Does it seem that every single one of your friends (and everyone else around on the planet) has found their perfect mate – except you? It’s time to fess up and see if you’re guilty of making any of these classic dating mistakes that are keeping you from finding your own significant other.
1. Your list of expectations is unrealistic
You know how it reads: You have to have a guy who is over six ft. tall. And makes seven digits. And graduated Magna Cum Laude from his Ivy League school.
“These are not traits to pick a mate on,” exclaims matchmaker Susan Trombetti, who hosts the How To Find Love Dating Bootcamp. According to studies, only 14.5 percent of men in America are over 6 ft. tall, “so you’re excluding almost 90 percent of the population!” When it comes what should be on your list, “pick someone who treats you well, who is kind to dogs, kids, waitresses,” and shares the same values and morals as yourself. This is much more important in the long run than superficial qualities.
2. You approach the first date like a business deal
You didn’t realize it, but you wore your business clothes to meet him and then grilled him like he was on a job interview.
“You’re trying to fill that literal list right up front,” says Susan. While it is important to find out what traits and values you do have in common, “You don’t have to find out all about him in that first few hours – you’re there to have fun and leave him wanting him more.”
3. You refuse to date men with children
So you’re the type to filter out men with kids on your dating app because no one wants to deal with potential baby mama drama.
“You shouldn’t be making these sweeping generalizations,” says Susan, who has personally experienced being involved with a man with children. “First of all, it can be kept in check, if there’s any drama at all.” A man with kids can be more open, honest and ready to be back in a committed relationship, and if he has a daughter, he may be more aware of how he treats women over all too. And you may get the chance to give and experience even more love in your life.
4. You are kind of a b*tch
Your friends may never tell you, but there’s a thin line between being assertive, and just being a total nightmare.
“You never say thank you to him, you’re not nice to others, you’re nasty to his friends, fight in public and embarrass people,” Susan says. Just like you want to be valued and respected in a relationship, so does he. If you’re not sure of your worst qualities, “Have a friend anonymously collect from your inner circle what behaviors are the most jarring. They know – they’ve seen you in action.”
5. You’re just not out there to meet men
“You have to be around men if you want to meet one,” Susan says.
That means getting dressed and heading out of the house once in a while. Not sure where to start? Why not sign up for a hobby you enjoy? You’ll be doing something you love, and have a built-in opportunity to meet a guy who shares one of your favorite interests.
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