Stassi: Doing The Right Thing With Jax

I was very disappointed that Scheana spoke to Lisa about Schwartz and Shay’s fight. I consider Tom a very great friend of mine, as he is my best friend's boyfriend. I was very excited to hear that Tom finally had made the decision that he wanted to throw himself into the storm that is SUR.

Regardless of our friendship, he's one of the smartest people I know and such a hard worker. He is relatively drama-free and totally laid back. Had he gotten the job, he would have been an excellent addition to the SUR team. With that said, I haven't understood Scheana's need to put a damper on each of our work situations. She ran to Lisa about the tooth thing, which affected my work relationship with my boss, and now she's doing it again with Tom. Why the need to run to our boss with problems that have absolutely nothing to do with work?

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When we found out that Tom didn't get the job at SUR, Scheana swore up and down that she had nothing to do with it, and then to see it on TV that she was lying seeeeerrrriously bothered me. She needs to focus more on herself and less on everyone else. Why ruin a job opportunity for someone? I'm dying to know what she is getting out of this, because it seems very wrong to me.

My work at The Divine Addiction is very important to me as I've been writing there for over two years. I was there from the beginning and watched Pandora start this business. Her passion for the site is inspiring and I feel honored to have played a part in the making of this website.

Pandora gave me the job after I interned at a production company where she used to work. She read my writing, had long conversations with me about my love of fashion, and gave me an opportunity to showcase my writing. The writers on this site are all very passionate about what they do, and they were all carefully selected. I had never heard Scheana ever mention an interest in writing or being a part of that, and I felt like it made a mockery of the site. Why don't we bring my nine-year-old brother on, too, while we're at it?! And after everything that had just previously gone down with her, in particular her running to Lisa and Pandora about our private matters, it felt like just another thing that Scheana wanted of mine. I could be wrong, but that's simply how I felt. She had already caused drama at SUR for me, and now she wanted to come in on the one thing that's mine?

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I wanted to confront Scheana to try and understand everything. And when I said, "Aren't you a singer?" She responded by pointing at her sprained foot. Whattt??? Okay, so because you sprained your ankle, that means you can no longer sing, and, therefore, must begin a writing career? Am I missing something here? In my opinion, she had nothing valid or interesting to say. She sprained her ankle, Pandora mentioned she should write for the site, and Scheana obliged. Cool, got it, glad I cleared that up. I didn't go into the conversation with the intention of making her quit, I just wanted to hear what she had to say for herself.

When Jax asked me out, I was thinking, "Ummm, I'll go to dinner with you, but it's not a date." I felt conflicted. I didn't want to lead him on, but it seemed important to him for us to meet one on one outside of work. I still don't know if going to dinner with him was the right thing to do.

It wasn't a date. I know everyone wants it to be, but I made it perfectly clear that it was not. When I explained to him how I felt, I realize it probably came off a little harsh, but that was exactly how I felt. People have to realize that so, so much has happened that led me to that point. I don't sugar coat anything. I didn't and dont trust him, and I'm not in love with him. I felt like I had to be honest. I was trying to build a friendship with him, but I realized that wasn't fair to him because it made him feel like there was a chance when there never was. It's always hard seeing someone break down, but I just kept trying to remind myself that when we were together, I had broken down so many times over things he did to me, and he never flinched. I didn't want to feel bad for someone who has done terrible, terrible things to me.

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The tattoo would only have changed the timing on things. A tattoo doesn't change feelings. I may have been a little more apprehensive to tell him to move on, but I had to do it at some point. There is never a right time for these things.