Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, known globally as The Rock, took to Instagram this week to call some of his Fast & Furious co-stars “candy asses,” and he didn't mean they have nice buns.
The Rock let it spill that some guys on the movie franchise don’t act like “stand up men and true professionals.” “When you watch this movie next April,” he wrote, “and it seems like I'm not acting in some of these scenes and my blood is legit boiling—you're right.” Ooh.
Let’s just go ahead and immediately eliminate Dame Helen Mirren—who makes an appearance in Fast 8 for who knows what rea$on—because everyone knows that she wouldn’t take nonsense from anyone, especially a human who named himself after a sedimentary object children and dogs play with. The Rock also made clear his “female co-stars are always amazing and I love 'em.” That also includes Charlize Theron.
So who’s left as the possible “candy ass?”
We have Ludacris, Tyrese, Kurt Russell (please say no, not Kurt, Goldie's grizzly old boyfriend we all love), Kristofer Hivju (maybe, because who’s that), Vin Diesel (sounds like a warning label on the barrel of some weird imported gasoline, likely the candy), Scott Eastwood (probably not considering his father is Clint and we know how Clint handles candy asses), and Jason Statham (he likes to drink and fight, so probably not.)
Here is The Rock’s post in full:
“This is my final week of shooting #FastandFurious8. There’s no other franchise that gets my blood boiling more than this one. An incredible hard working crew. UNIVERSAL has been great partners as well. My female co-stars are always amazing and I love ’em. My male co-stars however are a different story. Some conduct themselves as stand up men and true professionals, while others don’t. The ones that don’t are too chicken shit to do anything about it anyway. Candy asses. When you watch this movie next April and it seems like I'm not acting in some of these scenes and my blood is legit boiling - you’re right."
Tyrese was the first to publicly respond that he is not, in fact, the candy ass—not in that way anyway. He does have a sweet bod. But back to the issue at hand. The model-actor responded to Rock’s post, with a video of his co-star singing to Tyrese’s daughter.
“Why are you guys so impressionable?” he wrote. “A man wouldn’t be singing from his heart and soul to another mans little angel if he had a problem with her dad - Does any of us know why bro decided to jump out there with his post? No……I don’t know WHO he has a problem and I don’t have any details of WHAT those problems are-as a matter of fact if I DID know I would tell you s**t!!!!”
He even calls The Rock his brother, writing he’s “one of the most humble, down to earth, and professional people I’ve ever worked with and more importantly he’s my brother we have NEVER had a problem and will never have a problem.”
Eliminating the other co-stars because they all seem cool with The Rock, we are left with Vin Diesel. The two hard-bodied stars with ridiculous names had beef on the set, according to TMZ, which reports that “V.D. is a producer and has made decisions that didn’t sit well with the former wrestling champ,” and that “tensions were running so high it was almost impossible to shoot scenes.” The two even had an emergency meeting to hash out their differences and now the entire cast and crew are upset.
There you have it. Can’t wait for Fast & Furious 9: The Return of Candy Ass.
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