I was a jerk. It was a pretty tough week for me in St. Barths. I own all of my behavior and I am not going to blame anything on editing or some other BS excuse. I do want to give a little more background and rationale for some of my outbursts.
I heard that one of the women might ask Reid to leave when he arrived. So when I heard Reid, who I was so grateful to for making this trip, was potentially going to be mistreated, combined with the fact that my nerves were frayed from the plane ride, I lost it. Additionally, attacking my husband is like attacking my children. The mama bear came out in me.
I am a little sick of hearing myself say that the world should have thrown a party for me getting to St. Barths. My problems are certainly no worse than anyone else's, and I have no right to impose them on anyone. I get that I sometimes get a little dramatic and sarcastic. The point I was trying to make (that I wished my friends were happier to see me than upset that they would catch a glimpse of Reid here and there) has been long lost. I found myself annoying to watch through the last two episodes!! Cringeworthy. I own it! I own it! I own it! Here I was with my little anxiety while Carole was suffering with memories of her late husband and the plane crash in which her friends perished. Seeing the real pain on the island that Carole was going through really put everything in perspective. Carole certainly carried herself much more elegantly than I did. I am so grateful that she saw my point of view with such grace, compassion, and empathy. It is rare for someone to be able to really feel others so beautifully. I am lucky to have a friend like Carole as she is quite an example of quiet dignity and reason.
Clearly, the only banner the girls should have hung in my honor was "AVIVA WAS A PAIN IN THE ASS IN ST. BARTHS." Next time I need to leave my anxiety on the tarmac.
Thanks for tuning in!