"Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment." -- Benjamin Franklin.
Sometimes I think that instead of calling our show The Real Housewives of New York City it should be called "Teachable Moments." It has been a learning experience. . .An apology, in my opinion, is putting a relationship and another persons feelings before your own ego. It is about making a wrong right. I take an apology very seriously whether I am giving one or receiving one. An apology propels us forward and enables relationships to evolve, grow, and fosters trust. When I apologize, I mean it through words and by actions. It is not about winning, losing, or keeping score.
Tonight I apologized to Ramona and Sonja for the way I spoke to them in St. Barths. I was wrong to allow my emotions get the best of me. As a result, not only did I hurt people, but my message was lost. I have really learned my lesson and only wish that I had sincerely apologized sooner.
Seeing myself get over-emotional I know that I have to take a break before I speak. I need to give myself time to process what is going on and how to reconcile the given situation at hand before I offer my own contribution. I see in retrospect how my emotion sometimes blurred my perspective and how I shared it. My problem was that I often said what I was thinking instead of thinking about what I was saying.
While we are on "apologies". . .I want to apologize for the constant talk of my "leg" and phobias. It appears that I talk about it all the time and I am truly sorry for boring many viewers with what appeared to be repetition. My goal when mentioning these subjects at all was to help others by raising awareness. For those annoyed by the seemingly redundant speak -- you will no longer hear about it. For those who I have helped, I am just an email/Facebook message/tweet away. Thank you to many viewers who simply gave love.
l would like to mention a point about ex-husbands. For the purposes of this show, I chose to discuss and portray my ex-husband on camera in the most positive light for the sake of our child. It is my prerogative to discuss what I choose about my ex-husband as it is Sonja's to discuss hers. While we handled the subject very differently, I think the better course would be to not discuss other peoples exes/divorces without invitation. The stakes are just too high where children are involved.
In recognizing that I made mistakes this season I turned to inspiration and found this important and beautiful quote from Mary Parker Follett:
"What people often mean by getting rid of conflict is getting rid of diversity, and it is of utmost importance that these should not be considered the same. We may wish to abolish conflict, but we cannot get rid of diversity. . .Fear of difference is fear of life itself."