It’s holiday time. That means Aunt Judy’s singing carols (badly) after too much eggnog, and Uncle Fred’s trying to kiss anyone (who’s not Aunt Judy) under the mistletoe. The worst part? It’s all unfolding in front of your significant other. Strap on your snow boots, here are just a handful of ways families have embarrassed us and our partners during the holidays.
LaToya, 29, from New York, says, “I was bringing my new boyfriend for the first time to my eldest sister’s home. I had mentioned to her that he was pretty religious, where our family is a little more relaxed on our church going. But she wanted to make him feel at home, so when he arrived, she had turned the TV to some 24-hour Christian ministry channel. She asked him to bless the food, which wasn’t so bad. Then she joked, ‘can you throw in a message of me not gaining any holiday weight, since you have a direct line to the Father?’ And then she gave him a holiday present: a book on angels. That was pretty much the last straw for him. He refused her gift and stormed out.”
Dave, 36, from upstate New York, “I recall the first conversation I ever had with my wife’s aunt 14 years ago, right around the holidays. She made me get on the phone and asked if I liked Madonna. My wife hadn’t warned me how much her aunt really loved her. When I said, ‘not really’ she groaned in disgust and said, ‘I'll see you at f***ing Christmas!’”
Gabriella, 33, from Connecticut: “I was pretty nervous about bringing my boyfriend to my grandmother’s home, because she just says whatever is on her mind. I actually asked her, ‘Can you just not say much,’ before we arrived. She obliged, through a champagne toast and dinner. And then we got to dessert. My boyfriend had made an apple pie to share with my family. He put it on the table in front of her, picked up a knife and started to cut a piece when my grandmother snatched the knife from his hand and said, ‘Don’t you know anything about cutting a pie?’ and proceeded to do it herself. I was mortified.”
Heather, 27, from New Jersey: “During our Christmas family dinner, my aunt wordlessly took her glass of cold water and placed it gently against her cheek. My boyfriend, who thinks he’s a comic genius, thought he’d get in on action. He placed his glass against his face and said, ‘This is how we're going to toast from now on.’ Still holding her glass, my aunt glared at my boyfriend for a moment and then said, ‘So, do you really like making fun of my hot flashes?’”
Eric, 44, from Brooklyn: “The first time my mother met my now-wife over the holidays, she told her ‘My mother used to say a man would have sex with a donkey if it didn't rip the sheets.’ Then, as an aside, she said, ‘It sounds better in Italian.’”
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