The RHOBH star admits there are times she doesn't like herself.

on Nov 21, 2013 - The Dish

On The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Brandi Glanville may seem like the boisterous, no-holds-barred party girl, but things aren't always so sunny or simple for the single mom, who recently blogged that this season of the show will see a "darker, slightly depressed Brandi."

Now, in an essay that she penned in the latest issue of SoberBook, Brandi's opening up further about her battles with depression, which she says stemmed from Eddie Cibrian's adultery with LeAnn Rimes. "Four and a half years after my betrayal, I still battle with depression and trust issues," she writes. "I survived my heartbreak, but I will be dealing with the damage it caused for the rest of my life. I have good months and bad months. If I didn't have my children. I might be one of the many who never came out of the darkness."

Brandi also says spending time with her children is when she is happiest and most complete. But when they leave to spend time with their dad, she falls "back into darkness."

"Here comes the other fifty percent of my personality: fun, single, party girl Brandi. I don't always love her. Sometimes I barely even like her," she continues. "She makes a ton of mistakes (just check the internet). But, I have never claimed to be perfect and it's my way of not sitting at home, alone, falling back into my dark place."

The reality star also has solid advice for others dealing with depression. "Take it one day at a time," she writes. "Don't be so hard on yourself when you mess up because we all make mistakes. Learn to ask for help when you need it and know that the people that sit back and judge us, pretending to be perfect, are usually the most messed up of all."

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