Beyond Bravo

Does Playing Hard To Get Even Work Anymore?

With people ripping through dating apps, where do you stand if you stand back?

Playing hard to get can be described by the following: having limited availability, sounding busy, being hard to get a hold of, seeking attention (but then disregarding it), and showing initial interest (then it wanes).

So how does playing hard to get affect your desirability as a date, sex partner, or relationship partner, if a potential mate can just swipe right and move on to the next. Does it even work anymore?

According to Psychology Today, people asked to rate their interest of potential partners who were described as either “very easy to get (low availability), very hard to get (high availability), or in between (medium availability), preferred very easy to get partners for short-term sex, but preferred partners who had medium availability for dates and relationships.”

So if you want a long-term relationship, then yes, playing hard to get still works. The good old chase. According to PT, playing hard to get made someone more desirable as a date or relationship partner. In addition, it can be a good way to test a crush’s level of interest and commitment.

But playing hard to get is a delicate dance that must be played just right. 

It involves pulling the potential partner in and then pushing them away, without completely turning them off or losing them. 

Here are some things people do on purpose when playing hard to get: they don’t express many emotions (but don’t be mute), flirting with other people, withholding sex, act busy, turn hot and cold, give attention then disappear, act disinterested, and take a long time to respond to calls and texts, or not responding at all. 

Just don’t go totally cold, or someone who may have been a good mate for you will get tired of the head games and move on.

It also depends on your age and life circumstances. Sometimes you just meet “the one” and the timing is right and there’s no need to play the game. 

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