Do you love your dog more than your partner? Do you prefer your dog’s company to that of any of your friends? Do you call your dog your fur baby, and get offended when people say she’s not an actual child?
Guess what, you’re normal. And now there’s scientific evidence to prove it.
According to a recent study published in Society and Animals, people feel more empathy for their dogs than they do for other humans.
In the study, people were asked to watch a fake news clip in which a victim was involved in a brutal attack — alternately a puppy, a six-year old dog, a one-year old baby and a 30-year old person.
Unsurprisingly, study participants felt the most empathy for the puppies and the human babies, probably because they were the most vulnerable.
We have some additional theories for why we love dogs more than most humans.
1. They can’t annoy you on the subway.
Hell is other people on the subway in New York. They get in your personal space. They eat crunchy things. They clip their fingernails. They listen to their music too loudly. They poop in their pants and then apply lipstick to their faces (seriously, I saw that once). Dogs aren’t even allowed on the subway unless they’re in a bag. And a dog in a bag? Come on, freaking adorable!
2. They can’t talk about you behind your back.
You think your best friend will be your best friend forever, and then you find out she’s been telling your other friends she doesn’t even like you. Guess what, that will never happen with a dog because a dog can’t talk in human language. They talk in barks. And the only sorts of barks that humans understand are, “There’s danger!” “I’m excited!” and “I want to eat what you eat!” So you can rest assured that wherever your dog is, at the very least, he or she is not talking about you.
3. They can’t ghost you over text.
One of the worst things about human relationships is the control people can gain if they merely start ignoring you. It’s like, what, you read it, but you have nothing to say? You can’t even respond with a, “I don’t like you, stop bothering me?” Now I have to wonder? With dogs, you never have to wonder because they don’t have thumbs, so they can’t text in the first place. And also, if there’s one thing that’s clear, it’s that your dog absolutely loves you.
4. They can’t pretend their life is awesome on Instagram even though you know their life is completely boring.
Ughhh, it’s the worst when you know that your friend completely financially supports her live-in BF who doesn’t even have a job, but on Instagram, she’s always posting photographs of herself trying on diamond rings she pretends he buys her in stores. What, you don’t have a friend like that? Neither does your dog. Because your dog’s only friend is you, and she doesn’t need to pretend her life is awesome because her life is awesome, you just gave her a bite of your lunch.
5. Dogs can’t vote.
You know how you had that friend when you were little whom you used to go trick or treating with every year, and yesterday he posted a long diatribe defending Roy Moore on Facebook? Guess what that friend is not your dog, firstly because your dog probably hasn’t been alive that long, and secondly, because your dog doesn’t give a crap. When you turn on political talk shows, all your dog sees is juicy steaks and bright colors. A dog is not allowed to vote. And, if he could vote, his only vote would be for you to give him a belly rub. Right now.
And those are the top five reasons why dogs are so much easier to love than humans.
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