If there exists a more polarizing figure in the NFL than Tom Brady, we don’t know who he is.
The New England Patriots quarterback, who literally walks on clouds in the eyes of his fans (not just because he’s notoriously a spokesman for a certain brand of fuzzy boots), is also one of the most reviled players in the league thanks to his involvement with a scandal we won’t mention for fear of continuing the world’s unhealthy obsession with attaching the suffix –gate to every. single. controversy. on. earth.
That scandal, combined with its subsequent four-game suspension, freed Tom up to conduct an in-depth interview with New York Magazine, where Mr. Gisele Bundchen took the time to discuss important things like the number of UGGs he owns (“more than you could ever imagine”), his home attire (“a pair of sweats or a pair of jeans”) and what he’s doing with his time off (he got a haircut).
While all that is fascinating on its own (is it?), the portion of the article where Brady delves into his famously rigid diet and exercise routine is where things really take a turn for the weird. It’s at this point that he makes a number of strange food confessions, starting with his thoughts on cheeseburgers.
He doesn't reveal whether he eats cheeseburgers, or how often, but he does take the opportunity to wax philosophical: “Do you need to eat a cheeseburger every day to realize that you love a cheeseburger?” he asks his interviewer. “Or could you eat it once a week … or once every two weeks … or once a month … or once every two months?”
He does, however, let readers in on the fact that he doesn’t get cravings for things like strawberries and coffee, BECAUSE HE’S NEVER TRIED THEM IN HIS LIFE.
Seriously. Almost 40 years on earth, never a curious sip of a coffee or a delicious bite of strawberry. Don’t believe it? LOOK AT THE QUOTE:
“I’ve never eaten a strawberry in my life. I have no desire to do that…Absolutely not.”
Forget the fact that the man is depriving himself of so many delicious foods. Being the most successful quarterback in the history of a sport seems like a decent tradeoff. What we really don’t get is the idea that never having tried something means there is no desire to do it.
Just because you haven’t eaten bacon dipped in chocolate doesn’t mean you’d have no desire to try it (you should). Just because you haven’t sipped a $5,000 bottle of wine doesn’t mean you wouldn’t try it (you would). And just because you’ve never bitten into a strawberry doesn't mean you couldn’t crave the sweet delicious taste of it (you could).
Tom, you’re more mystery than man.
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