’Tis the season to be harassed by each and every one of your family members and married friends that are back in town for the holidays as to why you are still single.
Other than the select few days you're back in town around the people you share a last name with, you might have been able to sneak through the year without much interrogation over your dating life, or lack thereof. So when you find yourself stepping off the plane or opening the car door into a festering family setting, where everyone is probing about your single status, here's how to handle it.
1. Buy a pair of earplugs
Stop by your local drugstore and pick up a pair of the heavy duty kind. The ones you'd buy if you had to spend the night next to a chronic snorer or took a plane ride while sitting next to a screaming baby.
Or buy yourself a pair of noise canceling headphones and put them on when your relative start asking you questions about whether or not you're going to freeze your eggs.
2. Put together a one-sheeter
Take the more active and adult-like approach by putting together a one-page print out of all your 2016 accomplishments. When people start to pity you because you haven't found “the one" show them all the things you've found instead (ex: a promotion at work, a new car you paid for by yourself, etc.)
3. Ask them to manage your dating life
When the people around you start telling you that you are going about your dating life the very wrong way, toss the responsibility of having to swipe right and respond to messages online on them. If they think online dating is so easy, let them spend a few hours on your dating apps.
4. Change the subject to current events
The second someone asks you why you're still single, immediately change the topic to something that'll get them all riled up instead, like, “President Trump!” The next thing you know, you're single status will be overshadowed by the status of the country, which is more dysfunctional right now than your love life is.
5. Smile and ask for the gravy
Handle the questions like a true champ, by putting on a smile and asking someone to pass the gravy. Sit back, relax and reminisce about the beauty of being single - which means you're able to still do what you want, when you want to (ex: watch three seasons of a show on Bravo, in your pajamas, while eating two different kinds of fast-food take-out, on a Friday night) and nobody is there to judge you.
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