Heather Defines Holla

Tonight we saw the first part of the two-part reunion show. If you were expecting drama on the level of the New Jersey ladies, then I am sorry that we may have disappointed you but I am happy that we did! But don’t be mistaken, there was a lot of tension in that room and I can tell you Sonja and LuAnn were unexpectedly primed. Unlike during filming, I felt an unexpected distance or separation if you will, from some of the ladies from the moment we sat down that I had never felt before. And, I could sense, this rollercoaster ride was in no way over.

But before I get into my perspective on Part 1, I would like to take this opportunity to explain why I use the term “holla” and what it means.

I will start by telling you that I did not "plan it" as part of my opening title line for the show, it happened while recording my line, "My success is built on making women look and feel there best." In the studio while recording it one of our producers said, "It feel like it needs a 'Heatherism' on the end? Maybe try ending it with something that comes organically to you and we’ll see how it sounds?" “Holla" naturally flowed out of me as a positive shout out to all the ladies who over the past 4 years have been rockin' and lovin' bought my Yummie Tummie products and it stuck.

Now I can’t go anywhere without out getting a "holla" from folks I meet on the street, to every tweet #holla and even from my closest friends, who say "holla" when I walk into a room. On Twitter, my newest Jewish friends shout out to me with a "challah" (which is a Jewish bread that is pronounced very much the same way as holla, that among other things, is traditional to Friday night dinner), wishing me a lovely Shabbat and I LOVE IT ALL! It's so fun and feel good! I have always used "holla" as a positive "shout out," or as an "acknowledgement" that I use with friends. Some use it as a follow up, i.e.: "Holla back when you can" when leaving a message. "Holla" is a term that I picked up years ago and whether I am 30 or 42, I use it when it feels right, but it has never defined me until the show aired.

LuAnn, who I actually became quite close to during filming never asked me what "holla" meant. Even after defining me as "gangsta chic," and I can only ascertain that she decided to "save it" for the couch. So, for LuAnn and for anyone else out there who does not already know, below please find a quick cheat sheet on the uses and definitions for how or why one can use "holla!"

Origin: "holla" is a common colloquial spelling/pronunciation of holler.

Holla as an interjection: a greeting. "Holla!"

Exclamation of celebration. "I got $257 in tips from last night. Holla!"

Holla as a verb: to talk to or to contact at some later time. "I'll holla at you later."

When trying to talk to or attract a member of the opposite sex; "hit on." "Every time I go to the mall, those fools be tryin' to holla." Or "Can I holla at you baby?"

To contact someone, e.g. via a telephone call, e-mail, cell phone text message, etc. Also holla back. Typically used as a request. "I'll see ya later. Holla!" OR Message left on an answering machine: "Well, I guess you're not home. Holla back at me when you get in!"

"Holla" can also be used as a goodbye, a request to contact someone. So "Holla," as goodbye means roughly, "Contact me later." "I'm leaving man. Holla."

Another topic discussed on the reunion couch that I want to approach is the process of borrowing clothing from designers. I wasn’t able to hold the floor long enough to give the proper answer to Andy and so I feel compelled to explain it now.

First and foremost, I was not present when said "dress borrowing" happened, so I cannot speak to the he-said she-said of it all, but as I am sure you are aware this practice has been going on since there were celebrities and designers who cared to dress them. And, it can happen in several ways. . .

Many designers like Valentino, Armani, or even Chanel have longstanding relationships with the actresses, celebrities, and VVIPs. The relationship is often so strong and personal that they communicate directly and the designer often creating a specific design and for the actress (think of Cher and Bob Mackie). And this process takes a lot of work and effort with fittings and the whole nine yards.

Another way it happens is through stylists. There are a lot of famous stylists who represent the celebrity, and will communicate with the design house and coordinate looks for a specific shoot, appearance, or red carpet event. Another way it can happen is through the celebrity’s publicist. The publicist will call the PR manager of a designer and coordinate it that way. Any way you slice it, it is a process but in the end, if it is done well -- both the celebrity and the fashion brand benefit from the exposure. And that is the very reason designers do it, is for the exposure.

Carole had a few points regarding this that LuAnn missed, because she took the incident so personally.

The first point was that Naem dresses VVIPs and often customizes his pieces for them. Her second point was that Life and Style Magazine did not give Naem Khan the exposure he covets for his collection. Carole felt that LuAnn asking for Naeem directly to loan her a dress, was out-of-line and put someone very close to her  in an awkward position while Naeem was being nothing more than a gracious host for his wife and her guest. In no way was Carole saying that LuAnn was not good enough for a Naem Kahn design and -- agree or not -- LuAnn chose to take it personally and did not reflect on Carole’s perspective at all.

Having said all of that before I let you go, I have to address the situation with LuAnn. As you know from watching every episodes and reading every blog that I have written, I have had nothing but support and love for LuAnn. I adored getting to know both LuAnn and Jacques during filming RHONY and quickly began to cherish the new friendship that we were building. Lu is a lot of fun, she is beautiful inside and out, we spent a good deal of time off-camera with our guys, and Jon and I grew very fond of her and Jacques.

Although the closeness remains, my frustration with LuAnn came to a head on the reunion as I continually encountered her inability to receive constructive criticism or even try to learn from others feedback. If LuAnn doesn’t like something that someone has said about her, then in her mind, it isn’t true. After St. Barths it had been building and on the couch it begins to come out.

I so desperately want LuAnn to be more open and accepting of others' thoughts and feelings because, ultimately, it will make her an even better person. Nobody’s perfect. We all have a need for attention and admiration from others, but LuAnn’s steady composure is shaken only when her confidence is threatened and she is very confidant, which can leads to a tendency of taking others for granted, and I will not allow her do that to me. We ALL have room to learn and to grow. We need to own our flaws and shortcomings, and work to improve ourselves as human beings through the experience or living and others perspectives and hopefully we can laugh a lot doing it!

As always, thank you for all of your support and feedback. To learn more about me and my shapewear go to Facebook, YummieLife.com, and HeatherThomson.net. You can also enjoy 10 percent off your next Yummie Tummie order by entering code "Iamheathert10" at check out. Don't forget to follow me on Twitter at @iamHeatherT and please visit donatelife.net to sign up to become an organ and tissue donor. Tune in next week for the big finale. I will be tweeting live during the show so HOLLA at your girl!!

XOXO
Heather