What's Up With Joint Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties? A Lack Of Trust, Or Is It Fun?

“I never understood those movies where a bunch of guys take out their friend who’s getting married," one bride said.

Deidre, who married Andre last summer, knew she wanted her then-fiancé to have a bachelor party. She also knew that she was going to be at the bash.

“I never understood those movies where a bunch of guys take out their friend who’s getting married, and then have to spend the next 72 hours bailing him out of God knows what,” she says.

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Instead, the Houston-based couple decided to have a joint roller skating party a few days before their ceremony. “We found a place with free admission and we paid for all our friends’ skates,” says Deidre. The couple even threw their own afterparty at a nearby club, “so people could get grown and sexy afterwards if they wanted to, just without my husband in tow.”

There has been a rise in joint celebrations simply because “they’re more fun,” declares millennial wedding expert Racquel Kristi, the creator of PopBliss. The company, which hosts surprise pop-up weddings for groups of strangers, is adding its own version of a joint bachelor/bachelorette party to their wedding services starting in 2018.

“The largest portion of the marrying market at this time are millennials,” Raquel says. “This demographic particularly loves to embrace their independent side and for that reason, they love doing things different from what is known as the norm or tradition.”

Raquel also explains that there are many more mixed bridal parties, with men of honor and groomswomen. “Because the friend circles are mixed, it only makes sense to mix the festivities too,” she shares. “It’s fun to embrace each other’s friends, which are probably shared by the time they are at this stage anyway, and to all have a good time together.”

That good time just might take a daring couple to a tropical location. “We call this theme Gilligan’s Island because they embrace the feeling of getting lost at sea. The groups normally have joint accommodations and celebrate most of their vacation together, going to excursions, beach parties, bar hopping, even house parties,” Raquel reveals.

Of course, a joint bachelor/bachelorette party can also go horribly awry, just like it did for Vanderpump Rules castmembers Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney-Schwartz. They spent most of their joint celebration in New Orleans in a fight before tying the knot last August. Raquel says that getting too emotional at a joint venture is a big don’t.

“Remember you are in front of a larger group of people who have different personalities and are having a good time,” she says. “Keep your composure if something bothers you or if you get wedding jitters.” She also advises choosing your guests wisely and making sure that the event’s theme is universal enough to welcome all.

Whatever you do, do not host your event the day before your wedding. “Your wedding day will be long and will take a lot of energy. The last thing you want is to have a hangover and for your guest to feel the same way.”

And if you do have a fight because you spent your bachelor/bachelorette party together, you may need that down time to remind yourself why you two are getting hitched in the first place.

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