Advice

Is Being a Bridesmaid Anti-Feminist?

You're being ordered around. Is it wrong?

Anyone who has been a bridesmaid will willingly admit that it can be a headache. What’s seen, at first, as an honor between friends, can turn into a role where the bride stands on her imaginary pedestal and orders her squad of bridesmaids to do some pretty ridiculous things. We’ve all heard the tales of bridezillas ordering their friends to lose weight, purchase an overpriced, ugly bridesmaid dress, or stay hydrated with lots of alcohol so they can make sure the party is not a snooze fest.

But as the world changes, is the role of being a bridesmaid outdated? Even worse, is it anti-feminist? It just might be a modern day woman’s way of taking a step back in time.

1.  Following tradition

The ancient myths talk about the bridesmaid tradition as one that’s suited for young, unwed women. Though the role of a bridesmaid has changed over the years, it’s still rooted back to the days when the role meant being there for the bride to help her ward off evil spirits. It’s outdated and a tradition that’s grown to take on so many rules that seem absurd.   

2.  Catching the bouquet doesn’t help

While catching the bouquet is not exclusively just for bridesmaids, it’s open to any female wedding guest who doesn’t have a diamond ring on her finger. Yet, why is that single females have to crowd a dance floor, while their married gal pal tosses a bunch flowers into the air, so that one “lucky” woman can catch it and then be the next to get married? Why don’t the single guys do this? Or, why don’t people dump a tradition that isolates women and makes them a spectacle at a wedding.

3.  It’s a lot different than being a groomsman

Being a bridesmaid is nothing like being a groomsman. Bridesmaids are expected to sometimes shell out a lot more cash as a member of the bridal party. Whether it’s on a particular dress, or on professional hair and makeup – so they all look practically identical – and on multiple pre-wedding parties (like the bachelorette party and bridal shower), it gets expensive. Groomsmen, on the other hand, are just responsible for a tuxedo, or suit, plus a bachelor party.

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