What I Want to Write About vs. What I Need to Write About

I want to write that I think it would have been hilarious if they superimposed our dog's heads on top of our bodies and renamed the show: The Bitches of Coto. Maybe second season, although we will have to find a new dog for Jo -- she gave her two away. The rest of us continue to be hopelessly in love with our doggies. (Too bad it wasn't this episode, then Smokey would have had to put $20 in the family cussing jar for mouthing the "s" word instead of me.) I need to write about sun protection. The beach is beautiful from 3:30 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. During summer days, children and teens love the indoors of the Science Museum, Twyla Tharp or any other matinee at the Orange County Performing Arts Center, singing Karaoke, fixing and serving lunch with the Dorothy Day House (a nationwide, very impressive program for the homeless), indoor laser tag, indoor rock climbing, Dana Point's Ocean Institute and, our old standby, The Marine Mammal Rescue Center on Laguna Canyon Road. I wear some very attractive sun protective clothing you can find at sunprecautions.com or alexandme.com. Choose long sleeves and long sarongs. (You don't see the Bryants wearing these on the show because they aren't exactly sexy.) Mystic Tan looks pretty good. I also like some of the newer gradual tan lotions, L'Oreal has a nice one, less streaking. Our family slathers on sunscreen every morning. I haven't sunbathed for 19 years neither should anyone reading this.

I want to write about Jeana and Kara's sex talk hat. It could be a new psychological tool. The "conversation hat" could help families to avoid eye contact while asking some provocative questions. There could be a variety of illustrations on the brim to help disseminate accurate information. It would certainly keep the margins of our Wall Street Journal from having home drawn sperm -- polliwogs and splitting eggs, etc. (Travis asked some questions about fraternal and identical twins.) I haven't yet had to tackle the "How does the sperm meet the egg?" The "conversation hat" could keep the margins of our WSJ from becoming X-rated.

I need to write that sunglasses can keep you or your children from having your eye sewn shut for 2 months while a graft heals after they remove 1/2 your lower eyelid due to skin cancer. It doesn't hurt, it just leaves your eyes a little crooked. Our brains are amazingly adaptable. After three weeks, the good eye compensates and you can drive, play golf, etc. Despite my "off" eyes, I still have to nag Bianca and Travis to wear their sunglasses.

I want to write that Vicki should be hired by Disney as a new female villainess. The "Hello Princess" followed by the soft, eerie voice as she pets Briana's new green sweatshirt and asks, "Did you miss me?" has been rewound and replayed numerous times in our household. We can laugh hysterically because we know how strong Vicki and Briana's relationship is in real life.