped feed her lies. Teresa then took that opportunity to run with it, even while knowing her own guilt, as she made a calculated decision to push it off of herself and on to me. Typical Teresa style. That wasn't fair to me. Again, no integrity.
It was obvious that Teresa and Melissa banded together and decided to try to rewrite history together. I didn't bring up the past first...they did that. I just held them accountable for it. Teresa saying she wasn't involved in Strippergate or any other Melissa set up? Lie! Teresa saying she never hated Melissa or ever said anything bad about her? Lie! Teresa saying she never instigates and she would just walk away from confrontation? Lie! Someone rewind past seasons footage. She is DELUSIONAL! So who exactly was it that said Melissa was a lying, cheating, manipulating, gold-digging stripper who would leave her husband for a richer man? Refresh my memory.
I had to laugh when I saw Joe Gorga say he would never call his sister a criminal, like I did. I guess him calling his own sister "garbage" and "scum" is better? Got it!
When Teresa mentioned that I did things to Danielle, I also had to laugh. She is the one who flipped a table on her, instigated a fight with her, and chased her out of the country club. And how about all the jabs Teresa took at Caroline and her family in her cookbook and tabloids? There is a long list of people she has burned and left in the dust.
Am I the girl who sits there when I'm challenged? Hell to the no! Do I get vicious when I'm attacked? You better believe it! If Melissa actually had the guts to "break my finger" like she threatened me, I would have beat her with the other four. That's just how I play. Maybe it's something I need to work on. LOL!
Dolores gets this group and our history, whereas poor Siggy is just learning that us Jersey girls are cut from a different cloth. Dolores is right, don't feed the animals! When two or more of us in our group are fighting, it's probably best to just turn your head and walk the other way. Although I do feel Siggy's heart is in the right place. Dolores was right about something else too, Teresa and Melissa definitely lack the empathy gene! They are are like two heartless souls that don't care about anything other than themselves or whoever they feel can benefit them. Good riddance.
Stay tuned for the next episode!
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