Ask the Countess: Marriages and Money Drives

Countess,
I have a co-worker that is getting married in a few months. I have received an invitation to both her bridal shower and the wedding. This co-worker is extremely nosey, gossip stirring and a rumor starting individual. I speak with her because I am her supervisor and sit directly infront of her (facing each other) and have to. We are not friends and to be completely honest do not want to be. My questions are do I have to buy her a gift, and do I need to attend the two events? I think the office is going to chip in a purchase something. I do not even want to do that. What's your opinion Countess?
Cathy

Hi Cathy,
She sounds like someone you want to stay away from. I would send a group gift along with your fellow co-workers as I think its the polite thing to do and skip the two events. You will make her happy and I think you'll sleep better too. Sweet dreams!
The Countess

Countess,
I have moved into this small, sophisticated community and have been welcomed by the people I want in my life, not only for me but for my children as well. I didn't keep in touch with the families as well, for over a year, as I am learning now that I should have. My excuse, I am very new to networking and not only that but my education was put on hold due to having two more children in three years. Education is huge in this town so I don't feel as if I fit in as well when I first moved here. How can I reconnect with the "clique" or should I move on for now?
Young Mother

Hi fellow mom,
Sounds to me that you were already part of the clique. Start from there and let them know your back and want to reconnect. Invite them for coffee or drinks and invite their children. They welcomed you before so why wouldn't they again? Cheers!
The Countess

Everyone we know and has kids comes to us whenever their kid's school does a money drive, however we never asked them to donate to our son's school. I hate asking people for money and I don't want to be asked anymore, how do we handle that?
M

Hi m,
You don't have to buy from every school kid that comes to your door. Just say you're supporting your own son's school and politely decline. Be brave!
The Countess

Dear Countess,
I am confused. I was raised using American style table manners, and some of the practices of Continental dining contradict (two hands) what I always thought was proper. Do you have any advice?
MC

Hi MC,
There is nothing wrong with the American style of eating.. I prefer the Continental style as its easier and looks more refined. They are both proper. Bon appetit!
The Countess

Dear Countess de Lesseps,
I have been invited to a reception and dinner at an Embassy in Washington DC. I have never attended an event such as this. What are the key things you would recommend for me?
Thank you,
Pema

Hi Pema,
You should call the Embassy your going to as they all have certain protocols and all have protocol officers. This way you will be dressed appropriately depending on time of day. Always be simple and elegant by staying with classic looks. Don't forget to address the Ambassador as such. Have fun!
The Countess

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