Siggy Flicker: I Would Rather Be Me Than Calculated, Condescending, and Dishonest

We’re almost halfway through the season, and all I can say is that the episodes are as surprising to me as they are to you. I don’t react without reason, and I refuse to blame my reactions on my hysterectomy or hormones.  

My reactions are in response to attacks. Attacks on what I hold dear. Attacks on my husband, my friends, my hysterectomy, my profession, and my mental state by a person who knows nothing about me and does not care about the consequences of her reckless attacks. Unless you have spotted the disjointed nature of some exchanges, you cannot reconcile my reactions without the nasty underhanded comments that prompt my responses. 

The camera doesn't lie. I shimmied (my real boobs), I stuck my tongue out, I teared up, I made faces, and I mentioned her cheap knockoffs.Why did I resort to such antics?

Margaret couches her attacks in dismissive language and snarky comments that cut to the bone, always focusing on her targets of choice (whether it be me or Dolores) insane, unhinged, hypocrite, follower, minion, yes girl, soggy.  If she were truly joking, she would use the same approach with all of us. She doesn’t. She focuses her special brand of attack on me. As soon as I respond, she immediately hones in on my profession. Up until this episode, I never mentioned her career or her less-than-fabulous brand.

Maya Angelou said it best: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them—the first time!” So let me remind you who Margaret showed me she was: calling my husband less of a man; excluding Dolores and me from the memorial; calling my foyer a shrine; calling me Soggy in the middle of my argument with Teresa and Melissa; weeks and weeks of constant attacks questioning my skill in my chosen profession. This from the woman I invited into my home and inner circle.

Let’s get back to this episode and my attempts to restart my relationship with Margaret. As soon as I walked into the Gorgas’ tasting, I was bombarded with questions about Dolores’ living arrangements. Wait, shouldn’t we be talking pasta? They all knew Dolores was on her way, so why not wait for Dolores?

Where's Dolores' Honey?

On the heels of the interrogation about Dolores, in slides Danielle asking Teresa if she believed that Dolores betrayed her. Of course, Melissa chimed in to vouch for Danielle yet again. When I said, “I’m sorry but in my opinion, I can’t see Dolores talking to you about Melissa, Margaret, Teresa, or Siggy,” Margaret inserted her incendiary opinion: “You know, calling Danielle a liar is very…crazy.” Really? 

As if diminishing Dolores as a minion, yes girl, and follower weren’t enough, now you’re calling her crazy—or was she calling me crazy again? I walked away, disappointed to say the least.

I overheard the snide comments Margaret made when Dolores arrived. Again, I said nothing. Joe Gorga approached us to ask what happened in Boca. While Dolores and I were answering his questions, Margaret and Danielle strolled over so Margaret could swipe at me about rehashing Boca.

After being hit at every past encounter about my profession, I finally responded with my opinion of Margaret’s business. That’s right—my comment was a response to the 97th dig at my profession. Call me crazy and unhinged all you want, but I would rather be me than calculated, condescending, and dishonest.

I have a great idea—let’s put the real back in The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

The most enjoyable part of this episode for me was my sit-down with my parents. Real is thinking that my son is disrespecting me, then along come my amazing parents. It's funny how life comes full circle. I left Israel and the safety of my parents to attend high school in New Jersey, and now I'm talking to my parents about how worried I am that Joshua may attend a college out of state. Now I understand how they felt, and it's difficult. As my father points out, my son is not being disrespectful but rather asserting himself, a rite of passage into independence. My mother adds that Joshua’s happiness is paramount.  My parents are the most amazing couple in the world. 

Thank you for tuning into this bumpy ride. Stay tuned as things come to a head.

XO

Siggy Flicker