The RHOBH star admits there are times she doesn't like herself.

on Nov 21, 2013 - The Dish0

On The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Brandi Glanville may seem like the boisterous, no-holds-barred party girl, but things aren't always so sunny or simple for the single mom, who recently blogged that this season of the show will see a "darker, slightly depressed Brandi."

Now, in an essay that she penned in the latest issue of SoberBook, Brandi's opening up further about her battles with depression, which she says stemmed from Eddie Cibrian's adultery with LeAnn Rimes. "Four and a half years after my betrayal, I still battle with depression and trust issues," she writes. "I survived my heartbreak, but I will be dealing with the damage it caused for the rest of my life. I have good months and bad months. If I didn't have my children. I might be one of the many who never came out of the darkness."

Brandi also says spending time with her children is when she is happiest and most complete. But when they leave to spend time with their dad, she falls "back into darkness."

"Here comes the other fifty percent of my personality: fun, single, party girl Brandi. I don't always love her. Sometimes I barely even like her," she continues. "She makes a ton of mistakes (just check the internet). But, I have never claimed to be perfect and it's my way of not sitting at home, alone, falling back into my dark place."

The reality star also has solid advice for others dealing with depression. "Take it one day at a time," she writes. "Don't be so hard on yourself when you mess up because we all make mistakes. Learn to ask for help when you need it and know that the people that sit back and judge us, pretending to be perfect, are usually the most messed up of all."

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12 comments
susanzavagli
susanzavagli

being open and talking about depression is helpful and helpful for others who also share depression.......the Brandi you don't like is part of your depression so why don't you do something about her....do that Shuttling thing GG on Shas does with her therapist and get a grip on yourself.......you have financial security and two great sons who need you .....stop blabbing about people

ShePurrs
ShePurrs

So you don't like being alone and go out partying, drinking yourself into oblivion to ease the loneliness according to this article with your byline. You may not realize it but in admitting that, you just told the world that you don't like yourself so much. One feels lonely when alone if they are not comfortable in their own skin. Someone who has a healthy self-esteem realizes that there are always going to be times in one's life when they might be alone and they handle it because they know who and what they are, therefore allowing them to truly love themselves. They don't look outward for validation and verification from the general public. To truly love others, one needs to first love themselves. 

WVWorkingWife
WVWorkingWife

There's a part of you that I really like and hope to see more of.  I doubt we will soon. 

 

What you are describing is classing self-medicating with booze and distractions that aren't going to work in the long run.  Sure socializing can be fun and healthy for your well-being, but over-indulging and making a fool of yourself is nothing but harmful. 

 

Being a mature adult is learning your limits and sticking to them.  Because I don't find you have much depth intellectually, I would suggest spending some of that time when your kids away getting educated on some topics that will benefit you and finding some hobbies that will make you more well-rounded.  IMO that would go leaps and bounds toward making you a more complete person that you like and be proud of.

HousewifeinNH
HousewifeinNH

You're not very resilient, are you.  Keep on doing what you're doing instead of putting the bad stuff behind you and you stand an excellent chance of staying in darkness.  I think you enjoy wallowing in it to tell you the truth.  In addition, no one is perfect, but that shouldn't stop you from trying to improve your behavior.  Using the "I'm not perfect" excuse doesn't mean you can just going around acting sloppy and saying stupid things without putting any effort into controlling yourself.

lynnwhitlock
lynnwhitlock

If you are battling depression, an issue I deal with myself, your biggest mistake is drinking.  Give it up.  It is a battle you will never win if you continue to drink as much as you do.  

BlingDong
BlingDong

Gosh, only sometimes? If I behaved the way she does, I'd be depressed 100% of the time. Success achieved by climbing over the backs of people you had to step on and lie about is something to be ashamed of and she must know it won't last. Waiting for that balloon to burst has to be fearful and depressing. But, anyone who tries to help her actually improve herself in a worthwhile way just gets kicked under the next bus.

imarelic100
imarelic100

Brandi - part of growing up is learning from your mistakes. No wonder you're constantly going in and out of depression. You never LEARN!

I used to like you, but now all I see is a fake, immature big-mouth who tries to bring everyone DOWN in YOUR misery!

You're NO fun to watch anymore!

NOT BUYING ANYTHING OF YOURS!

la12ce
la12ce

Booze does not help depression. Perhaps if you became involved in a charity and think about others,rather than wallowing, you will realize things could be worse...much worse. You've come a long way so move on, move up and remember those (Lisa) who were there in the darkest hours, Encouraging you, helping you,guiding you. Repay them with kindness, not disloyalty.

Petunia2
Petunia2

Liar,liar. I wonder if Joanna is depressed? I wonder if Adrianne, Lisa and all the others you walked on became depressed after you used them to climb. Now you want our money through buying a book full of fiction. I think you are under estimating the intelligence of your audience. You will use anything and everyone for money or fame. Get lost.

TinaS
TinaS

 @lynnwhitlock So very true.  Alcohol is a depressant... soooo not good for people predisposed to depression.