It can be one of the most annoying tasks of a wedding celebration: making the guest list. Do you really have to invite every fourth cousin on your husband-to-be’s side? How about co-workers? And mutual friends who once dated, but are no longer a couple?
That was the situation that Deanna, 29, found herself in. One of her bridesmaids had been dating Deyanna’s friend Reginald, but the two broke up right before Deyanna sent out invitations. “He wasn’t one of our closest friends, but he was in the circle we ran with,” Deyanna, a lawyer from Augusta, Ga., explains. “Since Gina was actually in my wedding party, I thought it would be best not to extend Reginald an invitation–ditch any drama before it even became an issue.”
A tight budget can also determine wedding guest limitations. Just make sure when you say only immediate family to a party, you actually mean it.
Sara shares how her father’s best friend of 50 years wasn’t invited to the family dinner the night before her stepsister’s wedding, which would have been fine, “if they didn’t have it in the hotel where my father’s friend was staying.” There was her father’s friend, sitting at the bar, staring in at the dinner, to which another family friend had been invited to. “It was so awkward and embarrassing,” Sara,45, says. “If it were up to me, I would have marched in the kitchen and demanded we add another plate.”
What may go down as one of the most infamous “not invited to the wedding guest” list is the upcoming nuptials between Rob Kardashian and his pregnant girlfriend Blac Chyna. The two may leave out Rob’s own sisters Kim Kardashian and Kylie Jenner since Kylie is dating Chyna’s son’s father Tyga, and Kim, who used to be besties with Chyna, took her sister’s side.
Etiquette expert Samantha von Sperling of Ask Sam declares that would be a big faux pas.
“They need to grow up,” Samantha exclaims, adding that immediate family should always be invited to the wedding. “You’re joining two families together and to start off on a bad note because some family wasn’t invited to the wedding is never a smart move.”
For the wedding on a budget, Sam suggests telling friends/co-workers/second cousins left off the list, in person. “Not via an email or text or on social media,” she instructs. “Let them know due to budget constraints, it’s only going to be immediate family, and you truly wish they could be there for your special day.” Do not solicit for gifts if they aren’t invited. Sam also proposes hosting a scaled down celebration with your friends at your favorite bar. “You can buy the first round of margaritas for everyone.”
And for that crazy uncle who ruins everyone’s wedding—how do you get out of inviting him? Sam has two suggestions. “One, Elope,” she says with a laugh. “Or do a destination wedding so far away no one will come!”
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