Hi Everyone –
You know the saying -- Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…
Well, that's how I feel after everything that happened with Jacqueline on this episode. I really thought we were on the right path as friends, until that screwed up dinner.
Once again, when Jacqueline didn’t like the way things were going, she got really vicious and went right for the jugular with me and with Melissa. She didn’t like that Melissa didn’t take her side, so she hit way below the belt, just like she did at the beginning of the season when she invited me and Joe over that night. Who acts like that?
People asked me if I was afraid of her when she was screaming and spitting across the table. I wasn’t afraid of her at all! I was kind of laughing at her. She looked ridiculous.
Siggy (who is clearly not used to Jersey-style arguments!) told Jacqueline afterward that she had never seen her act like that and that that wasn’t the real her. I hate to break it to everyone, but guys -- you did get to see the real Jacqueline at that dinner. You also saw the real Jacqueline when she antagonized Robyn by sitting in her lap.
What I really didn’t like is that Jacqueline dredged up painful memories of things that happened a long time ago that took years to mend. What kind of friend does that? Like Melissa said on the episode, we aren’t going to let other people get between us anymore. Jacqueline tried to cause trouble between us, but it didn’t work at all.
I feel like Jacqueline ruined the trip for everyone. I felt bad that Siggy was so upset. And for Dolores to get mad the way she did, I knew she was beyond her breaking point, too. But, because I know Jacqueline so well, I know something not so great went down under that roof with Jacqueline when she was alone with Siggy and Dolores. I don’t know what that was, but Siggy and Dolores were way too upset about everything when they weren’t even the ones in the argument. I am betting that Jacqueline made them feel guilty that they didn’t have her back and leave the restaurant with her.
Here's the thing: I don't think anyone really understands what I've gone through in this past year -- and am still going through with my husband away. It has been really difficult, to say the least. And a friendship that's this much work is not something I need to put my energy towards. I have too many other things going on. I'm a single mother to four daughters. I also help take care of my parents, who are elderly and whose health is fragile. That's where my focus is right now.
I'm not sure if Jacqueline and I can ever be friends again. Not after this. Jacqueline called Melissa phony but wow, Jacqueline sure didn’t seem like she wanted to work things out after this episode. That seems pretty phony to me. She has attacked me too many times over the years. I have had enough.
She brought up my relationship with Kathy and Rosie several times on this trip. Maybe I'll have the energy to work on relationship with my cousins again in a few years because they're family. But right now everyone needs to understand and respect the seriousness of my situation. I have a lot on my plate and don’t have time for this negativity. It's just draining.
This was honestly one of our roughest episodes of all time -- and that's saying a lot! But one of the bright spots was how Melissa had my back -– not just when Jacqueline was firing upon her but afterward, too, when we were talking with Siggy and Dolores. I do think that deep down, Jacqueline feels threatened by my relationship with Melissa and that Melissa didn’t take her side. She accused me of having soldiers again. I don’t have soldiers. She does. She came up with that whole thing. I didn’t. If you aren’t on her side, then she gets really angry. You saw that for yourself.
When I broke down on the gondola ride, Melissa was really there for me, which I appreciate so much. I love her for that. She and my brother have had my back over and over.
During that gondola ride and during that whole nightmare of a trip, in the back of my mind, all I could think about was how Joe was going to be leaving me and the girls soon. So while Jacqueline was ranting and raving about "feeling threatened" by someone she clearly egged on, calling me and Melissa names and playing the victim, which she loves to do, I was thinking about how me and the girls were going to deal with the reality of Joe being away. Even though reliving this episode was hard, I did enjoy watching the scenes with Joe and the girls. That made me happy.
Stay tuned because next week there's much more drama to come!
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I love, love, love, love you all!