Shutting It Down

Two weeks down and 12 to go! Last week, after episode one, I felt very defensive. I was so happy Andy invited me on his show to set some of the record straight. First, I could never hate Bethenny or not be happy for her. No matter what happens this season, I will always cherish the time we had together and wonder what would have happened if we didn't have a TV show with other housewives interfering and giving their opinions to both of us on and off screen. I think one housewife was motivated to keep us apart and keep herself on the show, but that will surface its ugly head shortly.

All the housewives use the speakerphone when they are filming. Often the camera is only filming one side (as with the Ramona call) and we put it on speaker so you can hear both sides. Don't you see me mouthing to LuAnn, "Hang up?" She didn't want me to. She knew Ramona was being mean and let it play out. She could have hit the end button anytime. I would never want to hurt her or anyone deliberately. I was very disappointed in Ramona. She knew if a speakerphone was on, it is possible someone is listening, but even if she didn't, SHE KNEW I WAS FILMING and that LuAnn would hear it anyway! Some of us like to make excuses that, "Oh, I didn't know anyone was listening." Not true. Remember Episode 1 of Season 2 when Bethenny was in the kitchen with me listening to Simon? Bethenny and I always did that together.

Shout out to an old friend Jennifer who happened to be at Ramona's. Thank you for shutting it down. Jen told me Bethenny was far meaner about Bobby and me and was trying to destroy me. I heard about that meal right after she left. Jennifer told us the horrible things she said about Bobby on camera ... Going back to the city I was livid. She wasn't there for me all summer, that's one thing, now she is telling people on camera mean and horrible things about "my Bobby"? She knew exactly why I was upset when she sees me the next time despite what is actually shown. I wish you could see all the "lost" footage from Ramona's house. She was supposed to be my friend. Even if we were in a little fight, I never saw that coming. But after I heard everything from Jennifer, I couldn't fake it. It just isn't me. If nothing else, I am real.

I think I will let some of the others nitpick the entire episode apart this week. It is too exhausting emotionally. I already lived it once, I don't want to relive it again. I promise, this is only Chapter 2. You need to finish "the book"!

On a happy note. Allyson has started to receive lots of college acceptances and it feels so goooood! All the hard work and sacrifice over the past four years has paid off. Now we will have to go revisit some of them to decide where she think she wants to go. Our final book secretsofajewishmother.com finally arrived and it is 300 pages! I almost died. What we are most proud of is that we actually wrote the book together. No ghostwriter. (Not that there is anything wrong with hiring a ghostwriter.) We spent the entire summer formatting our book on Real Advice, Real Stories and Real Love. It was originally planned at 250 pages, but our publisher Dutton loved it so much they increased the page count. We have chapter on everything from dating, marriage and beauty to education, career and money. I talk about my relationships this season with my castmates under friendship. There will be excerpts online soon but if you want to be the first to read it, PREORDER online at amazon.com, borders.com or barnesandnoble.com. I hear they ship it out as soon as they arrive from the publisher! You can be one of the first to read it. Of course send me your copy and I would be thrilled to autograph it for you or your Mom (friend, relative) for Mother's Day!

I will be on book tour and will continue to update it jillzarin.com and secretsofajewishmother.com I like to TWITTER silly photos and check out FACEBOOK for my daily updates!

See you next week!

Jill