Rules to Live By

Rules to Live By

Gretchen talks about Alexis and Jim's relationship, her confrontation with Tamra, and more.


OK, I know some of you appreciate the longer blogs and some of you don’t, but typing and writing is very easy for me and I love to express myself with words. So for all of you who enjoy my intimate thoughts about the episode, thank you, for those of you that don’t and complain it is too long, I have a thought, DON’T READ IT THEN! I say that with a smile on my face.

Well, let me start by saying that I just love and adore Jim and Alexis and actually admire their relationship so much, therefore it was weird to see me have such a different point of view in this episode, but I realized that I was being asked questions about them during a period when I did not know them yet. We had only been around each other a few times and at that point there had been no indication or conversation about their religious beliefs. I hope not, but assume there might be a few more times where I stick my foot in my mouth based off of not knowing them on that intimate level yet. For instance, the comment about the “fishing lures" on Alexis. When asked the uncomfortable question about what I thought about when Alexis said they "don’t allow temptation into their marriage," all I could think about was what Slade had made a funny about on camera when I returned home from lunch with Alexis. I told him what she was saying about temptation, and that was when he made the statement about the “fishing lures on the front of her” and how it could look contradictory. I guess I thought it would be a lighthearted way to answer an uncomfortable question, but I don’t think it came across that way and I regret what I said. The questions I was asked in my interviews were very one sided regarding their religious beliefs and how it could look contradictory. I was asked a lot about their beliefs because I was the one privy to that talk with Alexis. I would have never even had an opinion about it or questioned if they were “godly” if I didn’t has not been asked those specific questions. I was answering based on my knowledge of their relationship at that time. At the time Alexis and I had lunch I really didn’t know her yet and I feel it was really crappy to be asked questions about their beliefs and if they were “godly” in my interviews, because I had limited knowledge at that point.

I FEEL COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOW ABOUT JIM AND ALEXIS and how their relationship works and if they are “godly” people! For the record they are very godly people! For goodness sakes, we have gone to church together. I have grown up in the church and am a Christian myself, so for it to look as though I was disgusted by Jim being a godly man, or disgusted by the way they chose to have their relationship, bummed me out. I was actually agreeing with a lot of what Alexis said -- I was raised the same way in the church. Alexis knows I was agreeing with her because she was at the lunch with me, but of course I'm only shown playing the devil’s advocate because I couldn’t relate to some of the things she was saying. For instance, I had never been in a relationship where the rule was we never traveled apart. I was more intrigued as to why they believed that way than I was judging the concept. I think on camera I came across as judging her marriage because of my reactions to her comments, but God knows I am the last to ever judge another person because of how much I have been judged in my life. Like I said before, their relationship is very commendable. Being around them the last six months has made me realize how great some of those “rules to live by” could work for my own marriage/relationship.


My cast mates and I know all too well that the questions they ask in the interviews sometimes don’t show an entire response. I also would never roll my eyes or make weird looks about anyone saying things in regards to God in their relationship, maybe about some other things, but not about God. I cannot emphasize how much I think having God as a part of your marriage/relationship is important. I know all too well how much it can affect a marriage in a negative way without those roots grounded in Christ.

I was so excited to go to my motorcycle classes this summer, because I really wanted to get on the bike Jeff surprised me with and prove to myself I could do it, and also make Jeff smile in heaven! It was a really long weekend, 10-hour days and it was so dang hot out there, but I learned a lot and was pretty surprised at how good I was on a bike. I grew up riding dirt bikes in the desert so I had a clue, but getting on a 700 pound Harley is a little different. My Dad owns a motorcycle shop called Scotts Performance Products (go visit his site for more info and he taught me how to ride bikes, but I must say my parents were even a little nervous about the Harley Jeff bought me. My Dad has won the Baja 1000 many times before and that is a huge accomplishment in the motorcycle world, so I think he is the best teacher a girl could have! I loved riding dirt bikes as a kid, but never expected to grow up and be a “Harley Chick!” That day in class was a special accomplishment for me and I know it would have made Jeff proud. I am very competitive when it comes to sports, so I was super excited when I kicked Slade’s butt in the class as well J

I must say Lynne looks amazing after her surgery, but holy smokes the woman is brave! I don’t know if I would of done that! I hope that by trying to do preventative maintenance that I never have to go under the knife ... OMG that looks sooo painful! I’m all about doing what makes you look and feel good, so good on Lynne! I have never had any plastic surgery yet, but I am not against it at all! I rather try to avoid it if I can, but believe me when things start going south I am going to be on that bed just as quick probably. In the meantime I started the Gretchen Project ( to find the latest and greatest in the industry of cosmetic beauty. We have a sweepstakes coming up this month for the New Year, called “Make me the Gretchen Project” and six lucky winners will get a complete makeover including $4,000 dollars in cosmetic treatments and an exclusive package from my new make-up line “Gretchen Christine Beaute” So be sure to join the contest!


The deal with Tamra and me just goes on and on and on it seems! WE are so over this! Unfortunately we are forced to re-live those moments by watching these episodes and discuss them in our blogs, so remember this part of my blog will be coming from that time and place only. As you can see, I was obviously hesitant to go to that meeting and also to be too quick to forgive and forget! I decided to forgive but not forget, and this is why you see me say I wasn’t ready to take down my blog from my website ( ) I wasn’t ready to take it down because I still did not trust Tamra and her motives. At the time I believed she didn’t want my blog up because it called her out on a lot of her “stories." It made no sense to have her false stories out there without my side.I tried for so long to take the high road, but it had just affected me too much. I also wasn’t about to allow her to convince me that just because she all of a sudden wanted to be friends that I should just allow the truth to be lost. You see, my blog can be taken down, but her accusations and words to the press will always be in cyber space. Once it is printed it is forever available on the internet. I only posted my blog on my personal site, so I don’t know what she is talking about when she says I posted it all over the net. Maybe people chose to copy it and paste it on other sites, but I did not post it anywhere but my personal blog. I do however remember thinking it was telling when she said if I didn't take down the blog, she wouldn’t be able to move forward with me. I laughed inside and thought, 'Is she serious?' I thought for goodness sakes, if she really wanted to work it out, a damn blog wouldn’t matter one bit. If she had been sincerely sorry for making those accusations, then she would have understood why I wanted my truth to be out there, especially after all the things she said and accusations she made. I didn’t hear those words at that time and sadly I believe she was more concerned about the blog being up and exposing her lies than actually being friends and working things out with me! I wish I felt different then, but it confirmed my feelings when I heard her say in this episode that she keeps her friends close, but her enemies closer, which is what she was doing with me. So technically to her that meeting did nothing but confirm that we were “best enemies” obviously not “best friends” ... right? Unfortunately, it just showed me again that to my face she was being one way, but behind my back she was being another. So I guess when she says, “A liar is a liar is a liar,” I can only assume based on her actions that she was describing herself.

Like I said before, that was a different time and place and A LOT has transpired since then -- including an apology to me. Let’s hope that things continue to get better between Tamra and me and that the relationship can ultimately be repaired one day! We certainly both have made steps in that direction.

Did I mention that this stinks having to relive this drama with the woman!?

'Til next week.

Gretchen Christine

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